How can I find out for sure?

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How can I find out for certain whether I really have Asperger's Syndrome, and if I do, how can I find out what to do about it? I don't have insurance, so I can't go to a doctor. Is that the only real way to find out?

I visited the library every day after work until I got fired, and a couple of months ago, I came across a book on autism that caught my interest. I paged through it, fascinated by this whole other world that people with autism seem to live in, but only some of it spoke to me--until I came across the mercilessly brief chapter on Asperger's Syndrome. I read about interviews, and at the end of the chapter was a list of symptoms. It hit very close to home, and I had to leave the library, as I was in tears. I felt that I had finally found out why I felt so intellectually superior to other people, but at the same time, I couldn't manage to bring myself up to their level; why I could never keep a conversation going; why small talk scared the bejesus out of me. What startled me more than the social symptoms and the high I.Q. (I've taken three tests, and my average score was 173) was the part that mentioned a couple of the physical symptoms. Bowel problems and clumsiness. I won't get into details, but I've always had what I thought was Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and no one could ever figure out why, even though I'm artistically gifted and have an excellent sense of spacial relationships, I seem to knock things over on a regular basis. Before I discovered Asperger's, I used to joke that my day was not complete unless I'd forgotten, broken and/or lost something, because I couldn't remember a single day going by when I hadn't.

My mother-in-law says that I'm just looking for an excuse to be rude to people and to avoid them, but that doesn't feel true to me. I think that if I was as antisocial as she says I am, I wouldn't be so lonely to be without people.

I would love to know how I can find out for sure, and what I can do about it. It's so frustrating to want to be with people, but to be stuck at home because of my fear of them. I don't understand the things they say, and I don't understand it when I say something and they suddenly become cold and distant. For as long as I can remember, I've been intellectually ahead of everyone, but behind in so many other ways. I behave in a way that people say is "ditzy" and scatterbrained, and I never did well in school until it was time to take a test, at which point I would just blow through it.

Am I an Aspie, or am I just weird?

I feel much the same; We blamed a fair bit of it on ADD, but it didn't accurately nail things in description as much as aspergers did. If you're in school, you could probably ask your guidance councellor what steps to take. If not, see if you can find funding to see a psychiatrist? I dunno how stuff works, I assume you're american.

I'm not American, but I am currently living in America, for better or for worse. Thank you for the advice; I'm currently a college student, and I'm not sure what kind of training, if any, the counsellors have had about autism in general, but I'll be sure to ask about that when the fall semester starts.

Your story rings very much the same for me. I've always felt intellectually ahead of people and yet behind in the social aspect.

As for whether or not you're an aspie... well, from what I've read so far, it sounds like a strong possibility. I know when I started reading about Asperger's at one point it all clicked and made sense. All of a sudden my entire life made sense. It was bittersweet. In one hand I knew there was something wrong with me, but in the other at least I know what the hell it was! It was more of a gradual epiphany for me, but it did almost make me poop myself when I realized how clear it made everything. It seems the same thing happened to you when you were reading that book about autism.

I'm not sure how to get an official diagnosis for AS. Actually, the other day I went to my doctor for a rash I had on my ankles. I was going to let my rash go away by itself, but I wanted to ask him about AS and how to get diagnosed. So when I was there I asked him. He replied that it would take a "high-powered psychologist." High-powered, I'm sure meaning expensive. So... I don't see the point in getting officially diagnosed if it's going to cost a lot of money and I'm already relatively sure I have it.

I've read on the Internet about ring finger/index finger ratios. Supposedly it's an indicator of male hormone levels. If you have high levels of male hormone then your ring finger is long in relation to your index finger. Often women who have longer ring fingers are more likely than not to be lesbians. Also, if you have AS or dyslexia, it's likely that your ring finger is longer than your index finger. This has been true in my experience. I'm certain that my father and I are the only ones in my immediate family who have AS. Sure enough, the pattern is true for me. My ring finger is quite a bit longer than my index finger. I asked to see my dad's, whom I suspect is an aspie, and to my shock, he had the same pattern. His ring finger was quite a bit longer than his index. I looked at the hands of my other family members. The rest of the people in my family are normal NTs. Very socially adept and successful. Their index fingers are quite a bit longer than their ring fingers! That put a chill down my spine.

Here's a little link about that finger stuff. I'm sure you'll find it interesting.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entre ... stractPlus
Here's another.
http://neurodiversity.com/physical_anomalies.html

Good luck man. You sound like a very intelligent and good guy. I'm glad that you may have found out something true about yourself that could serve to explain your (if I'm correctly guessing)--difficult--life. Hopefully you'll find a way to make leverage out of this newly acquired knowledge and I hope you'll stick around!

Thank you for the links; I'll check them out as soon as I'm finished replying. =P

After reading what you posted, I looked at my hands. Sure enough, my ring finger is significantly longer than my index finger.

I think I will stick around; I'm sorry to say that I'm shocked that someone actually gives a crap about someone else, but I'm glad that there are people who actually do seem to care. It seems like this site is full of that kind of person.

I'm in agreement with your statement about not bothering to get it diagnosed. I've talked to a lot of people, and aside from my mother, who has a tendency to be histrionic, everyone agrees that it's highly likely that I've got AS. I don't think I'm going to bother with a psychiatrist, especially as my trust in them has decreased quite a bit throughout my life after having been misdiagnosed time and time again. Depression, schizotypal personality disorder, bipolar disorder--you name it, they told me I had it. I've heard that being misdiagnosed many times is common among people with AS, so that goes a little way toward confirming it for me. I think I'm going to stop trying to find out whether a doctor thinks I have it and start trying to find out how I can work through, around, and with it to function better in daily life.

You may have aspergers, but may never know or ****SURE****. Isn't it enough to share experiences with so many?

Thanks for the links frankwah . I hadn't heard anything about that before - and yes, both my ring fingers are way longer than my index fingers.

Zymish, I have known that I'm an Aspie for about four or five years now - ever since I started doing research on the Internet into some behaviours that one of my little family members was exhibiting. Like yourself, and many others, I cried when it dawned on me. At last my life made sense, and I had discovered my true identity! Anyway, even though I consider it from time to time, I haven't bothered getting an official diagnosis. There just doesn't seem to be any real benefit for me to do so. I am 100% certain that I am an Aspie, and even if I could 'prove' it, it would make no difference to how NTs treat me. In fact, it would probably make things a lot worse due to their ignorance, prejudices and misconceptions.

You are right about this forum being full of people who genuinely care, so I hope you do stick around. After all, we all belong together .

Thanks for all the support, everyone. Kelsi, I think you're right; I don't see any need to go to an expensive doctor so that he can tell me what I already know. =)

Yipes! I have never heard that one.
My ring finger is longer than my index finger.

Mine too! I never heard that one either! Whats the source?

dunno about the source... but it has to do with testosterone lvls in the womb during development. i dont know how much faith i have in this system. if it were that easy to id autism... then things would be diff

Most people won't lift a finger for somebody without expecting something in return. They even try paying God off by donating money to their church.

The average upper middle class phoney won't downsize their lifestyle to help people out, they give to charity only enough so it won't be felt and knowing it's a tax write off. Look at the phoney Imas, he pretended to run a charity ranch, yet lived first class and had a nice ranch to go to and other people helping pay for it. Plus he got all sorts of attention from it, it was all about him and self promotion for Imas.

Bill Gates robbed the american public for billions and once he had more than he knew how to waste, suddenly tried to act noble. If he was noble he would have lowered his prices years ago and lived in a average house.

teachers are robbing society blind an actually running people out of lower middle class neighborhoods because of the high property taxes and forcing them back to the ghetto's, I guess they really don't care about those people's children.
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being middle aged and reading about AS a few years ago was like a giant relavation for me, I'm stuck on a planet of simple minded creatures who never had a deep thought in their lives and can be brainwashed by the more evil ones to do anything, including blowing themselves up in the name of Allah

If you are a college student you don't need health insurance - just go to the university counseling center. They'll have diagnostic tests to give you

Depending on the university, they may still charge you. Especially if you're seeking some kind of diagnosis or testing, rather than just simple counseling.

Get in with a research group!! ! Your best bet is some of the major research going on at the university levels. Plus it will be state of the art - what is the rule? Get a doc that is in his 3 - 7th year of specialty because they have the newest info? They are no fee, can give you recommendations and do genetic testing!

That is if you don't need a hard core diagnosis but just need to know what you are. To be "properly" diagnosed would mean an autism clinic that is a two year plus wait and $200/hr (five hour minimum for the first testing), no insurance taken 'cause AS is incurable to an insurance company. Or you can have fun trying to find a psych versed in AS and get him to take you on as a "physician's courtesy".

[quote="Zymish"]

After reading what you posted, I looked at my hands. Sure enough, my ring finger is significantly longer than my index finger.
quote]

Almost ALL men have longer ring fingers. It's only rare in women (theoretically), although my ring finger is longer as well.

http://www.palmistry.org/images/fing.jpg

PS, It's true, most colleges/universities offer counselling services for free or very cheap prices... you should check into it!