Prefer to write or to talk with the mouth?
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
And I see, that this is a central problem in our house, because there is not really a common kind of communication with such ones, who really prefer to write.
Maybe you have some inspiration for me to solve the problem or find such ones really prefer to communicate by text like myself, which is our concept?
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ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
I think, it would be good only to have people with the same nature living together in a house. I experienced people with by-mouth-nature as dominant, ignorant and aggressive in this communication-point. They always talk by mouth with others of their nature and build by-mouth-groups which do not act fair related to this with write-nature.
So I think hardly about how to find this people with write-nature. But there are no broadly known words for that?
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
I can't do one without the other. I think and talk at the same time and my responses are quick. Writing can be more organized but talking is more efficient and can be socially rewarding. Sometimes I talk to people on my home phone while texting them on my iphone. I can send them pictures, links, answer any questions they have by googling. If what they talk about is really boring I can text other friends with my iphone. Doesn't everybody else do those?
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AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
I do not think, this is correct. But there are ways to communicate very inefficient following both.
I think this feeling is a big problem for us. And I do not feel this way myself, not bound to the physical body. So I ask again: What ideas do you have to find people who feel not this way and feel written communication as emotionally nearer to the others.
Yes, today many do so. But maybe I do not understand why the same people then feel "more rewarded" with body-contact to others.
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
To write is verbally too.
Do you ever thought about living with other Autistics? Are there Autistics who prefer to write searching actively for a place to live (with the body) with others, who understand the own nature?
I hate trying to talk things. I do it poorly and I know it! My efforts all fall short and after my best efforts, they are always poor to awful. Public speaking is horror. I try to keep my talking to small groups, max 3 persons includung me!! White boards are awful for their smell, touch weirdness & eye stinging properties. Can you make them go away please . . . forever!
I do not think, this is correct. But there are ways to communicate very inefficient following both.
I think this feeling is a big problem for us. And I do not feel this way myself, not bound to the physical body. So I ask again: What ideas do you have to find people who feel not this way and feel written communication as emotionally nearer to the others.
Yes, today many do so. But maybe I do not understand why the same people then feel "more rewarded" with body-contact to others.
I'm stoked that someone actually read my post and disagree. What fun!
I guess I'm old and still prefer to be more "in person" with others. I want to connect to people, exchange ideas, share news and gossips, give advice...etc. If I can touch a family or friend I would hug them tightly, feel their hair and skin and smelling their scents. My heart glows when I can "feel" another person. Everyone seems beautiful when you spend time with them. Zoom is not the same. Text is not the same. They're better than nothing but can not replace real time communications and touching.
I have quite a few introverted people in my family. They don't have the same needs as I do, but enjoyed attention and hugging nonetheless.
_________________
AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
When I talk, I often draw many blanks. I get scared. Anxious. Freeze up. And feel overstimulated and awkward. And probably other feelings. So do some of my ASD friends.
We are all very, very different. But I am not a talker. I am more “telepathic” if that makes sense.
I've always wished I could just communicate via telepathy. I can speak but I just cannot express myself very well that way. It's like there's a disconnect between what's in my mind and what I can physically put into words via talking.
Not so with writing. It just feels so much easier to write for me.
55555
Hummingbird
Joined: 20 Jun 2008
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 19
Location: http://autismus.stre.unen.de
I asked, because I know there are people who think, they know good, what the others feels and don not really do. Many Nonautistics feel this way as I understand. Their "empathy" is broadly a illusion. But there also are some people, who really "see" much.
Not so with writing. It just feels so much easier to write for me.
It sounds like me so far.
I do not think, this really is a generation theme here.
It is a central problem for the community I am living in, that very often people think that their personal nature is a general human constitution, that their special nature is "real". So it is very difficult to communicate, that we are a writing community. Many people do not take this serious and then talk such way and do not stop it over the time, they escalate this attitute to a more and more aggressive behaviour.
A method I use to communicative when I'm feeling more non-communicative is to use very short messages or single words I'm more comfortable with. It works best when you've prearranged with others that those short communications mean more than just what you've said.
For example, "difficulty talking", "difficult" or just "d" can mean that you're not currently able to speak at all or speak about something specific. Depending on how you present that communication, via context and body language, it can also mean that you're having difficulty saying something you want to say and require your audience to ask and/or pose prompts that you can more easily reply to, like with simple yes/no answers that you can communicate with body language or a lack of an answer.
Perhaps another thing you could do is ask people to lend a little more weight to your requests since you can sometimes struggle so much to make them and usually only do so for more important things while just letting go of lesser things that you can live without, even though they might be relevant quality of life requests that most people would easily make.
My main method of dealing with selective mutism is to just work with what I can reasonably accomplish, and try to ignore what I can't. Also, try to convince (or if it's really important, force in whatever way you can (appropriate to the level of need)) people to treat what little you can communicate with as a lot more important since you have such difficulty saying anything, much less the normal arguing that most people seem to require before acquiescing to the requests of others.
_________________
Thank you deeply for sharing your experiences. I don't feel so alone anymore.
So I think hardly about how to find this people with write-nature. But there are no broad ly known words for that?
That is a neat 3 part problem that I like lots:
1. Building terms and words for write-nature,
2. Finding &/or making write-nature groups,
3. Finding "fair acting" folks.
I find drawn pictures to be a strong part of my "write-nature," and that "pen" tablet laptops work great for both. Its way more personality identifying than tweets and such constrained format texting.
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