How to understand when someone is flirting

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The romantic luv mechanism is simply a ruse to prepare for procreation, using an evolutionary context.
Nature's trickery.
It is very powerful.
Avoid at all costs.

Question: Are you more emotional than rational?
Question: Do you actively search for bliss/happiness?
Question: Do you believe there is an intrinsic point to life?

^ I don't agree with that. At least first love or childhood feelings are not really sexual in nature. But yeah, a lot of people think sexual attraction is the basis of relationships.

1.I think i am 50/50 when it comes to logic/emotion.

2.I actively search for peace i guess, not a grand happiness.

3.ı think there is a point to my life yes, and i create this meaning myself. I think everyone is like that, everyone lives life creating their reality in some way.

"Context", my dear woman.
"Flirting" involves a sexual component, imo.

There are different types of luv, yes.




Women have a reputation of being more emotional than rational.
Women are from Venus and men are from Mars, sort of thing.

Autistic women have a greater tendency to be more rational than NT women.

This explains why some autistic women seem "cold" compared to NT women.
Many people's expectations pervert the appreciation of more rational women.



My entire focus is on emotional stability.
This is the main reason why I avoid stimulants such as caffeine.



What you are engaging in is existentialism which happens in lieu of an actual meaning in life.
I embrace it also, yes.

Sorry? I'm not clear, do you identify as non-binary? I'll assume you are talking about male friends as you mentioned girlfriends here so in that case you have a specific concern with males misinterpreting intentions so I can throw in some advice.

There is a basic algorithm in relation to biological attraction. The more physically attractive you are to men the harder it will be to maintain a platonic relationship as eventually they will not appreciate being friendzoned and move on. No amount of strategy or boundary setting is going to change that for any male friends you make. The reality is that men who are in relationships can't be your "friend". Single/unattached men will move on. Those who keep your friendship will at the back of their minds hope that you will one day provide them with sex.

Female friends on the otherhand are a different kettle of fish. In theory they should be easier to make friends with. But judging from my daughter's experience in highschool, they are quite bitchy to her. She tends to hang out with males in the school yard.

Not all men.
Also, you can be a single guy on the hunt and still have a female friend who might be able to provide a "lead".
And further, having a gorgeous friend next to you increases a male's attractiveness coinage.
"He must have something going for him", sort of thing.

You have related your unfortunate experience years ago, but you could have still maintained a friendship while realising nothing was going to develop.
I suspect you felt resentment that she didn't view you as a potential partner after spending so much energy in trying to bed her engage her.
By the sounds of it, your "Princess" was out of your league physically.
Life's a biatch.



Boyz will be boyz. But being in touch with reality will mitigate the genetically coded stupidity.

@Pepe: I know about the Greeks' four types of love. You are right in this context, flirting mostly includes sexual interest.

I also know about the Baron cohen theory and the men-Women gender difference theories but i don't believe in them. My aspie father is in some aspects a lot more emotional and irrational than my perfectly nt Mother. My Mother despite being perfectly functioning socially is.. Def. Not a illogical person. If anything she is too logical for her own good and even for my dad and me! (pretty sure my dad and i are both aspies)

Although i guess processing and being able to regulate emotions are harder in autistic people, but this is true for a lot of emotion- driven people too. Just because you feel something doesn't mean you can express or regulate your emotions well. I know i def. Can't.

About the caffeine thing, you might be right but it is impossible for me to get off it. I drink min 3 cups everyday, i get addicted to certain foods easily too.

@cyberdad: what you said is a bit depressing but many people i know share the same thoughts. It seems after a certain age no one has the priority of making friends, they would rather have a relationship and get married/have children.

I guess i will have to try being more distant and cold with men from now on. Or lie about having a boy friend, since that seems to work better.

I have been "just friends" with many women.

It can be a bit frustrating----but I'm a civilized man, and I can restrain my "base" desires.

If I wasn't able to practice restraint, I wouldn't be able to run the Brooklyn Bridge every day. There are some very beautiful women running there---and some of them reveal A LOT.

I don't believe "algorithms" apply to all people; I believe they only apply to those who believe in "algorithms"----almost like "faith."

I suspected you did.
I just wanted you to know I was enlightened about this also.




Those on the spectrum are known to have poor emotion regulation. I.E. Low E.Q.
Could that explain your father's emotional "wattage"?
Is he rational in other ways?
Having a family can be very stressful, especially for those on the spectrum.



Could your mother be an undiagnosed Aspie?



Agreed, as stated above.



I ordered a large coffee at Maccers, this morning.
I am full as a boot with caffeine now, as a result.
I get extremely creative when exposed to this stimulant.
You have been warned.



I vigorously disagree.
Some find having children an anathema, including myself.
Also, there are people who have been bitten by the luv bug and never want to be afflicted by "the madness" again.
You need to add the qualifier "Many/Most people", imo.




What about online friendships?
Too limited?
It is a much safer approach, though.

Question: What do you want out of a friendship?
Question: What type of people do you want to be friends with?
Question: What are the deal breakers?

Same here, though most friendships don't last, unfortunately.


More so in real life. Much easier online.


Your marathon running is very impressive. I'm sure it helped you greatly in overcoming your covid experience.

BTW, having a sexy woman in front of you would be very motivating.
Being chased by a 60 year old man would make her more motivated to run faster, too.

You seem to have a nice symbiotic relationship going there.
Unfortunately, for you, you will probably always be relegated to second place, at best.

Yeah, he doesn't always understand or control his feelings well. He is like a stereotypical aspie obsessed with science and space etc. and sees himself as a very rational and logical person but he def. Has a sensitive and emotional side my mother doesn't have.



I also though about this but she definitely isn't.
She has the social instinct and too much nt traits. She is def. a nt person that is not very emotional and sensitive or traditionally feminine.

I also met lots of feminine men and masculine women despite living in a society where gender roles are very strict. I notice that most people try hard to fit themselves into these roles despite not having the traits inherently and it depresses me.




I already had my first cup of Coffee too, No problem



Yes, i know there is a minority that is not interested in these things but it is not easy to find them.




I do have online friends and i appreciate them a lot but none of them live close and there are certain things i cannot share with them because we live in very different societies.

I guess i Just want to have a supportive person more of like a caretaker than a friend.
I feel like i am not really an adult, i am too immature and don't know what to do in certain situations. My few irl friends are the supportive and reliable type but i don't want to be a burden on them too much.

It is good to know you have online and offline friendships, even if they aren't close.

I find the concept of a "caretaker" interesting.
Personally, I'd prefer friendships.

Most people can cope well with a moderate amount of caffeine.
However, I am hypersensitive and it has caused a lot of problems in my life.
I enjoy my emotional stability enormously, now, through abstinence.

So, have you determined how you are going to overcome the problem of people misinterpreting your behaviour as "flirting"?
BTW, do you prefer male or female company?
What about skunks?

^ Sorry for the late reply i got hit by a depressive episode and can't express myself well when that happens.

I think i will Just have to settle with being seem as a cold person because i get too stressed otherwise suspecting i am leading people on.

I really don't care about anyone's gender as long as they want to be my friend. Skunks are no exception either lol.

I always have room for another platonic friend.
I have to replenish the ones that go missing.

So, how about a coffee and cake to celebrate our new friendship?
My treat.

I also love making new friends! Also coffee AND cake? I am already sold

Done!
<Pepe starts to plan the wedding reception>
Erm, I hope I didn't think that aloud.


It is at this stage that women start to run away from me.

Hahaha i can guess why