Dating a virgin for the first time.

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She's very nice but her anxiety and implying she wants to wait until years before she loses her virginity is the elephant in the room that can't be ignored. It'll be a deal breaker for me.

You didn't really answer my question about how you feel about each other. If you really like each other then you should just hang out together and avoid the topic about sex for a couple of months. If you develop really strong feelings for each other then you'll be ready to revisit that. Otherwise you'll admit it's not working out. Clearly an unusual situation but if she wasn't attracted to you, she'd already be gone from your life. I would go so far as to say you seem to be doing the one thing most likely to push her away. Yes it's a problem but I think it can be deferred for a while.

I would say that you two should also talk about sex a lot during this time, because you don't want to invest a lot of time in a relationship, only to find out you are sexually compatible months down the road. Talk about it regularly and find out if she is into what you are into sexually to. It may be hard for her to know if she is still a virgin, but I guess that's the best one can do in this case?

I try to avoid it too much. She seems to duck and dodge any convo of it and so far hasn't showed a glimmer of sexual interest in men. Were about ten dates in now and it's about time people usually start showing interest of some sort. She explicitly said she doesn't really know what she's into as she's had no experience before but also said she's into trying "everything". It's a bit strange when combined with her avoidance of the subject.

I'm still seeing her at the moment but it's hit a big stumbling block. She's providing no feedback at all and her habit of remaining quiet between dates (literally silent) isn't really improving. Feels like it's completely stalled really and it's hard to really get any closer due to how quiet she is.

I know it gets tiring meeting new people and trying again, but it's time to move on and try again.

Even I can tell from a distance that there's no chemistry here.

I spent way too much time on a quiet guy a few years ago. If I just give him time, I thought. Phah.

Anyway, turns out he wasn't that into me and I was a stop gap. Could be she's not that into you, but she just likes the attention and the idea of having dates. You're not the one, she's not the one. This isn't it.

I've spoken to a lot of my female friends about this particular situation, they told me to run for the hills and they think she's leading me on. Still vague answers or better yet dodges them completely, still avoidant of watching good movies if they have anything remotely sexual in and seems completely disinterested in speaking to me between dates.

She even called me "rude" yesterday after I asked to meet up with her once she finished watching a movie with her friends.

You're right too, I do have distain for people who might be leading others on and rightly so. I can hardly give such people a pat on the back assuming she is doing that at nearly 30.

Ghost her for a week and see what happens.

Well something bad happened today. I needed to get a covid pass for the cinema as we planned to go today. I sent a crystal clear picture of my passport to the NHS website and it was rejected. After telling her I wasn't able to go and see the movie I told her she can go ahead and see it herself as the tickets were prepaid and I can meet her afterwards near by. She said she would go and see it with a friend instead and she messaged me saying that such an offer was "rude". I just ignored this assuming it was crossed wires or something or at least text messages crossing over at the wrong time.

An hour ago she said she was "pissed off" because she couldn't find a friend to go with. I told her I still offered to go and visit her at that location and should have told me but she didn't respond to that message. It still would have been a nice date without the cinema.

Anyway, I told a friend about this and she said "Seriously just stop chasing someone who doesn't give a f**k. It's pathetic"... her exact words, not mine and I'm begging to agree. My friends are warning me about her now. She just doesn't seem interested in men any further than dates and kissing.

She also seems to have gotten a little bit hostile when I said I was expecting some sort of feedback as to her sexual preferences after three of four months. She's honestly the only woman I've met in my entire life to not show a glimmer of sexuality at this stage.

I actually blocked her for a week too now and I made sure I told her. It's the very first date with a hiccup, one that was outside my control and one that I offered to still show up to but not at the cinema....she still didn't like it but it grated on me for the last couple of hours and I couldn't be arsed with justifying my "mistake" of a NHS Covid bot refusing my crystal clear photo of my passport and driving licence.

My friends are turning against me too for still carrying on with her. They haven't really held back the punches in what they think of her and I need to be seen as putting the foot down now though I think she can't really be helped.

She just doesn't seem interested in guys full stop.

When I was in my 30s I had a lot of "female friends" who gave me advice on dating. It's not until many years later that it dawned on me why would single girls tell you "you are a catch" but not want to date you themselves?

Please extricate yourself out of the friend zone. Hunting girls is a one-man job.

They're all in stable relationships themselves and have been for years. Though I must admit, advice from single women can be extremely dubious at times. You've actually both brought up and eloquently articulated the biggest problem of men seeking dating advice from women. Put simply....it's utter crap if they're the type of women who want to spare you feelings. One female friend in particular I asked called me all the names under the sun for carrying on with that lady. "Idiot, pathetic, moron" you name it. I learned not to ask my very long term female friends for advice because they always tell me what I want to hear and never what I need to hear.

That completely aside...she seems a bit lacklustre at best anyway. What a sudden turn around in her behaviour once I deviated from toeing her exact line. Jesus.

It's weird because I never had female friends who were in stable relationships. The female friends I had were "in and out" of short term dates/one night stands. Females who were in stable relationships tended to mx with a closed circle of friends who were also in stable relationships in my experience. This is probably understandable because "me time" is primarily with the B/F and close girlfriends who also have B/Fs who they can share/relate.



No brainer.

This is the reason why I listened to the one who called me "pathetic" the most. She has a PhD, bought a nice house in the city, looks stunning and calls me horrible names every time I behave weirdly. Shame really considering I had several more than just friends offers from her a while ago. We did meet on POF after all. Now we just trade cat pictures all day.

I've given up on asking my other friends unless they're to critique people other than me.

I assume this one is taken? do you know her intent behind calling you "pathetic" is she trying to motivate you using reinforcement?

Yip taken though she has expressed discontent with her current partner but I'm not really one to intrude unless they officially break up. We have discussed from time to time how we might perform as a couple too.

Her intent is simple too, she's a doctor, looks hot and is Polish so she drips with confidence and is more than happy to maul anyone including me. Regardless of her regular savaging of me she's usually right about what she says as unpleasant as it might be. We can't stand each other but wouldn't know what to do without each other too. She also has an adorable new kitten to contrast her abrasive nature.