ASD overlaps ADHD overlaps depression and anxiety overlaps compulsive behaviors.
I NEED to know things. If I don't know EVERYTHING about a topic I feel like know NOTHING about a topic.
ASD.
Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.
This is my job. I do computer technology. I WANT to build things. I am better at fixing things and automating things.
I am anxious about being different from other people, about being out of control or being controlled and manipulated by others. I also have fear of abandonment. I want to be left alone and I also want others to accept me. The real me.
Is it ASD trouble with (certain types of) abstraction? Part/Whole? Is it ADHD hyperfocus, going down a rabbit hole (sure I "should" not, and desperate to completely map the rabbit hole). Is it social anxiety keeping me from asking for help? Depression having a hard time starting things, taking actions? Is it compulsive behaviors - I MUST to this - I NEED to do this?
Is it me? (or is it memorex?)
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ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie