Am I overthinking things here?

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Ghulam Asadiq
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18 Sep 2021, 4:12 am

I don't have a girlfriend yet, but there's a girl who has taken an interest in me and chats to me regularly on Whatsapp. Last night, I fell asleep early and I woke up this morning to find a message from her I hadn't replied to as well as a missed video call. I normally reply to her messages or video chat straight away.

I sent a reply to her message saying I fell asleep early, but would you say missing a video chat and only replying to her message in the morning means I'm majorly risking blowing my chances with her, or is it understandable people sometimes end up not replying to a message at night until the morning?

I feel terrible for not at least waking up, replying to her but at least saying I've got to go to sleep now.


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18 Sep 2021, 7:51 am

I think that this could happen to anyone. If she makes a big deal about this, she is likely not worth the time/effort. You are a human (that needs sleep and has other obligations), not a machine.


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Minervx_2
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20 Sep 2021, 10:17 am

This is not a big deal. Nobody can expect you to answer the phone 24/7. Missing a phone call and calling back another day is normal. And sleeping a bit early at night is totally fine.

If someone is genuinely interested in you and compatible with you, they won't leave you over an extremely minor thing.

The mindset behind your post is concerning though.

You shouldn't feel guilty about missing 1 phone call; you did nothing wrong.
You shouldn't fear of someone leaving you over a very minor thing; what is causing that fear?
You shouldn't feel like you have to be on-standby 24/7 just because a girl you recently met is giving you attention.



nick007
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24 Sep 2021, 6:33 pm

Some advice I've heard from NT men & women say that you should wait a while before replying to things like that because replying rite away makes you seem too needy, desperate, & clingy. But then I also heard the opposite, that making the person wait causes em to assume your not interested in em & people also hate others playing that hard-to-get [email protected] with them. With so much contradictory stuff about this, How the hell are any of us supposed to know :shrug: You need to talk to her & see how this plays out in order to know


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Juliette
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25 Sep 2021, 1:28 pm

So long as you let her know that you would have, except that you were zapped, if she's worth your time, she'll understand. :)



Minervx_2
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25 Sep 2021, 8:14 pm

nick007 wrote:
Some advice I've heard from NT men & women say that you should wait a while before replying to things like that because replying rite away makes you seem too needy, desperate, & clingy.


This is bad advice. This advice is peddled in weird PUA/seduction communities, but that's not how normal people actually operate.



Ghulam Asadiq
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03 Oct 2021, 7:24 pm

She's since replied to me not to worry about it, and actually said sorry to me at one point for not replying to a message I sent until almost a day later. :D (I didn't mind).


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