In the simplest terms, what does autism mean to you?

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To me it's endless emasculation and attacking ones competency and capabilities as an adult. Being called a choir boy behind my back by people who I always thought were warm and kind hearted was probably one of the roughest attacks on my "adulthood" I remember in recent times yet one of the most trivial to outside observers.

Simplest?
It's either just a bunch of traits, or is irrelevant to life nothing but a name.


It doesn't being me shame nor pride.
There is nothing to identify nor associate.
Only for purposes that serves me that includes as a vocabulary and a tool to communicate topics.



Lastly, at worst, a memory.
Except... There is no heartbreaks or tragedy to fixate around the word nor traits that is autism.
There is no joy nor pleasure out of it either.

Cause in the grand scheme of reality, it's irrelevant.

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Autism to me is just a different way of being. There's nothing wrong with being different. It's the life of being a Sweet Pea in a pumpkin patch and avoiding hurting peoples feelings, because I know how it feels to be hurt, even by the people who are the closest to me.

Finally understanding the things that make me the way I am.

I totally understand the negative context that people might place on Autism based on experience, and those are things I have never experienced formally. A diagnosis wasn't given to me, so I couldn't tether the experiences I had to it. But I have been called...

!!Trigger Warning!!

...odd, strange, weird, ret*d, gay, stupid, annoying, slow, lacking in common sense, that I make other people uncomfortable, creepy, and a myriad of other things that I am certain others here have experienced to some degree or another.

Having no understanding of *why* I have always been the odd one out, and why certain things seemed harder for me than for others...well, that was rough. The prospect that I may have an explanation that speaks to all of my experience is something that is a bit of a relief. Like finally, FINALLY, I know what is the cause of all this.

It doesn't fix it. It doesn't make any of it better. And I am a bit angry that it wasn't recognized sooner. But I can get the closure on an always mystifying and frustrating aspect of who I am.

That is worth quite a lot to me. Not everyone need feel the same way.

Guilty, shameful, stupid, isolated, odd, sensitive, stressy, jealous, boring, resentful.

I’ve thought about this a lot before.

Being so weird you’re disabled

General craziness

Being outside the hive mind (extreme individualism)

In all actuality, though, I don’t think autism is anything in particular. I think it’s a collection of traits, most of which are just extreme versions of normal human traits, and if you have enough possible traits that significantly impair you, or at least if a professional thinks so, you’re autistic.

I don't really know what autism means to me. I've never been good with the "what's having autism like" type questions. I've always been autistic so I have nothing to compare my experience to.

Autism stands me on the edge of "normal" society and renders me a deeper and more diligent thinker, largely unimpressed by conventional standards of behaviour unless I personally see the point. Autism means self and autonomy.

Of course that's only the core of the thing. It also means sensory issues and a slow learning curve, and a whole menagerie of curious bits and pieces.

Shutdowns

I am still learning what it means for me, but for now it means: for some things about my behavior, there is no easy fix. Some things I will never do "right." And if I honestly want to see if I can learn how to do some things "right," I am going to have to somehow (how?!?) make a serious effort by thinking about it thoroughly, preparing and practicing for it.

It also means that I am not just making excuses or avoiding responsibility when I get overwhelmed; there is a valid and inescapable reason for my overwhelm. And I have the responsibility to manage my overwhelm and minimize suffering.

To me, it means I am remarkably gifted and limited all at once. And I wouldn’t change it for the world, really.
Mostly.
On some days maybe. Haha!

Atypical processing of information, especially social and sensory.

I notice a lot other people miss and I miss a lot other people find "obvious".

Frequently getting misunderstood

Sensory overload

Vocal cord damage

Me against the world

Thanks for the replies but I can't reply to them all as most came when I was in work. For me the most noticeable ASD ever gets is in group settings and then how others treat me. Being thought of as a sissy boy manchild is probably the most irritating it gets.

My Autism just means loss of opportunities that were stolen by NTs eagerly exploiting the chance to jump in to take my place. Heavy anxiety & non-stop OCD, just a lifelong horrible experience.

I don’t see my diagnosis as an explanation of all this, simply because Autism not a real diagnosis of what is going on in my body, since it`s so heterogenic, (some autistic people are nothing like me). The day someone explains the specific problem for example :- ? gene was not functioning properly so you were unable to process this chemical which led to your symptoms ill take as a real diagnosis.