My thoughts

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I've been single my whole life. The few companions i have are gone, either simply so or because they scammed me. I have a very basic need of affection that i cannot fulfill.

Yet i am tied to the hope that someday it will happen. Someone will click with me and everything else will be history. Even with all my blemishes and scars, somebody will se my good side and stick with me.

Is it romanticism or is it actual concrete hope? IDK but while sometimes it's easy to believe, other times it's hard to let go.

There is definitely hope, but you need to change something to get results.

If you've been single your whole life, then your current daily routine isn't working. Doing the same thing over and over again won't get you a different result.

Maybe your current hobbies are too introverted, or they don't give you opportunities to meet the kind of people you're attracted to.

You should meet new friends and meet other friends through mutual friends. See if there are any sort of events, classes, seminars, etc. near where you live. Join meetup/facebook groups.

And if online dating isn't working, change up your pictures. Have other people review your pics and profile.

Last edited by Minervx_2 on 06 Oct 2021, 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't have any social network accounts besides Whatsapp. I have social anxiety on top of normal anxiety. This seems to not be the moment for this.

Don't even talk to me about online dating. Got scammed 5000$ and i'm not eager to try that again

My responses will be blunt, but this is because I genuinely care and wanting to give you constructive feedback.

Use a social network site where you can talk to people in your local area.



You need to work on this. You can't expect things to change if you don't leave your comfort zone.

Start with baby steps. Eye contact, small talk, smile even in basic interactions like with clerks and cashiers at stores. For me what helped was meeting a friend at work who was very outgoing, friendly and confident. He inspired me to be more like that.

Are you able to find a therapist? If that's not available, find a support network of friends or join some kind of support group.




What site/app were you using? There are numerous free dating sites/apps. If you have a profile with well-taken pics, you can get matches without spending any money. But if your pictures are poorly taken (this is the case for most men), no amount of money will fix that.

Last edited by Minervx_2 on 06 Oct 2021, 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You cannot do in-person dating and you cannot do on-line dating.  What type of dating remains?

Again, this seems to not be the moment for this. I just needed some reassurance because sometimes i feel like even if i go through the hurdles it's not worth it...

You want reassurance that your situation will change without you doing anything to change it?

There is always hope but usually making hope true requires substantial effort. In case of what you describe - an effort of building some social network and meeting people. You can make it as yourself-friendly as possible but some social life has to exist to give your luck a chance.

If you're not ready for handling practical advice, I can move this thread to The Haven with its special rules. However, I recommend using The Haven only in crisis situations.