Seeking fresh perspectives from new WP members.

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Can we please reassess this discussion-thread esp. the first few posts?

My concern here is that doubt and cynicism here on WP too easily becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - which yields that cycle of negative feedback loops.

Quite a few of us on WP are acquainted with people we can trust - who are receptive to contribute to.........this disc. thread.

It's difficult enough to understand HFA. It's even more difficult, and discouraging to both newer, and older WP members alike to read yet another discussion thread ladden with doubt, misunderstanding, and even sarcasm.

In short, the very people who might understand, and best serve adults with HFA are discouraged from otherwise contributing to WP - in effect continuing that cycle of negative feedback loops - a self defeatist prophecy of sorts.

The purpose of this disc. thread is to "break the ice" to boost and encourage positive feedback (a rarity which too often gets lost in the shuffle) - to be proactive to better serve HFA adults! Got it??

I am autistic and I also have 2 autistic adult children, one of whom is reliant on me for advocacy and support to a large degree. I was my autistic mother's caretaker for 8 years at the end of her life, managing her money, helping her get care, taking her to the dr, shopping, etc etc etc.

Many members here are the sort of people doing the things that you are asking about.
We don't necessarily shout from the rooftops that we are here, or that we serve others in these ways, but there are many members, long term members too, who serve these functions for others. Many of us have the support of family members, of friends, of community groups, etc. as well. Are you asking to hear from spouses and relatives and those in support groups, etc? It is very difficult to understand exactly what you are seeking in these open ended posts asking for more information. Specific detailed questions will gain specific detailed answers.

Are you asking for input from advocates and caretakers of those who are autistic?

Your questions tend to be broad generalizations and it is often difficult to understand what sort of input you seek.
If you become very specific about the things you want to discuss or the questions you have, perhaps you will get better response to your questions.

To best answer:

My focus here concerns HFA adults who are largely independent. From my personal experiences, it's rare that third-party services are needed on complex consumer issues - such as transactions involving motor-vehicles, and rental units. When a third-party presence is necessary, consultations are best treated like professional services we all need to periodically consult. Trusted friends/family can recommend trustworthy professional services. In a sense, being proactive!

* As for developing and maintaining friendships, I'm considering a discussion thread similar to the 'Seeking Fresh Perspectives from New WP Members' in the 'Social Skills and Making Friends' Forum.

* As for trusted relatives, many people have relatives that live a distance away out of state. For many of us, it's not possible to relocate out of state.

For people who might need to, and are able to relocate distance away to live in proximity to trusted relatives, make it clear up front to family that you have sufficient finances, occupational opportunities, and intend to reside in your own apartment.

Since, the Autism Spectrum is often hereditary in families, it's possible to have relatives who are HFA who can function independently, whose experiences are relatable, and helpful. Any relatives receptive to ............this WP discussion thread?

* As for support groups, this is a tough one. One WP member located in the New York City Region favors self-advocacy. Self advocacy is fine to a point, yet, as mentioned earlier, a third-party presence is sometimes necessary in complicated consumer transactions (remember, even NTs sometimes need those third-parties to act on their behalf).

By the very nature of support groups in New York City for adults with HFA, is "the buddy system" a key topic often discussed at support-groups? After all, HFA adults might need a reliable "buddy system" to navigate such a chaotic city!

Can support groups offer third-party support if groups members are unable to self advocate, or are unable to enlist a private party to act as a "third party" in navigating complex consumer matters?

* One example: AANE.org in the Boston Region seems to provides examples of best practices appropriate for HFA adults: https://www.aane.org/resources/adults/

For the WP members who are the sort of people doing the things that I'm asking about, bring this discussion-thread to their attention - in order to save people concerned with HFA the time in scouring WP (only to be reminded that HFA is an elusive topic to comprehend)!

I think what I am understanding from your post above is that you are looking for a way to find help finding help... a mentor, support group, advocacy group who can act as guides and info sources to consult when seeking support on any life issue. I have read this as a repeated request from other autistic adults. We know there may be help out there, we know there are agencies that may help us deal with any situation, housing, transport, medical, social issues, work related problems, legal problems. We just seem to struggle with figuring out how to contact those agencies and what to do to get the actual help we need. Many of us are looking for a sort of clearinghouse/guide/contact that will help us connect to the actual sources of help we need. Is that the sort of thing you mean? One place we can go to get advice on how to proceed with any of our life problems. A sort of connection to get us started on the "how to" or executive function end of the business of life . If we had somebody who knew the systems and how to hook into them, it would be a great help, wouldn't it? If we had somebody who had the right phone numbers, the right web sites, the right names and addresses of individuals or agencies who could help us get what we need, that would be great, right? I think that is what you mean??? Did I "get it"????

I don't think that effective mentors would be likely to have the time or the need to be reading WP.

Never any such person in my entire life.  I did it all on my own.

As I've mentioned, bring this discussion-thread to the attention of people who have interests in being acquainted with HFA adults.

This discussion thread seems to be that rare discussion thread which quickly conveys the complexities of HFA. Hence, this discussion thread might very well be an "ice-breaker of sorts!"

Yes, this is what I mean!

I'm anticipating similar responses - yet with specific, concrete resources, and experiences which might just prove beneficial!

While I am glad you are trying to get resources and locations for those places to help us on the spectrum the truth of the matter is that for the majority of areas there is no agency, coaches, support groups, that are there to help us on the spectrum(I use to live in a town like that). If there are places like that they tend to be mediocre at best and sometimes worse than not having those resources available to you at all.

There is also the sad reality that many of those agencies cost money which many on the spectrum don't have the money to pay for said services and they also don't have the money to move to a place with the needed services. And as earlier stated in the thread, those that do these services usually do not have the time to go to forums and search all over social media to find people that are in need of help.

An important point needs mention: As mentioned, when a third-party presence is necessary, consultations are best treated like many professional services, services which are surprisingly affordable (esp. over the longer term).

Professional services appropriate for independent HFA adults are very similar to the services many NTs use. After all, even NTs sometimes need a third-party presence in the more complex consumer transactions esp. in a more confusing, complex world!

Like locating any trustworthy professional services, support groups with many HFA members might contract with professional services, and hence make recommendations to specific services. Family friends, and family alike can also recommend trustworthy professional services.

80% of the autism population is either underemployed or unemployed which means they are usually not independent. The numbers might have gone down(though I highly doubt it with COVID going on). "Trustworthy" is subjective because what one person trusts another may not. I'm saying all this because while your intentions may be good, realistically what you are looking for is a very small percentage of the population at large and you would have to do some hard research to find a suitable sample size for what you are trying to accomplish.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to this. There is no one person or agency that would know all of these things that were mentioned and be able to point every person with autism in the right direction. It's just not a feasible thing of humans in general.

Granted, positive experiences, results, etc. are more of the exception rather than the rule - "the just average, so and so same old, same old" experiences are most common - better than negative experiences, hence not bad starting points to encourage progress!

Specific resources (again best treated like consultations with professional services) are not a one-size fits all. Remember, let's draw parallels to the successes of NTs (even of average means) in consulting with services.

I have mentioned that doubt, cynicism, etc. etc. concerning HFA, and hence reflected here on WP, too easily becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; which yields that cycle of negative feedback loops.

The purpose of this thread is to break those negative feedback cycles - that is however far, and few in-between those positive experiences, post these experiences. Just by posting these experiences, it's very likely these experiences can be expanded!

Let's start somewhere!!

ADDENDUM: On enlisting professional services regarding consumer-related issues: Anybody experienced with consumer law attorneys - to, for example be present during motor-vehicle transactions? What about attorneys specializing in the legalities of property law regarding rental property issues?

The purpose is enlist legal services to avoid difficulties down the road - to be proactive, and avoid difficulties which end-up costing the most in the end!

This discussion-thread has the potential to progress - yet, I'm uncertain as to how those concerned with HFA adults (here on WP) want this discussion thread to progress?

You started it, so you decide.

I have noticed you and Mona have tried to start threads like this one before and I have offered to bring in my perspective which has met (rather ironically) with negative feedback.

Two little pieces of advice (and I promise that'll be it)
1. There isn't a lot of NTs here, when one volunteers to explain things to you and Mona please appreciate that their intention to is pass a different perspective (not to cancel yours)
2. The persistent need to conflate autism advocacy with exclusively "HFA" is disingenuous and counterproductive. The people you are trying to attract are too busy to get involved in your projects or Mona's because they are too busy and have lives outside of this forum. Many regular posters on this forum wouldn't necessarily classify themselves as HF more like moderate functioning.