Separating...

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My wife of 23 years and I are separating. It's been a few years coming, but it still hurts. A lot. I'm moving into my own place this coming weekend, and I'm worried about being alone. I'm an alcoholic, and I had 22+ years of sobriety under my belt until 2 Friday's ago when I got good and loaded. I've been sober since then though. I have very few friends, although I have met a few potential friends recently at AA meetings. I'm mostly wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how I can keep from isolating...to meet new people. FYI I really have no special interests...maybe someone has an idea or two? I basically just wanted to create a space for me to air my feelings...

I'm moving this coming Friday. I'm very concerned that being all alone will lead me to drinking. I don't want to drink...I know what a life of drinking is like. I brought it up in an AA meeting last night and got some good suggestions, as well as two phone numbers of guys who want to help me out when I feel the urge to drink. Still, until I actually move and an faced with being alone all the time (I work from home so I have little to no human contact throughout the day) I'm going to worry.

Sorry to hear this. I do not know what to advise as I have never been through the same situation. I hope all goes well for you.

Thank you, Mountain Goat. I've never gone through this before either...it's the fear of the unknown that bothers me most.

I just found this thread.

Do you like sports?

If I were in your situation, I would watch as many ballgames as possible.

Also: you could come on here and talk to us. I know it's not "real life"---but, sometimes, this place is better than "real life."

What I also do sometimes when I'm down is take walks.

And reading is good, too. And surfing the Net (but don't get involved in stupid discussions on social media).

Thanks for the response, Kraftie. I do like sports, and was planning on watching whenever possible. And I probably will be more present on this forum, too. I just can't figure out how to meet new people. I'm 58, don't drink (I hope that continues) so the bar scene is out. I guess I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

It really depends on the town or city you live in.

Going to the movies is always good. You're in an air-conditioned environment, you don't have to interact with anyone, and it makes the time pass by quickly.

I'm moving from a rural town of < 500 to a city of about 43,000. I'm assuming they have a movie theatre? I could hit the library too as I like to read. I'm also looking for ways to meet people as I don't want to die alone.

If you're near Amherst, you could probably partake of some of the activities there.

You're familiar with Amherst? I'll be about 1 1/2 hours west of there!

I’m somewhat familiar with it. It’s a college town.

You must be in the Berkshires.

Yep. Big college town.

I will be in the Berkshires, yes.

I met a guy named Andy at an AA meeting last night. He gave me his number and offered to show me around my new town as he already lives there. Potential friend I guess...if I could ever figure out how to let someone in.

Hi Steve, I just saw this too. Amherst is a great town. Walk down the mainstreet, go to the bookstore, there are posters and flyers everywhere of very interesting events. Many of them free. My son used to live in Amherst. Maybe they don’t use flyers anymore now that everything is online.

Amherst area probably has many AA meetings. Go every day. Even twice a day if you can.

AA is a super great resource. Use those phone numbers. Even if you think you are bothering someone, remember that’s how they stay sober, is talking to you. I spent a long time in Alanon and in ACOA. When I was having a hard time I would go to as many meetings as I could, even two a day. The AA people have way more grounding, because their lives depend on it. Yours too.

In my experience making actual real life friends takes time. Maybe you’ll be lucky and make friends quickly. If not, be patient.

Many hugs.

It's funny about Holyoke:

There's a part of it that you must avoid at all costs; it's a "hood" in these parts.

But there are other parts of Holyoke that have nice Victorian homes.

Then you have Mount Holyoke College. You get a nice view of it from the highway. I took a bus up to Holyoke one day in 1991; that's why I know about it.

Why do you know this area so well kraftie? I mean...you were there once 30 years ago and you remember it that well? You're spot on about Holyoke...it's one of the worst towns in MA crime-wise...and then you have those beautiful Victorian homes...it's such an odd place.