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Kitty4670
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02 Sep 2021, 1:57 am

How do people date now a days?


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Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 2:09 am

Do you meet these men you talk to online often in general? Even before covid?



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 2:53 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.



Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 2:58 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 4:36 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.



Kitty4670
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02 Sep 2021, 4:43 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.


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Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 4:53 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.

I dont have the liquid cash money to do what i want to do and live where i wanna live.Its either live with them or live in section 8 or in a insitution for the rest of my life or be homeless again.This wont be forever.I have to reinvest all my extra money into my financial future if i wanna have a chance of achieving my dreams.



DW_a_mom
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02 Sep 2021, 5:14 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.

I dont have the liquid cash money to do what i want to do and live where i wanna live.Its either live with them or live in section 8 or in a insitution for the rest of my life or be homeless again.This wont be forever.I have to reinvest all my extra money into my financial future if i wanna have a chance of achieving my dreams.


I realize this is a tangent ...

I can understand the pragmatic reasons for continuing to live with your parents, but you ARE an adult, and it does not sound like they treat you as one. A change in approach was one of the gifts I gave my kids when they turned 18: I started treating them as adults. That doesn't mean I never have requests. After all, we do share a home together and some things are simply common courtesy for people who share space. But I stay out of anything that doesn't affect me directly. Your post leaves me feeling like your parents believe they need to protect you, perhaps based on past experiences, but you also have a right to certain amount of agency over your own life. Have you considered asking your parents to treat you more as the adult you are? Or to at least be open with you about why they don't feel comfortable doing so? If they don't have pragmatic reasons for failing to give you more agency over your own life, I think you should consider telling them that you have a right to make your own mistakes, just like any other adult would. If you have to, remind them that ASD is considered a developmental delay, not a life-long sentence of incompetence. We are on this earth to grow and develop, and you can't do that if you are never allowed to fly at all.


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DW_a_mom
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02 Sep 2021, 5:22 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?


The funny thing is, I don't know the answer and opened the thread more out of curiosity. From my kids and work associates I get the impression that dating is much more informal than it used to be. Not the old fashioned guy asks girl out, everyone dresses up, guy pays. Perhaps a topic of conversation with your potential date is to ask him how he likes to approach dating. There are no one size fits all answers, and listening to him will answer your question with respect to him, at least.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 5:26 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 5:29 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.

I dont have the liquid cash money to do what i want to do and live where i wanna live.Its either live with them or live in section 8 or in a insitution for the rest of my life or be homeless again.This wont be forever.I have to reinvest all my extra money into my financial future if i wanna have a chance of achieving my dreams.


I realize this is a tangent ...

I can understand the pragmatic reasons for continuing to live with your parents, but you ARE an adult, and it does not sound like they treat you as one. A change in approach was one of the gifts I gave my kids when they turned 18: I started treating them as adults. That doesn't mean I never have requests. After all, we do share a home together and some things are simply common courtesy for people who share space. But I stay out of anything that doesn't affect me directly. Your post leaves me feeling like your parents believe they need to protect you, perhaps based on past experiences, but you also have a right to certain amount of agency over your own life. Have you considered asking your parents to treat you more as the adult you are? Or to at least be open with you about why they don't feel comfortable doing so? If they don't have pragmatic reasons for failing to give you more agency over your own life, I think you should consider telling them that you have a right to make your own mistakes, just like any other adult would. If you have to, remind them that ASD is considered a developmental delay, not a life-long sentence of incompetence. We are on this earth to grow and develop, and you can't do that if you are never allowed to fly at all.

Thanks for sticking up for me because I dont have anybody in real life to stick up for me really.They keep on telling me to be independent but I tell them that I need money and a job to do that but they dont believe it.They think they need to control me and protect me from myself.I hate to say it but I am just waiting to get my independence in a couple decades after they are gone and i get my trust fund as a worst case scenario but I am trying to build my business to get out sooner than that.Thanks very much.I appreciate your undserstanding.



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 5:33 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.



Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 5:44 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?



Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 5:45 am

And to answer how do people date these days I just ignore the virus. I have both jabs now and if that's not enough to go dating then nothing is.



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 5:55 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?

I doubt it.There's nowhere intown to meet the opposite gender because this is a mostly male area due to our industry.They dont even let me go to bars.And there is nobody at church and our circle of friends at church want me to marry someone who was raised church of Christ but thats hard to find these days.



Nades
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02 Sep 2021, 7:18 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?

I doubt it.There's nowhere intown to meet the opposite gender because this is a mostly male area due to our industry.They dont even let me go to bars.And there is nobody at church and our circle of friends at church want me to marry someone who was raised church of Christ but thats hard to find these days.


Do you have a driving licence? If you do you can sneak out to places of your choosing provided the town is big enough.

You should bring up the fact that at the age of 30, a lot, if not most of your similar aged peers have settled down with a family of their own.........they won't even let you date or socialise.

Tell them whatever they thought was best for you has clearly failed miserably and now it's your turn to make the decisions.

It's one of those very straightforward cases in my eyes. Being 31 and not even allowed to socialize with people before being vetted by your parents is stark raving bonkers beyond comprehension. You need to have a convo with your parents where you don't politely ask then what you want to do, you explicitly tell them what you want to do and tell them they must be happy with it or else. If your dad or mother takes badly to this convo and feel the need to shout tell them to get f***ed.

There is no need for conflict de-escalation with your parents and the fact you want to date properly at the age of 31. If they even want to hit you then give them your best back and more.