Perceived sexual threat Unfair or not?

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You're also not the only one who makes them and after awhile they start to smear together.

Good point.  It is hard to tell one member's threads from another's when they all address the same topic.

Last edited by Fnord on 20 Oct 2021, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just because someone's judgement is incorrect doesn't mean that their judgement was unfair.

Just cos they don't know you personally doesn't mean that their judgement is rooted in "ignorance".

Seems like it'd be easier to just try to be less creepy.

As easily as you snapped at Fnord with that kind of hostility, I can't help but feel that you've probably snapped at others like that too. If you behave in such a hostile way, then you can't really blame women for feeling unsafe around you, since you DO in fact act hostile, regardless of what excuses you shovel in to justify it.

At what point do you get mad enough that you accidentally hit them unintentionally, from all this unintentional angst you've built up? How are they supposed to know the difference between a harmless yet hostile guy, and a harmfully hostile guy? The line gets really thin there.

Don't blame others for being wary of your questionable behavior.

Even if a woman (or group of women) only sees him snapping at another man, he will quickly gain the general reputation of a man who cannot control his temper, and that is not a good reputation to have when trying to "get a girlfriend".

The problem is that for every 100 creepy harmless men, there is that 1 creepy man that will cost a woman her life. (These statistics are random hypothetical numbers).

It's safer to err on the side of caution. Even if the risk is very small, the gravity of that risk makes it impractical.

Also this woman ^^^ sounds like she is best avoided. She sounds unstable and unpleasant, and like someone you would not enjoy having in your life. Her crazy behavior is on her, it's not your fault that she is irrational.

The OP hangs out in bars too much.

Women like the one who yelled at him are probably drunk and angry people.

I have been called (only by other men) pedophile before.

Do you still hang around the same places as those other men?  If so, it could explain your lack of popularity.

Well since covid I dont really see them at the pub anymore.

Once a rumor gets started, it is almost impossible to stop its spread.

For some reason, I sense that James is a glutton for punishment.....

Ugh.

I'm sorry you are struggling, but your reaction to rejection only makes you seem all the more creepy. You are not entitled to any woman's (or any person's) time or attention. It isn't out of ignorance that you are being rejected.

A LARGE portion of women have been sexually assaulted and the majority have at least experienced sexual harassment of some kind. Through these horrible experiences, we develop a running catalogue of behaviors/patterns that we use to keep ourselves safer. Your behaviors/mannerisms may just be setting off red flags for some women.

If you are actively seeking out a date/relationship: have you thought about going about this in a different way? Maybe a dating site where you may be able to find a suitable match and get to know each other well before meeting?

what kind of rumour would that be then?

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Okay but I dont get why they would be nasty and want to spread rumours about me?

I'd never do that to anyone

Why do people usually hang out in bars all hours of the day?

Because they don't succeed in other areas of their lives, and they take it out on everybody other than themselves.