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DW_a_mom
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02 Sep 2021, 8:45 pm

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.

I dont have the liquid cash money to do what i want to do and live where i wanna live.Its either live with them or live in section 8 or in a insitution for the rest of my life or be homeless again.This wont be forever.I have to reinvest all my extra money into my financial future if i wanna have a chance of achieving my dreams.


I realize this is a tangent ...

I can understand the pragmatic reasons for continuing to live with your parents, but you ARE an adult, and it does not sound like they treat you as one. A change in approach was one of the gifts I gave my kids when they turned 18: I started treating them as adults. That doesn't mean I never have requests. After all, we do share a home together and some things are simply common courtesy for people who share space. But I stay out of anything that doesn't affect me directly. Your post leaves me feeling like your parents believe they need to protect you, perhaps based on past experiences, but you also have a right to certain amount of agency over your own life. Have you considered asking your parents to treat you more as the adult you are? Or to at least be open with you about why they don't feel comfortable doing so? If they don't have pragmatic reasons for failing to give you more agency over your own life, I think you should consider telling them that you have a right to make your own mistakes, just like any other adult would. If you have to, remind them that ASD is considered a developmental delay, not a life-long sentence of incompetence. We are on this earth to grow and develop, and you can't do that if you are never allowed to fly at all.

Thanks for sticking up for me because I dont have anybody in real life to stick up for me really. They keep on telling me to be independent but I tell them that I need money and a job to do that but they dont believe it.They think they need to control me and protect me from myself.I hate to say it but I am just waiting to get my independence in a couple decades after they are gone and i get my trust fund as a worst case scenario but I am trying to build my business to get out sooner than that.Thanks very much.I appreciate your undserstanding.


Let's see what can be done within the framework you have. I've bolded a key statement that you and your parents may understand differently. If you can make advancements to show them that you fit into their definition, perhaps they will more easily relax their efforts at control.

Independence isn't only being able to live on your own or support yourself. It is displayed in hundreds of small interactions and decisions every single day. I have a son and a daughter with my son being older, but from a young age I could easily say that my daughter showed more independence, and I had fewer reasons to worry about how strong her ability would be to look after herself as an adult.

Some ways to exhibit independence that do not require a job or money:

1. Tracking your own responsibilities and meeting them without assistance. This is a difficult factor for many with ASD because it requires executive function, but a successful, independent adult life also requires executive function. Getting to classes or a job on-time, turning in homework or meeting a filing deadline, scheduling and keeping a doctor's appointment are all on this list. The solution for my son was to work on and find effective work-around strategies that he felt comfortable implementing and maintaining for himself.

2. Exercising good judgement. Many NTs would say common sense, but my son has a lot of trouble with that term, so the parameter might be better expressed as being able to make decisions that get acceptable results, versus making decisions that create new issues. In the world of on-line dating, good judgement would be having enough skepticism to avoid being cat fished, financially taken advantage of, or exposing the household to danger. Would your parents see you as being overly trusting and too quick to give out personal information? If so, work on ingraining protective protocols.

3. Figuring out how to complete new tasks on your own. Can you book a plane flight or figure out a bus route? Can you fill out an employment application? Can you keep a checking account without over drawing funds? Do you know how to find the answers for something you haven't done before?

4. Taking care of yourself. Can you cook? Can you operate safely in a kitchen? Do you keep your bathroom clean? Can you do laundry? Do you remember all your self-care and hygiene steps daily?

I'm not asking these questions as something for you to answer in this thread. I'm asking them as things for you to ask yourself, for you to help identify potential areas where your parents may feel you exhibit a lack of independence. Once you've identified those for yourself, you have a list of what to work on. If there are none, perhaps your parents are just unreasonable. I can't answer that from here.

All adults deserve agency over their lives and I wish you the best of luck.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Texasmoneyman300
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02 Sep 2021, 8:51 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


You are 31, do what you want, don’t listen to them.

I dont have the liquid cash money to do what i want to do and live where i wanna live.Its either live with them or live in section 8 or in a insitution for the rest of my life or be homeless again.This wont be forever.I have to reinvest all my extra money into my financial future if i wanna have a chance of achieving my dreams.


I realize this is a tangent ...

I can understand the pragmatic reasons for continuing to live with your parents, but you ARE an adult, and it does not sound like they treat you as one. A change in approach was one of the gifts I gave my kids when they turned 18: I started treating them as adults. That doesn't mean I never have requests. After all, we do share a home together and some things are simply common courtesy for people who share space. But I stay out of anything that doesn't affect me directly. Your post leaves me feeling like your parents believe they need to protect you, perhaps based on past experiences, but you also have a right to certain amount of agency over your own life. Have you considered asking your parents to treat you more as the adult you are? Or to at least be open with you about why they don't feel comfortable doing so? If they don't have pragmatic reasons for failing to give you more agency over your own life, I think you should consider telling them that you have a right to make your own mistakes, just like any other adult would. If you have to, remind them that ASD is considered a developmental delay, not a life-long sentence of incompetence. We are on this earth to grow and develop, and you can't do that if you are never allowed to fly at all.

Thanks for sticking up for me because I dont have anybody in real life to stick up for me really. They keep on telling me to be independent but I tell them that I need money and a job to do that but they dont believe it.They think they need to control me and protect me from myself.I hate to say it but I am just waiting to get my independence in a couple decades after they are gone and i get my trust fund as a worst case scenario but I am trying to build my business to get out sooner than that.Thanks very much.I appreciate your undserstanding.


Let's see what can be done within the framework you have. I've bolded a key statement that you and your parents may understand differently. If you can make advancements to show them that you fit into their definition, perhaps they will more easily relax their efforts at control.

Independence isn't only being able to live on your own or support yourself. It is displayed in hundreds of small interactions and decisions every single day. I have a son and a daughter with my son being older, but from a young age I could easily say that my daughter showed more independence, and I had fewer reasons to worry about how strong her ability would be to look after herself as an adult.

Some ways to exhibit independence that do not require a job or money:

1. Tracking your own responsibilities and meeting them without assistance. This is a difficult factor for many with ASD because it requires executive function, but a successful, independent adult life also requires executive function. Getting to classes or a job on-time, turning in homework or meeting a filing deadline, scheduling and keeping a doctor's appointment are all on this list. The solution for my son was to work on and find effective work-around strategies that he felt comfortable implementing and maintaining for himself.

2. Exercising good judgement. Many NTs would say common sense, but my son has a lot of trouble with that term, so the parameter might be better expressed as being able to make decisions that get acceptable results, versus making decisions that create new issues. In the world of on-line dating, good judgement would be having enough skepticism to avoid being cat fished, financially taken advantage of, or exposing the household to danger. Would your parents see you as being overly trusting and too quick to give out personal information? If so, work on ingraining protective protocols.

3. Figuring out how to complete new tasks on your own. Can you book a plane flight or figure out a bus route? Can you fill out an employment application? Can you keep a checking account without over drawing funds? Do you know how to find the answers for something you haven't done before?

4. Taking care of yourself. Can you cook? Can you operate safely in a kitchen? Do you keep your bathroom clean? Can you do laundry? Do you remember all your self-care and hygiene steps daily?

I'm not asking these questions as something for you to answer in this thread. I'm asking them as things for you to ask yourself, for you to help identify potential areas where your parents may feel you exhibit a lack of independence. Once you've identified those for yourself, you have a list of what to work on. If there are none, perhaps your parents are just unreasonable. I can't answer that from here.

All adults deserve agency over their lives and I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks very much my friend.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2021, 1:39 am

Nades wrote:
Do you meet these men you talk to online often in general? Even before covid?


I bet that it's none.


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Texasmoneyman300
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03 Sep 2021, 6:38 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?

I doubt it.There's nowhere intown to meet the opposite gender because this is a mostly male area due to our industry.They dont even let me go to bars.And there is nobody at church and our circle of friends at church want me to marry someone who was raised church of Christ but thats hard to find these days.


Do you have a driving licence? If you do you can sneak out to places of your choosing provided the town is big enough.

You should bring up the fact that at the age of 30, a lot, if not most of your similar aged peers have settled down with a family of their own.........they won't even let you date or socialise.

Tell them whatever they thought was best for you has clearly failed miserably and now it's your turn to make the decisions.

It's one of those very straightforward cases in my eyes. Being 31 and not even allowed to socialize with people before being vetted by your parents is stark raving bonkers beyond comprehension. You need to have a convo with your parents where you don't politely ask then what you want to do, you explicitly tell them what you want to do and tell them they must be happy with it or else. If your dad or mother takes badly to this convo and feel the need to shout tell them to get f***ed.

There is no need for conflict de-escalation with your parents and the fact you want to date properly at the age of 31. If they even want to hit you then give them your best back and more.

I do have a license but the car is in their name.So if i snuck out with their car that would be grand theft auto.I told them that I am 31 and i want to date and they told me i cant afford it with my liquid cash income so they wont let me date or have a relationship.



Nades
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03 Sep 2021, 8:12 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?

I doubt it.There's nowhere intown to meet the opposite gender because this is a mostly male area due to our industry.They dont even let me go to bars.And there is nobody at church and our circle of friends at church want me to marry someone who was raised church of Christ but thats hard to find these days.


Do you have a driving licence? If you do you can sneak out to places of your choosing provided the town is big enough.

You should bring up the fact that at the age of 30, a lot, if not most of your similar aged peers have settled down with a family of their own.........they won't even let you date or socialise.

Tell them whatever they thought was best for you has clearly failed miserably and now it's your turn to make the decisions.

It's one of those very straightforward cases in my eyes. Being 31 and not even allowed to socialize with people before being vetted by your parents is stark raving bonkers beyond comprehension. You need to have a convo with your parents where you don't politely ask then what you want to do, you explicitly tell them what you want to do and tell them they must be happy with it or else. If your dad or mother takes badly to this convo and feel the need to shout tell them to get f***ed.

There is no need for conflict de-escalation with your parents and the fact you want to date properly at the age of 31. If they even want to hit you then give them your best back and more.

I do have a license but the car is in their name.So if i snuck out with their car that would be grand theft auto.I told them that I am 31 and i want to date and they told me i cant afford it with my liquid cash income so they wont let me date or have a relationship.


It seems like your parents have directly or indirectly set up your affairs so you have to live your life through them. It's a common way of controlling people and monitoring their every move. My parents were glad to get me out of the house. I used to annoy them so much as a teenager they flung their car keys at me and told me to sod off somewhere. The fact you're a lot older and still need to explain the use of the family car just screams control.

Dating costs almost nothing so lack of finances seems like a bizarre excuse. Does that licence extend to small motorbikes or mopeds? They will be a lot more accessible and cheaper than a car though obviously less practical but still might be an affordable option. Alternatively just lying about why you want the car might be easy enough.

Finding any method of getting them out of your hair for a few hours is more than reasonable at your age. Locking the nosey old todgers in the bathroom is even an option.



Texasmoneyman300
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04 Sep 2021, 10:26 pm

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?

I dont because my parents wont let me have a online dating account and there's nobody at church for me to date.


Your parents are controlling. You should distance yourself from them.

I have nowhere else to go or to live but with my parents so I have to deal with it for the time being, Nades.


I would look at liquidating assets asap and moving. All I seen was your age (31), the fact you live in Texas and have religious parents that don't let you use online dating. I don't need to know anymore to realise that you have parents that will be almost impossible to negotiate with.

The average age for having a kid in the UK, where I'm from, is 30 yet your parents won't let you date women until they're pre vetted by them and you're 31.

It's time to give them ultimatiums or leave when you can and never look back.

I hope your parents can see common sense one day and let you live your life.

Personally I bellieve that my only hope of me living my own life if i am not successful in business or work is whenever i get my inheritance.I have literally nowhere to go.I cant sacrifice my retirement.Its just my lot in life i guess.


Might they not budge at all on convincing them to allow you to date more freely?

I doubt it.There's nowhere intown to meet the opposite gender because this is a mostly male area due to our industry.They dont even let me go to bars.And there is nobody at church and our circle of friends at church want me to marry someone who was raised church of Christ but thats hard to find these days.


Do you have a driving licence? If you do you can sneak out to places of your choosing provided the town is big enough.

You should bring up the fact that at the age of 30, a lot, if not most of your similar aged peers have settled down with a family of their own.........they won't even let you date or socialise.

Tell them whatever they thought was best for you has clearly failed miserably and now it's your turn to make the decisions.

It's one of those very straightforward cases in my eyes. Being 31 and not even allowed to socialize with people before being vetted by your parents is stark raving bonkers beyond comprehension. You need to have a convo with your parents where you don't politely ask then what you want to do, you explicitly tell them what you want to do and tell them they must be happy with it or else. If your dad or mother takes badly to this convo and feel the need to shout tell them to get f***ed.

There is no need for conflict de-escalation with your parents and the fact you want to date properly at the age of 31. If they even want to hit you then give them your best back and more.

I do have a license but the car is in their name.So if i snuck out with their car that would be grand theft auto.I told them that I am 31 and i want to date and they told me i cant afford it with my liquid cash income so they wont let me date or have a relationship.


It seems like your parents have directly or indirectly set up your affairs so you have to live your life through them. It's a common way of controlling people and monitoring their every move. My parents were glad to get me out of the house. I used to annoy them so much as a teenager they flung their car keys at me and told me to sod off somewhere. The fact you're a lot older and still need to explain the use of the family car just screams control.

Dating costs almost nothing so lack of finances seems like a bizarre excuse. Does that licence extend to small motorbikes or mopeds? They will be a lot more accessible and cheaper than a car though obviously less practical but still might be an affordable option. Alternatively just lying about why you want the car might be easy enough.

Finding any method of getting them out of your hair for a few hours is more than reasonable at your age. Locking the nosey old todgers in the bathroom is even an option.

Well they wont financially allow it because they dont think i have the liquid money for a dating site.I told my mom that I am 31 and I want to date and she told me to shut up.The DL does not apply to motorcycles or anything like that.I am not going to lie since it is against my moral code.They dont think i need to date but I think I should be allowed to date because I am 31.I live in a small town and there is nothing fun to do for a few hours.



Nades
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05 Sep 2021, 6:24 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Well they wont financially allow it because they dont think i have the liquid money for a dating site.I told my mom that I am 31 and I want to date and she told me to shut up.The DL does not apply to motorcycles or anything like that.I am not going to lie since it is against my moral code.They dont think i need to date but I think I should be allowed to date because I am 31.I live in a small town and there is nothing fun to do for a few hours.



I would seriously consider changing your moral code. Your parents have no right whatsoever to honesty and truthfulness from a son they show nothing but content, hypocrisy and arrogance too. Dating costs next to nothing, even 15 year olds can handle the financial burden of it. They're just using it as an excuse to control you and keep you permanently in their sights.

Let me guess.......your mother gave birth to you at a very similar are that you're at now themselves yet think you're still not mature enough?

You should start playing sneaky with them. If it wasn't for the good inheritance the decision would be a simple of for me. I would leave and never speak to them again even if meant poverty. If anyone asked where my parents were I would say they were dead.

Unfortunately, that inheritance money though.......



Texasmoneyman300
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05 Sep 2021, 7:10 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Well they wont financially allow it because they dont think i have the liquid money for a dating site.I told my mom that I am 31 and I want to date and she told me to shut up.The DL does not apply to motorcycles or anything like that.I am not going to lie since it is against my moral code.They dont think i need to date but I think I should be allowed to date because I am 31.I live in a small town and there is nothing fun to do for a few hours.



I would seriously consider changing your moral code. Your parents have no right whatsoever to honesty and truthfulness from a son they show nothing but content, hypocrisy and arrogance too. Dating costs next to nothing, even 15 year olds can handle the financial burden of it. They're just using it as an excuse to control you and keep you permanently in their sights.

Let me guess.......your mother gave birth to you at a very similar are that you're at now themselves yet think you're still not mature enough?

You should start playing sneaky with them. If it wasn't for the good inheritance the decision would be a simple of for me. I would leave and never speak to them again even if meant poverty. If anyone asked where my parents were I would say they were dead.

Unfortunately, that inheritance money though.......

Ya Even as it is now with my parents I am debating going to a instiution but i dont want to give up on all my life's hopes and dreams and my parents would charge me hundreds a month.They just dont think I am ready to date but I disagree because I am 31.Also,My parents would prolly sell the oil company if i had to go to a institution but my mom has said lots of times that i need to be in a insitution when she is really mad.I am sorry for hijacking this thread i did not mean to.Ya if i go to a insitution i would prolly have to pay to be in nursing home.Mom is the one thats the hardest on me but they are both not fun to deal with.I just think lying is immoral.



Nades
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05 Sep 2021, 7:28 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Well they wont financially allow it because they dont think i have the liquid money for a dating site.I told my mom that I am 31 and I want to date and she told me to shut up.The DL does not apply to motorcycles or anything like that.I am not going to lie since it is against my moral code.They dont think i need to date but I think I should be allowed to date because I am 31.I live in a small town and there is nothing fun to do for a few hours.



I would seriously consider changing your moral code. Your parents have no right whatsoever to honesty and truthfulness from a son they show nothing but content, hypocrisy and arrogance too. Dating costs next to nothing, even 15 year olds can handle the financial burden of it. They're just using it as an excuse to control you and keep you permanently in their sights.

Let me guess.......your mother gave birth to you at a very similar are that you're at now themselves yet think you're still not mature enough?

You should start playing sneaky with them. If it wasn't for the good inheritance the decision would be a simple of for me. I would leave and never speak to them again even if meant poverty. If anyone asked where my parents were I would say they were dead.

Unfortunately, that inheritance money though.......

Ya Even as it is now with my parents I am debating going to a instiution but i dont want to give up on all my life's hopes and dreams and my parents would charge me hundreds a month.They just dont think I am ready to date but I disagree because I am 31.Also,My parents would prolly sell the oil company if i had to go to a institution but my mom has said lots of times that i need to be in a insitution when she is really mad.I am sorry for hijacking this thread i did not mean to.Ya if i go to a insitution i would prolly have to pay to be in nursing home.Mom is the one thats the hardest on me but they are both not fun to deal with.I just think lying is immoral.


Sorry for all my typos. The wonders of making posts in a hurry on a mobile.

This is a very nosey question, but seeing you mentioned an oil company, just what scale of inheritance are you dealing with here? I thought it would suck a bit to justifiably disown your parents and sacrifice that inheritance but perhaps I grossly underestimated just how much it would suck.

It's a thread about online dating after all too. This is still on the topic of dating.



Texasmoneyman300
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05 Sep 2021, 8:10 am

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Well they wont financially allow it because they dont think i have the liquid money for a dating site.I told my mom that I am 31 and I want to date and she told me to shut up.The DL does not apply to motorcycles or anything like that.I am not going to lie since it is against my moral code.They dont think i need to date but I think I should be allowed to date because I am 31.I live in a small town and there is nothing fun to do for a few hours.



I would seriously consider changing your moral code. Your parents have no right whatsoever to honesty and truthfulness from a son they show nothing but content, hypocrisy and arrogance too. Dating costs next to nothing, even 15 year olds can handle the financial burden of it. They're just using it as an excuse to control you and keep you permanently in their sights.

Let me guess.......your mother gave birth to you at a very similar are that you're at now themselves yet think you're still not mature enough?

You should start playing sneaky with them. If it wasn't for the good inheritance the decision would be a simple of for me. I would leave and never speak to them again even if meant poverty. If anyone asked where my parents were I would say they were dead.

Unfortunately, that inheritance money though.......

Ya Even as it is now with my parents I am debating going to a instiution but i dont want to give up on all my life's hopes and dreams and my parents would charge me hundreds a month.They just dont think I am ready to date but I disagree because I am 31.Also,My parents would prolly sell the oil company if i had to go to a institution but my mom has said lots of times that i need to be in a insitution when she is really mad.I am sorry for hijacking this thread i did not mean to.Ya if i go to a insitution i would prolly have to pay to be in nursing home.Mom is the one thats the hardest on me but they are both not fun to deal with.I just think lying is immoral.


Sorry for all my typos. The wonders of making posts in a hurry on a mobile.

This is a very nosey question, but seeing you mentioned an oil company, just what scale of inheritance are you dealing with here? I thought it would suck a bit to justifiably disown your parents and sacrifice that inheritance but perhaps I grossly underestimated just how much it would suck.

It's a thread about online dating after all too. This is still on the topic of dating.

Well I dont know how big the oil company will be.Right now its just a small 2 man partnership with a few wells.I figure i will inherit at least 5 to 10 million in a couple decades worst case but the oil company could wind up being worth a billion by the time I die or when I am 90 to 100.It does not even need to be huge.because we are trying to find flip our own own lease and that would get me 6 figures a month.Thats just best case though and hypothetical but still possible for over billion.I have a family member and he may well be on his way to be a billionaire someday and he has a private jet so it could be a lot of money one day.



Last edited by Texasmoneyman300 on 05 Sep 2021, 9:17 am, edited 3 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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05 Sep 2021, 8:14 am

Unless you’re a threat to yourself or others, you shouldn’t spend one day in an “institution.”

Kids haven’t been institutionalized for autism since the 1970s.



Muse933277
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05 Sep 2021, 8:31 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
How do people date now a days?



A lot of dating patterns occurs like this.


- Two people meet.
- Contact information is exchanged
- A friendship is formed (this step is optional)
- One person decides that they like the other person and ask them out
- The two people go on a series of dates and get to know each other to see whether or not they're a good fit for each other.
- They sleep together (some people only do this after becoming exclusive)
- The two mutually decide that they don't want to see anybody else, and decide to become exclusive (boyfriend and girlfriend)



Sounds easy right? Not exactly. The reason why some people struggle with dating is because they're having difficulties with getting past one of these steps.


For some people, their problem is meeting people. For others, the issue is actually getting people to agree to go with you. Still for other's, they don't have any difficulty with getting dates, but they just can't seem to close the deal with someone and agree to become exclusive.



Texasmoneyman300
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06 Sep 2021, 5:54 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Unless you’re a threat to yourself or others, you shouldn’t spend one day in an “institution.”

Kids haven’t been institutionalized for autism since the 1970s.

Its either that or the streets for me.



DW_a_mom
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06 Sep 2021, 7:34 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Unless you’re a threat to yourself or others, you shouldn’t spend one day in an “institution.”

Kids haven’t been institutionalized for autism since the 1970s.

Its either that or the streets for me.


I see no reason you can’t acquire enough skills and practical knowledge for your parents to see you as the adult you are. While you do come across to me as naive to the world, you have the power to change that, and that is what I would do if I was in your shoes.

One young man I know went to a special boarding school in California designed to give young autistic adults the life skills they need to live on their own. Given how worried it seems your parents get about you, have any of you ever considered an option like that?


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Texasmoneyman300
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06 Sep 2021, 7:38 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Unless you’re a threat to yourself or others, you shouldn’t spend one day in an “institution.”

Kids haven’t been institutionalized for autism since the 1970s.

Its either that or the streets for me.


I see no reason you can’t acquire enough skills and practical knowledge for your parents to see you as the adult you are. While you do come across to me as naive to the world, you have the power to change that, and that is what I would do if I was in your shoes.

One young man I know went to a special boarding school in California designed to give young autistic adults the life skills they need to live on their own. Given how worried it seems your parents get about you, have any of you ever considered an option like that?

My family does not have the money for that and I cant sacrifice my retirement and the company.Also, a special boaring school in a big city in Texas or Cali anywhere else is prolly out of the question because of lack of suitable churches.I got my dad to agree to agree give me a salary when I am 40 so i can move out so thats a big improvment.



Last edited by Texasmoneyman300 on 06 Sep 2021, 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

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06 Sep 2021, 7:41 am

I think i should prolly quit talking about the speciffs of my dating life issues in this thread because I am afraid it went off on a tangent.