Ugly Guys Who Are Successful With Women

Page 4 of 6 [ 85 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

13 Sep 2021, 11:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
On the excessive end are the "classic" Narcissists, who have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

At the deficient end is the Anti-Narcissist, whose only difference from the "classic" form is an exaggerated sense of their own unimportance -- the "buggerly" personality -- while still retaining their deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.


If you remove these two groups then social media will be too boring to use :lol:



Muse933277
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 793

13 Sep 2021, 11:50 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Looks are somewhat important, but frankly they're not too important in the long run.




I still think they're very important.

Think about it like this. When you meet a potential partner, you're more likely to like them and take their personality into consideration if you find them cute, pretty, handsome, etc... If you don't find someone attractive AT ALL, it doesn't matter how nice they are, you're simply not attracted to them and will likely never consider them as a potential romantic partner.

So yes, looks are important. There's no question about it.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

13 Sep 2021, 11:55 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
If you don't find someone attractive AT ALL, it doesn't matter how nice they are, you're simply not attracted to them and will likely never consider them as a potential romantic partner.


There are apps now that tell women (registered with the service) when they see you that you are a member of that service and they can use their phone to tell you if they are interested or not.

I wish they had these devices in my single days



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

14 Sep 2021, 12:14 am

Looking back at group pics, I objectively find all the other guys are more attractive than me, face and body wise; so I dunno. I don’t find much examples around me (not the internet) that “disapprove” to me the importance of looks.



Muse933277
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 793

14 Sep 2021, 12:21 am

I used to be a member of a church group that had several cute white girls. 3 of them were either married or dating someone. Can you guess what all of their boyfriends looked like? They were all 6 ft tall skinny white guys, every single one of them.

Looks don't matter my ass.



1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

14 Sep 2021, 12:29 am

Quote:
There are apps now that tell women (registered with the service) when they see you that you are a member of that service and they can use their phone to tell you if they are interested or not.

I wish they had these devices in my single days

I guess in the old days you had to try to talk to them and figure it out that way.

I realize that this is a forum for mostly socially challenged people (including me) but I wonder if modern tech is really helpful. People as a whole these days seem less adept at understanding the social game. When high schoolers have breaks between lessons nowadays they just sit there quietly with their smartphones. At the risk of sounding like an old fart we just talked to each other - men and women. That's how we gauged whether you had a chance with each other or not. I mean I still failed but at least I tried and it paid off later. :lol:

Recently studies indicate average IQ is dropping in advanced first-world societies. It wouldn't surprise me at all if EQ is also dropping. Outsourcing one's smarts to the smartphone. :nerdy:



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

14 Sep 2021, 12:59 am

1986 wrote:
At the risk of sounding like an old fart we just talked to each other - men and women. That's how we gauged whether you had a chance with each other or not. I mean I still failed but at least I tried and it paid off later. :lol:


To be fair I'm talking about the step leading to chit-chat. I was pretty comfortable with women once they got to know me. The problem back in those days was meeting chicks.

The apps have one big advantage is that in a big city on any given day you can signal to maybe 30-40 girls in one outing, they can check you out and maybe 1-2 might want to say hello and talk. These are far better odds than meeting one single girl in 12months :|



1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

14 Sep 2021, 1:27 am

Yeah, I see your point.

People in big cities guard their privacy a lot. It's not like you can just walk up to someone and strike a conversation easily. I guess I'm biased because when I was single and searching, I was still in high school & uni so good-looing women were everywhere and you had some common ground which made things easier.

Quote:
I wish they had these devices in my single days

So in absence of that, how did you cope?



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

14 Sep 2021, 1:41 am

1986 wrote:
People in big cities guard their privacy a lot. It's not like you can just walk up to someone and strike a conversation easily. I guess I'm biased because when I was single and searching, I was still in high school & uni so good-looing women were everywhere and you had some common ground which made things easier.

Fair enough, It also depends on where you live. In Australia girls are very out-doors orientated so they are of hiking, at the gym, beach or playing sport. These are no-go areas for picking up.

1986 wrote:
So in absence of that, how did you cope?


Only way to meet girls back in the 1980s and the 1990s was to go to parties.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

14 Sep 2021, 1:50 am

Muse933277 wrote:
Whale_Tuune wrote:
Looks are somewhat important, but frankly they're not too important in the long run.




I still think they're very important.

Think about it like this. When you meet a potential partner, you're more likely to like them and take their personality into consideration if you find them cute, pretty, handsome, etc... If you don't find someone attractive AT ALL, it doesn't matter how nice they are, you're simply not attracted to them and will likely never consider them as a potential romantic partner.

So yes, looks are important. There's no question about it.


Sexual attraction is important in a sexual relationship, yes. 8)
Platonic relationships, on the other hand, don't need this element.
In the skeme of things, "Platonic Relationships" are an anomaly or incidental in terms of the evolutionary process.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

14 Sep 2021, 1:52 am

Muse933277 wrote:
I used to be a member of a church group that had several cute white girls. 3 of them were either married or dating someone. Can you guess what all of their boyfriends looked like? They were all 6 ft tall skinny white guys, every single one of them.

Looks don't matter my ass.


Agreed. 8)

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Looking back at group pics, I objectively find all the other guys are more attractive than me, face and body wise; so I dunno. I don’t find much examples around me (not the internet) that “disapprove” to me the importance of looks.


Self-evident.

This type of discussion has been going on, literally, for years.
My POV has never changed. 8)

If any 9's and 10's want to prove me wrong, this old skunk is available. :mrgreen:



1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

14 Sep 2021, 2:04 am

Quote:
Only way to meet girls back in the 1980s and the 1990s was to go to parties.

That was the norm in the 00s too when I was out searching. It was hard, not meeting people but proceeding from talking to sex and relationships. In today's terminology, dodging the friendzone. Took me a long time just to build the social skills to find a crowd to fit into, getting invited to the parties, and dressing and grooming well enough to play my part ... but I'd give off the wrong image though if I say I'm don't get the point of online dating, apps, and the like. My first point of contact with my partner was actually an online language exchange. The partying and everything I had to learn to get invited didn't pay off the way I expected, but I learned a lot about women that way.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

14 Sep 2021, 3:57 am

1986 wrote:
In today's terminology, dodging the friendzone. Took me a long time just to build the social skills to find a crowd to fit into, getting invited to the parties, and dressing and grooming well enough to play my part ...


Yes it took me a while to "fit in" around my late 20s (I was somewhat preoccupied with money before then). Part of what built my confidence was earning a crust and having money to buy a car and get my own accommodation.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

14 Sep 2021, 4:27 am

Pepe wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
I used to be a member of a church group that had several cute white girls. 3 of them were either married or dating someone. Can you guess what all of their boyfriends looked like? They were all 6 ft tall skinny white guys, every single one of them.

Looks don't matter my ass.


Agreed. 8)

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Looking back at group pics, I objectively find all the other guys are more attractive than me, face and body wise; so I dunno. I don’t find much examples around me (not the internet) that “disapprove” to me the importance of looks.


Self-evident.

This type of discussion has been going on, literally, for years.
My POV has never changed. 8)

If any 9's and 10's want to prove me wrong, this old skunk is available. :mrgreen:



Also they're more charismatic while talking, with articulate voices, not monotone geek robotic like me.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

14 Sep 2021, 4:37 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Also they're more charismatic while talking, with articulate voices, not monotone geek robotic like me.
Based on your posts, you're pretty successful with women... so, what's your magical trick?


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

14 Sep 2021, 4:41 am

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Also they're more charismatic while talking, with articulate voices, not monotone geek robotic like me.
Based on your posts, you're pretty successful with women... so, what's your magical trick?


Very primitive trick: Going for women of different ethnicities; who are initially attracted to the caucasian looks.

I am not successful in attracting women of my own ethnicity at all.