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christinejarvis21
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09 Oct 2021, 5:30 pm

I just had my 30th birthday and I've never been on a date ever. And I think I would like to, how should I start ?



Tim_Tex
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09 Oct 2021, 5:39 pm

Try finding people with the same interests, whether online or a local club.


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UncannyDanny
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14 Oct 2021, 9:29 pm

Also, try to get to know people as friends first before you want to date them or not.

This is just from my personal experience, but I don't really trust 'blind dates' and such.


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Kitty4670
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15 Oct 2021, 1:58 am

I’m 51, I never had a real date. I talked to men online, I’m on a dating site, Badoo, I’m talking to man, we met 3 weeks ago, we still friends, I love we going slowly.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Oct 2021, 8:52 am

Match dot com



GadgetGuru
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15 Oct 2021, 12:47 pm

christinejarvis21 wrote:
I just had my 30th birthday and I've never been on a date ever. And I think I would like to, how should I start ?


Not that my example will necessarily work for you, but here it is:

I made zero attempts at dating until age 30, then more or less "out of the blue" got onto dating sites (this was in 1999, and the first one I had success with was Match.com). Despite the limited success I've had doing the online dating thing, I to this day can't imagine initiating in the "real world". The multiple layers of filters that are possible online and the well-considered early correspondence via email contribute to breaking down mental barriers enough for me that once I meet IRL, it's not nearly as intimidating as it seems to do so "from scratch".

Of the 5 women I've ever dated, I ended up in long-term relationships with 4, with the current one having lasted for 12 years so far.

The one that "got away" now seems in retrospect to be VERY likely to be "on the spectrum". I was not really aware of what was then still called Asperger's, and only later realized in hindsight that she seemed to very closely match the range of behaviors that I now associate with the Spectrum. Of course, if I am Autistic, too, as I (recently) strongly suspect, then I was THEN, too, so two undiagnosed Autistic people (both of whom were depressed at the time) were unlikely to get anywhere under those circumstances...


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GadgetGuru
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15 Oct 2021, 1:03 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I’m 51, I never had a real date. I talked to men online, I’m on a dating site, Badoo, I’m talking to man, we met 3 weeks ago, we still friends, I love we going slowly.


Going slowly is in my opinion to be highly recommended.

Even when "meeting" online, our emotions can sometimes get the best of us early on, so taking more time to settle down and find common ground that lingers beyond initial attraction is a great way to avoid the disappointment that may come if you meet IRL too early.


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Kitty4670
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16 Oct 2021, 12:10 am

GadgetGuru wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I’m 51, I never had a real date. I talked to men online, I’m on a dating site, Badoo, I’m talking to man, we met 3 weeks ago, we still friends, I love we going slowly.


Going slowly is in my opinion to be highly recommended.

Even when "meeting" online, our emotions can sometimes get the best of us early on, so taking more time to settle down and find common ground that lingers beyond initial attraction is a great way to avoid the disappointment that may come if you meet IRL too early.



We met 3 weeks ago & we still talking on the day app. He saw current pic of me with white in my hair.


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christinejarvis21
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17 Oct 2021, 12:58 pm

Is Match.com a good site based on your experiences?



christinejarvis21
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17 Oct 2021, 2:04 pm

Because you can read a lot about bad stuff happening from dating sites.