Battered and Bruised from the workplace

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SharonB
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09 Sep 2021, 9:39 am

Who's in a good (more than tolerable) workplace right now? I need inspiration that it can be so.

In my 20s I was twice invited to jump off (small) cliffs (into water). Having seen or been told that others did it, I did so. The first time I got a very bad bruise and the second time I ruptured my ear drums which was quite painful. I then decided I didn't want to jump off cliffs anymore.

So fast forward to my 50s and my job search --- and I just don't want to jump off this "cliff" again. I had many good (tolerable) years in the workplace but too many bad ones. Too many times I was treated poorly as a neurodiverse woman in technology. I am battered and bruised. However, I need some more years of income for a family of 4, so I have to generate it somehow. And I like to work. My husband says the workplace still needs me - phooey that it doesn't seem to want me (us), eh?

So I need to find a workplace "cliff" that is perhaps not as tall and has less rocks. It would be amazing to find a workplace grassy field with rivulets and forest animals with shelter from the hot sun and cold temperatures.



kraftiekortie
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10 Sep 2021, 6:02 pm

I'm doing okay in my workplace. Probably because I have set responsibilities, and I don't have to work in a "team."

It seems like you're been in "middle-management" sorts of positions. If you would go into what I do, your salary would probably be reduced from your previous salaries. But your job security would be better.

I would say seek out a civil service position where you can, at first, be a "provisional." Then, take the civil service test for the job, then they'd hire you from the civil service list. Then serve 6 months to a year of probation. After the probation, your job security is excellent. You can be a weirdo and still keep the job, provided you don't do anything stupid and extreme.

If you enjoy teaching, why not be a substitute teacher? Then, you can "get your foot in the door" for a permanent teaching position (which happens to be a civil service job with excellent benefits if you work in the public schools).



SharonB
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11 Sep 2021, 9:04 am

^^ Good idea. Hmmm, income vs job security... sanity. I looked at www.usajobs.gov and see over 50 jobs in my area but not an exact fit. Could the provisional job be anything just to get my foot in the door and then I could go elsewhere within that division or even outside it? My BFF has a good job in state gov't.

I would teach if it paid above poverty level upon entry, but it doesn't for K-12 in this area. Teaching is effectively a secondary income until 10 years down the road. I need 5 more years of a robust primary income. Teaching will be good when I am semi-retired.

Thanks for the input and encouragement!

My overarching problem is that I'm behaving like I had a really bad "break up". Maybe I should post on the Relationships page and cast my previous employer as my "ex". I'm reluctant to "date" (apply for jobs) again. It seems like all the "guys" (IT groups) out there are chauvinistic. Of course it's not all of them and there is that special "guy" (workgroup), but ... harrumph. I want to find that "someone" (job) that I'm attracted to and that appreciates what I bring to the table. Harrumph. There are those books "are you my momma?" --- I want one "are you my next job?" :P



kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2021, 12:52 pm

You could also look for civil service city, county, or state jobs, in addition to federal jobs.

One problem is the sometimes monotonous nature of these jobs.



Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 7:21 am

SharonB wrote:
Who's in a good (more than tolerable) workplace right now? I need inspiration that it can be so.

In my 20s I was twice invited to jump off (small) cliffs (into water). Having seen or been told that others did it, I did so. The first time I got a very bad bruise and the second time I ruptured my ear drums which was quite painful. I then decided I didn't want to jump off cliffs anymore.

So fast forward to my 50s and my job search --- and I just don't want to jump off this "cliff" again. I had many good (tolerable) years in the workplace but too many bad ones. Too many times I was treated poorly as a neurodiverse woman in technology. I am battered and bruised. However, I need some more years of income for a family of 4, so I have to generate it somehow. And I like to work. My husband says the workplace still needs me - phooey that it doesn't seem to want me (us), eh?

So I need to find a workplace "cliff" that is perhaps not as tall and has less rocks. It would be amazing to find a workplace grassy field with rivulets and forest animals with shelter from the hot sun and cold temperatures.



What type of job title is that? Surely there’s other jobs that you can get? Ruptured your ear drums do you have auditory processing disorder now? Any job ever would be better than that. If that’s a requirement for a job then don’t do it and learn to survive without that job.



SharonB
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27 Oct 2021, 11:20 am

^^ I was/am in technical sales in Corporate America. The cliff was an analogy for being more fearless when I was young (physically and emotionally) and now I am very fearful (been hurt a lot physically and emotionally).

My therapist asked me to consider that I have an auditory processing disorder, but I never tied that possibility to the incident in my 20s. Initial (web) research indicates hearing loss is typically temporary. But not always, eh? I have wondered that my hearing difficulties are related to (diagnosed) ASD or (likely) ADHD... Thanks for connecting the incident, something worth mentioning if I go for an APD evaluation.

In my area of work, pretty much all jobs have uncomfortable work environments or social demands. I guess needing to find one that is less uncomfortable.



kraftiekortie
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27 Oct 2021, 12:53 pm

Autism/Asperger's in and of itself doesn't cause hearing loss. There are genetic/chromosomal co-morbids which might cause progressive hearing loss, though they're relatively rare.

I probably have an "auditory processing disorder." If somebody gives me directions, I usually can't remember beyond two "directions."



SharonB
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27 Oct 2021, 2:07 pm

Similar. My physical hearing is quite exceptional but sometimes I can't "hear" a person in front of me as well as I would like to. Of course background noises will do me in, rampant thoughts also.



Itendswithmexx
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28 Oct 2021, 1:46 am

SharonB wrote:
^^ I was/am in technical sales in Corporate America. The cliff was an analogy for being more fearless when I was young (physically and emotionally) and now I am very fearful (been hurt a lot physically and emotionally).

My therapist asked me to consider that I have an auditory processing disorder, but I never tied that possibility to the incident in my 20s. Initial (web) research indicates hearing loss is typically temporary. But not always, eh? I have wondered that my hearing difficulties are related to (diagnosed) ASD or (likely) ADHD... Thanks for connecting the incident, something worth mentioning if I go for an APD evaluation.

In my area of work, pretty much all jobs have uncomfortable work environments or social demands. I guess needing to find one that is less uncomfortable.



Eh waitressing is less dangerous. Maybe go see a audiologist and a speech pathologist ? Yah if your ear perforates then it could cause apd or reversible hearing loss they have those hearing aids? Cost like 40 grand. If you have apd it can affect memory,learning,emotions so probably something to look into cause you don’t want to speed up deteriorating or get early onset dementia.



Itendswithmexx
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28 Oct 2021, 1:49 am

:jester:

Itendswithmexx wrote:
SharonB wrote:
^^ I was/am in technical sales in Corporate America. The cliff was an analogy for being more fearless when I was young (physically and emotionally) and now I am very fearful (been hurt a lot physically and emotionally).

My therapist asked me to consider that I have an auditory processing disorder, but I never tied that possibility to the incident in my 20s. Initial (web) research indicates hearing loss is typically temporary. But not always, eh? I have wondered that my hearing difficulties are related to (diagnosed) ASD or (likely) ADHD... Thanks for connecting the incident, something worth mentioning if I go for an APD evaluation.

In my area of work, pretty much all jobs have uncomfortable work environments or social demands. I guess needing to find one that is less uncomfortable.



Eh waitressing is less dangerous. Maybe go see a audiologist and a speech pathologist ? Yah if your ear perforates then it could cause apd or reversible hearing loss they have those hearing aids? Cost like 40 grand. If you have apd it can affect memory,learning,emotions so probably something to look into cause you don’t want to speed up deteriorating or get early onset dementia.


Less uncomfortable uhh prioritise not getting disabled.find jobs that don’t have any risk of danger or loss or impaired functioning ? Social demands are not as bad as being physically injured ? What type of social demands? As long as they aren’t murderers ? Probably stay away from cults.



Itendswithmexx
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28 Oct 2021, 1:52 am

SharonB wrote:
Similar. My physical hearing is quite exceptional but sometimes I can't "hear" a person in front of me as well as I would like to. Of course background noises will do me in, rampant thoughts also.



Apd is kinda like audio dyslexia. Most dyslexics I think learn by relying on auditory input because they struggle with comprehending what their reading. So you may have to go slower, and have to ask people to repeat what their saying. When people talk for longer than a minute uninterrupted then you may zone out and not understand? You probably don’t have it. But anything that is causing any type of hearing loss is not worth the money. There are always other jobs. Or go back to school. Prostitution doesn’t affect your hearing.



Itendswithmexx
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28 Oct 2021, 1:54 am

SharonB wrote:
Similar. My physical hearing is quite exceptional but sometimes I can't "hear" a person in front of me as well as I would like to. Of course background noises will do me in, rampant thoughts also.



I don’t think if there is distracting music in the background that means you have apd. That’s normal. Not many people can handle and take in all that different stimuli, overpowers and the senses. Like when you start a project or clean you don’t know where to start.



Itendswithmexx
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28 Oct 2021, 1:55 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:
SharonB wrote:
Similar. My physical hearing is quite exceptional but sometimes I can't "hear" a person in front of me as well as I would like to. Of course background noises will do me in, rampant thoughts also.



I don’t think if there is distracting music in the background that means you have apd. That’s normal. Not many people can handle and take in all that different stimuli, overpowers the senses. Like when you start a project or clean you don’t know where to start.



SharonB
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28 Oct 2021, 6:33 pm

^^ It is so hard to tell what's in the normal range. I thought I was mostly normal up until my diagnosis and then it was like "The Sixth Sense" movie (a big reveal and looking back it all makes sense). I definitely got the overactive hearing going --- can't pay attention to my husband b/c there is a repetitive noise in the background which of course he can't hear. I have to ask people to repeat things three to four times if there is any background noise. I probably have them repeat it once if there is no noise. I am intelligent with excellent physical hearing and I have to ask people to repeat things. Is it that my thoughts are too fast or my auditory processing is too slow or I want to get it right? There are definitely times my listening "catches up". Most recently my daughter said something and I was about to do my usual "would you please say that again" b/c I didn't hear her, but then it came to me just as I opened my mouth.



cyberdad
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28 Oct 2021, 6:49 pm

SharonB wrote:
^^ I was/am in technical sales in Corporate America.


Products or services? Inbound or outbound? account management or new sales or both? individual or group/team?

The answer will determine how battered and bruised you get. I worked in sales in my 20s and the knockbacks and level of competition eliminates potential candidates like an episode of Squid games or hunger games. I managed 5 years starting in outbound sales for an advertising agency moving to senior accounts manager for major tech companies and educational institutions. The stress and pressure is too much even for the most extroverted confident NTs. By my 5th year I knew I had to return back to my old job in university research assistance. Money and opportunities were less but the working environment was much less stressful.