Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Should I announce my relationship with a co-worker?

Page 3 of 4 [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,504
Location: Right over your left shoulder

07 Nov 2021, 4:02 pm

hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Maybe he's scared someone will tell her she can do better. At least they don't know about the perverted things he coerced this poor girl into.


Why assume she was coerced?


He said she wasn't really into it and he complained profusely about it on this forum.


That doesn't imply that anything that went on involved coercion though.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 Nov 2021, 4:09 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Maybe he's scared someone will tell her she can do better. At least they don't know about the perverted things he coerced this poor girl into.


Why assume she was coerced?


He said she wasn't really into it and he complained profusely about it on this forum.


That doesn't imply that anything that went on involved coercion though.


You were too quick. I've just edited my reply. Coercion is a much stronger word than what I meant. I mean persuaded.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

07 Nov 2021, 5:32 pm

hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Maybe he's scared someone will tell her she can do better. At least they don't know about the perverted things he coerced this poor girl into.


Why assume she was coerced?


He said she wasn't really into it and he complained profusely about it on this forum.

Edit. I've just been reading the definition of coerced. I thought it meant persuaded strongly, but it's a more sinister word. I meant persuaded.


Oh what perverted things did I persuade her to do though? I am much more into her now than before and things have gotten better with us.



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,274
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

07 Nov 2021, 5:34 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh what perverted things did I persuade her to do though? I am much more into her now than before and things have gotten better with us.

Apologies are in order.


_________________
My WP story


ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

07 Nov 2021, 5:35 pm

Oh thanks, it's no problem. I just wondered if I mislead anyone into persuading my gf into doing things she didn't want to do.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

07 Nov 2021, 5:47 pm

You are fine ironpony, you don't seem like the manipulative type with women.



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,274
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

07 Nov 2021, 5:49 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh thanks, it's no problem. I just wondered if I mislead anyone into persuading my gf into doing things she didn't want to do.

I never got that impression. At first it seemed that you and she weren't on the same page regarding certain relationship issues. I gather that's either no longer true, although it would be unusual for you and she to completely agree on everything.


_________________
My WP story


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,504
Location: Right over your left shoulder

07 Nov 2021, 5:51 pm

hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Maybe he's scared someone will tell her she can do better. At least they don't know about the perverted things he coerced this poor girl into.


Why assume she was coerced?


He said she wasn't really into it and he complained profusely about it on this forum.


That doesn't imply that anything that went on involved coercion though.


You were too quick. I've just edited my reply. Coercion is a much stronger word than what I meant. I mean persuaded.


That's fair, I was 'quick' because it seemed like a very strong word to use and figured clarification or rewording might be in order.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

07 Nov 2021, 7:16 pm

ironpony wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Maybe he's scared someone will tell her she can do better. At least they don't know about the perverted things he coerced this poor girl into.


Why assume she was coerced?


He said she wasn't really into it and he complained profusely about it on this forum.

Edit. I've just been reading the definition of coerced. I thought it meant persuaded strongly, but it's a more sinister word. I meant persuaded.


Oh what perverted things did I persuade her to do though? I am much more into her now than before and things have gotten better with us.


I don't think you mentioned anything that perverted, but then again couple can be as perverted as they want when it comes to sex so long as both people agree to everything at least that is my opinion.

As for your thread topic, it seems like it would probably be ok if you're open about being in a relationship. Perhaps don't go around like bragging about it but if you and her are together and hold hands, it seems like that would be ok.

Also, I'd figure if she gained a supervisor position she is probably knowledgeable on what is appropriate or not for that work place and the overall sorta work culture there.


_________________
We won't go back.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

08 Nov 2021, 2:26 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Probably a moot point, but if you ever travel to Australia, for some reason willowy blonde Aussie girls loves short Lebanese men who drive noisy modified vehicles. We have a big Lebanese community in Sydney and Melbourne.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Nov 2021, 7:08 am

I had a messy office romance breakup once. Luckily, it was during the early 80s. Times are different now.

I don’t believe most women and men would rat to HR during a messy breakup…but who knows?

I made out with somebody “upstairs” in 1982. Then, she followed me home from work. Then, we had a fling. Then, she lost interest. We were in our early 20s.

I would keep it 100% chaste and professional in the workplace, and in workplace parties.

It could have gotten really messy—but, except for my 2-year obsession, nothing bad happened.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,889
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 Nov 2021, 7:17 am

cyberdad wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Is this the same supermodel lookalike lady you shoved down our throats before?


Probably a moot point, but if you ever travel to Australia, for some reason willowy blonde Aussie girls loves short Lebanese men who drive noisy modified vehicles. We have a big Lebanese community in Sydney and Melbourne.


**Setting tinder to Melbourne**

I expect the usual "Are you Italian?".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,889
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 Nov 2021, 7:20 am

babybird wrote:
That's what I was just thinking.


So we still don't know if she's the same one.



rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,086
Location: Buffalo, NY

08 Nov 2021, 4:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The problem with office romances…..is that the breakups are terrible.

She has some leverage when it comes to reporting you to HR (I doubt very much it would go that far, should you break up—but you never know). The fact that she “outranks” you puts her at more risk, though.

I feel obliged to present the cynical side, as well as the romantic side.

I hope you don’t break up, and have a nice romance.


She is a supervisor and he is not, so I don’t see where she would get any leverage from.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

10 Nov 2021, 9:20 am

Unless the leverage would be coming from somewhere else?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

10 Nov 2021, 9:38 am

She gets some leverage because she's a woman. But it is at least somewhat offset, like I said above, by the fact that she's his supervisor, though not an immediate supervisor.

In real life, people have office romances, they break up, and most often nothing is reported to HR. I've had romances and breakups--and nobody ratted me out, and I didn't rat anybody out.

The risk, though, is slightly greater now than it was in the old days.