How long did it take you to move on?

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How long did it take you to move on from a crush or breakup?
0-2 years 43%  43%  [ 9 ]
2-5 years 14%  14%  [ 3 ]
5-10 years 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
More than 10 years 43%  43%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 21

IsabellaLinton
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06 Nov 2021, 1:17 pm

Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


You're right. That's why I don't use those terms, and I don't think of people as disposable fish either.

Never once in my life have I moved on from a relationship by thinking "Well I'll just find someone else".

If the relationship was bad then I don't want to find anyone else because I don't want to date.

If the relationship was good then I don't want to find anyone else because I miss them.

Either way it takes time.

If people do want to keep dating straight away that's great.

I just wish people didn't use cavalier expressions or allow them to become mainstream.



theprisoner
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06 Nov 2021, 1:25 pm

Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


I never liked the terms "other half" or "significant other," i find it disrespectful and degrading, i always prefer more endearing terms, like "my main biatch" or "main squeeze"


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babybird
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06 Nov 2021, 1:31 pm

I've always just walked away and never looked back.



DuckHairback
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06 Nov 2021, 2:23 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


I never liked the terms "other half" or "significant other," i find it disrespectful and degrading, i always prefer more endearing terms, like "my main biatch" or "main squeeze"


I've never known what to call my ................ We've been together for 18 years so 'girlfriend' seems inadequate, but we're not married so wife doesn't work. Partner seems too businesslike, other half isn't right, significant other? No.

There doesn't seem to be a word for it.



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06 Nov 2021, 2:25 pm

I call my lover "My Lion". He likes that. I'm his lioness.



funeralxempire
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06 Nov 2021, 2:28 pm

I'll let you know when it finally happens. :oops: :cry:


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Nov 2021, 2:35 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


I never liked the terms "other half" or "significant other," i find it disrespectful and degrading, i always prefer more endearing terms, like "my main biatch" or "main squeeze"


I've never known what to call my ................ We've been together for 18 years so 'girlfriend' seems inadequate, but we're not married so wife doesn't work. Partner seems too businesslike, other half isn't right, significant other? No.

There doesn't seem to be a word for it.


I agree with you!

My brother has been living with a woman for years. She has an engagement ring but they're not going to get married. I never know what to call her. Girlfriend sounds wrong because it makes it sound like they don't live together. Wife is wrong because he doesn't call her his wife. Partner sounds weird because he actually does have business partners and we call those people his partners. Fiancée sounds wrong because it gives an impression they're planning a wedding. SO is just weird -- I've never liked that when used to describe a specific person (as opposed to a general term in sociology).

There's a good quote about it in Six Feet Under: "I prefer the term fkkk puppet ... " :P 8O



Descartes
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06 Nov 2021, 3:11 pm

I"m usually able to get over a previous flame once I've met someone else, which takes about a few months. :lol:


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06 Nov 2021, 11:27 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


I never liked the terms "other half" or "significant other," i find it disrespectful and degrading, i always prefer more endearing terms, like "my main biatch" or "main squeeze"


I've never known what to call my ................ We've been together for 18 years so 'girlfriend' seems inadequate, but we're not married so wife doesn't work. Partner seems too businesslike, other half isn't right, significant other? No.

There doesn't seem to be a word for it.



Doesn't the word love or love of your life work?

Also, Fnord, you mentioned how women who dump you sometimes still make contact with you. Well, having done that myself, I think that's just them wanting to stay as good friends. Like, wouldn't it be doubly bad, if you lost not only the love of your life, but also your friend?



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06 Nov 2021, 11:37 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I'll let you know when it finally happens. :oops: :cry:


Aww, I hope you will find the one who you're actually meant to be with :heart:

I, myself, still miss my crush, even though they cut off all contact for a while. :cry:

But I don't try to (artificially) find anyone else, because what if we're actually meant to be?

I try to cope by just trying to live to the fullest, and whatever happens happens..

BTW, how did you find out you're non-binary?



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08 Nov 2021, 11:40 pm

babybird wrote:
I've always just walked away and never looked back.


In terms of relativity, me too.


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rse92
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09 Nov 2021, 4:58 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


You're right. That's why I don't use those terms, and I don't think of people as disposable fish either.

Never once in my life have I moved on from a relationship by thinking "Well I'll just find someone else".

If the relationship was bad then I don't want to find anyone else because I don't want to date.

If the relationship was good then I don't want to find anyone else because I miss them.

Either way it takes time.

If people do want to keep dating straight away that's great.

I just wish people didn't use cavalier expressions or allow them to become mainstream.


You’ve averaged over 28 posts a day here every day for four years. When do you find time to date?



kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2021, 5:07 pm

I can be on WP a total of 2 hours, and still produce 28 substantive posts.



IsabellaLinton
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09 Nov 2021, 6:53 pm

rse92 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fnord wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
... I'm sure your exes don't appreciate being compared to "replaceable fish" who can be thrown back in the water or forgotten when someone better comes along.
I am equally sure that most men do not like being referred to as "Baby-Daddies", "Starter Husbands", or "Mr. Right-Now" either.


You're right. That's why I don't use those terms, and I don't think of people as disposable fish either.

Never once in my life have I moved on from a relationship by thinking "Well I'll just find someone else".

If the relationship was bad then I don't want to find anyone else because I don't want to date.

If the relationship was good then I don't want to find anyone else because I miss them.

Either way it takes time.

If people do want to keep dating straight away that's great.

I just wish people didn't use cavalier expressions or allow them to become mainstream.


You’ve averaged over 28 posts a day here every day for four years. When do you find time to date?


Is that for me? lol

I don't work, so I have lots of free time. Most of my relationship was during lockdown so we couldn't even see each other for a lot of that. But I do just fine, thanks!



funeralxempire
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09 Nov 2021, 7:19 pm

Substantially_Abstract wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I'll let you know when it finally happens. :oops: :cry:


Aww, I hope you will find the one who you're actually meant to be with :heart:

I, myself, still miss my crush, even though they cut off all contact for a while. :cry:

But I don't try to (artificially) find anyone else, because what if we're actually meant to be?

I try to cope by just trying to live to the fullest, and whatever happens happens..

BTW, how did you find out you're non-binary?


I'm not so sure it's something one finds out so much as finally admits to.

I'm not so sure there actually one a person that one is meant to be with; I think healthy, fulfilling relationships involve both partners making an effort towards things working well.

I'm sorry your crush is treating you like that, they don't really sound like they deserve to still be your crush.


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10 Nov 2021, 11:53 am

I didn't move on from my 1st breakup till I got my 2nd girlfriend 8 years later. I was majorly obsessed with her while we were together & after our breakup till I got my 2nd gf. I was majorly obsessed with my 2nd gf as well but I somehow managed to get my current girlfriend very shortly after my 2nd breakup. I still love both my exes but I accept that things are over & we're both much better off not in each other's lives. I've only had one crush & I was majorly obsessed with her as well. That crush started like 12 years ago when I was single & majorly lonely. The crush went away for the half a year I had my 2nd girlfriend but came rite back after our breakup. It went away again for like a year after I got my current girlfriend but kinda came back but not as strong. My crush very likely literally has no clue I even exist & I can accept not ever having a romantic relationship with her but I would at least like to be her friend. For the record I am obsessed with my current girlfriend.


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