Temporary high.

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There's the temporary high of getting a good score on a high range IQ test and letting people know(boasting,bragging, ego boosting) and then the rapid dive into 'imposter syndrome'. The negative self judgement. That sooner or later I'll be outed as a ' fraud'.

Why don't you allow yourself to "feel good" about getting that score? Indefinitely so.

Sounds to me like you've internalised some negativity about yourself, probably stuff other people told or implied in the past, and now repeat it to yourself even in the absence of the source.

I'm in a creative field and often do stuff just for fun. 99% of the time that work could be criticised as "subpar" in one way or another, but I allow myself to feel happy and proud of the things I do, because why not? The world's going to do its best to try to bring you down, no need to do it yourself.

It might also be good to not fall into the trap of "boasting", etc. If you like taking IQ tests, why don't you take one, note the score, and then never tell anyone about it? Just do it for yourself and your own pleasure.

Yeah….temporary highs (even nondrug ones) can lead to a permanent (nondrug) high.

Allow yourself to feel good about a high score. Make yourself some pasta and sauce to celebrate.

I always new i was smart, but its always good to have a outside authority provide supporting evidence. There's many aspects of intelligence, it's not a monolith, there's, mathematical, logical, visual-spacial, kinetic, linguistic, (social?). To get any kind of decent result you have to be somewhat good in a few of these, even though you may fail miserable in other areas.

Well, if high enough and in a form they find accepatable, I hope you consider joining Mensa. You should fit right in. And...despite what so many people think...it's not an organization to talk about how high your IQ is (that would be boring since all members have one).

firemonkey, my reactions are similar to yours. I'm seemingly never satisfied, except those temporary highs before I drop the other shoe on myself. I had a lot of shoes dropped on me as a child, so if I don't drop it on myself, my experience is that somebody else will and it hurts. I would like to stop being afraid of dropping shoes and enjoy. Thankfully I parent my children differently - so they can enjoy these things. I don't drop shoes on them (much). Wishing you can go back and enjoy the moment some more. Appreciate the goodness in that for you.

I once had a picture of myself in a (very good) swan dive that I put up by my computer to give myself a boost.

Ah, yes.
I have a lot of highs as a child.
I have a lot of it, too, as a teenager.

Mini wins and one upping.
Winning parlor games, winning arguments, outscoring in tests, outscoring in records, being in favored of, being agreed on...

In truth, this 'temporary high's are at it's core, an automatic 'comparison of who had it better/worse?' that the ego mind plays.

Resilience is just one.
Being resilient meant being able to take a hit.
Having priorities meant knowing how to dodge it.

I'm not a resilient person. However, I know where my priorities lie.

And then are other factors --
Being able to detach meant being able to let go and not let it affect you.
And then there's humbleness, which meant to having little to no need to compare and play the silly head game.

I'm not a humble person. However, I'm learning how to be able to be detached.


Well, I tried to drop the whole temporary highs thing on my way in adulthood. Trying not to be dependent on said highs.
But my SPED teacher had told me that it is sometimes needed in order to cope every hits of mistakes and faults of everyday interactions.

But I'd rather choose something more long term. So I choose untangling myself from my past -- this is not resilience nor a form of denial, this is a form of resolution.
So the memory of highs and lows would stop hitting me on the face whenever it comes up.

And it took me some years. Some memory needed years, some don't.

To prevent it from happening all over again, I have to learn to be detached -- it's not a form of numbing, but a form of internalization that do not end up in a form of weight being lugged around or a form of injury.

It's not easy for me.
One would had to know and acknowledge oneself emotionally -- and I dislike being emotional and had a habit of ignoring it.
Yet I'm getting there.

I'm still not a resilient person. Yet compared to many aspies, I had it a bit easier.
I was able to process certain emotions, solve it and move on entirely.

If I'm a resilient person, I'd still able to carry the damnable weight and lug it around with a limp, while being pelted around with pebbles.

No, rather I wanna know how to get the whole thing off my back, rid of the damn limp, catch those pebbles and throw it back.

And I'm good at directing my own emotional priorities.
However, it is not without flaw. I still misperceive, or be caught in a moment, or that emotions are simply too fast and sudden.


Yes, this is weird talk. Except not -- it's really how I think about this sort of topic.



As for your case?
I don't have any advice.

Only that emotions are messy. Memories are funny. And the ego and the idea of self is weird.


Had this been like 10+ years ago, I'd be able to relate.
Minus the imposter syndrome -- mine instead is just filled with pride and indignation, frustration and anger over guilt and shame.

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IQ is more a predictor of potential, rather than of achievement.

It's not like you've done NOTHING.....

You've accomplished things, my friend.