Realizing childhood friends might've been autistic

Post Reply New Topic

After my comparatively late (35) diagnosis, I reexamined big chunks of my life to see how autism might have affected things without me realizing it. I pretty quickly realized that I had at least one friend who could've been autistic.

I had few friends when I was a kid, and virtually none in my own age range. Like many of us, I was the "weird" kid who couldn't connect with others. But I did have one exception in elementary and middle school.

He was as clingy as I was, had significant sensory issues, and was socially oblivious to an even larger degree than me. Emotions and relationships were really difficult for him, so he had to express himself in unusual ways. He used to run up to me, yell, "I hate you! You're my enemy!" and then hug me as hard as he could. When I hugged him back he'd flinch away and tell me, "You're not allowed to do that."

Neither of us really understood relationships, and having one at all was challenging for him. So we pretty much just scrapped all the time. Grappling like that seemed to be the only kind of physical contact that didn't hurt him.

Looking back, I'm astonished the teachers let us do it. I think it must be because 1) their jobs were easier if the weird kids made themselves each other's problem, and 2) they knew we wouldn't *really* hurt each other. And we didn't, not even during the rare times when we actually were mad. He was the most frustrating person I'd ever met, but back then I still liked to pretend he was my brother.

Is this common? Did anyone else realize that their friends, past or present, were autistic after their own diagnosis?

When I learned that I was assessed for autism around 11 and started learning more about it I started noticing traits in my friends. Eventually I wondered if a few of them were legitimately autistic, especially the ones that sometimes talked about masking and stuff like that.

Not me. I practically shutdown to a certain point in a burnout during my diagnosis just to notice anyone else.

Yet as a child, I already knew how to see ND like traits in others -- without being diagnosed in the first place.

So I don't need to look back and realize some kids I met are ND because I already knew. And do not care still.

I never cared whether how odd they are or not.
All I ever care is that if that person bothers me wrong or not.


But I do wonder the reverse -- I wonder if my childhood friends realize I'm not NT?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I just fit in just enough not to standout too much. there was good kids and troublemakers. I gravitated to the latter. It was all bout gettin into fights and showing how "hard you was" , proving yourself on the playground, real dumb male stuff, i just tagged along, but my delinquent childhood friends probably did think i was an oddball. the country i come from, at the time, nobody really had a clue about autism.