The odds on finding love...

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interesting (adj): attracting your attention and making you want to learn more about something or to be involved in something : not dull or boring

Examples:

• This is one of the most interesting threads I have read today.
• It will be interesting to see how you respond this time.

the odds of my perfect and ideal woman existing are zero so I will have to make some adjustments.

Doubtful.

And To eat, one must first become hungry , to sleep, first must become sleepy. to get somebody aroused, must first become arousing. To stimulate an woman, one must become stimulating, to be interesting, one must be interesting. To define, one must become defining. what would we do without your words of wisdom, fnord, such wise guru to us all.

Sarcasm, being irrelevant, will get you nowhere.

I have been pointing out the obvious to the oblivious since I first became a member here.

Nobody likes answers that make them actually have to think, or work, or change. What people seem to really want is to have their hand held, and be walked through the enchanted meadow, and given a step-by-step crayon map on how to make the world change for them.

How to become interesting:

1. Find out what interests people.

2. Do those things.

Additional steps:

3. Find out what people dislike.

4. Don't do those things.

It really is that simple. Unless you start coming up with reasons why you can't or won't do those things.

No problem has ever been solved by making lists of what you can't do. Solutions always come from a pool of what you can do.

Last edited by uncommondenominator on 09 Nov 2021, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like a recipe for conformity.

"Unless you start coming up with reasons why you can't or won't do those things."

And there you go.

"Conformity" doesn't have to be an evil word...

How to become interesting (in afghanistan):

1. Find out what interests people. (fighting for freedom of my culture)

2. Do those things. (train with ak47, handle explosives)

Additional steps:

3. Find out what people dislike. (infidels, foreign devils)

4. Don't do those things. (denounce decedant western values, wage jihad )

Good Advice.

Still others seem more interested in affirming their delusions than in replacing those delusions with real-world success.↑ This.  Quoted for truth.

It is strange how something so obvious could be perceived as impossible.

Unless you have a better recipe for success -- one that actually works -- conformity is the way to go.

Do you genuinely believe that that's a full and total summation of all afghni culture and people? Or are you just indulging in a hyperbolic stereotype as the means to make actual good advice sound bad?

If people put half as much effort in to making changes as they do making excuses...

Most likely, the latter.

I like this.

Probably, though in keeping with my own advice, people don't like being told what they're thinking, so I phrased it as a supposition on my part, with an alternative option presented as well. People also don't like know-it-alls, even (or sometimes especially) when they're actually right. So I placed it among possibilities, and phrased it as a question rather than a statement, leaving them to speak for themselves.

I also don't get this hatred of "conformity", especially since the same people seem to love conformity when it means the world conforms to their desires. Conformity doesn't have to mean "YOU ALL ACT EXACTLY THE SAME, NO MORE NO LESS NO DEVIATION!" - that's that hyperbolic excuse-fuel at work again - conformity usually just serves to keep the process moving smoothly. Personally, I rather like the "conformity" of everyone driving on the same side of the road, and following the same traffic laws.

I guess I kinda get it - "conformity" is that evil monster that makes you have to do things you don't like to do. But that's life. That will always be a part of life. Life is only comfy and warm and safe when people actively work to make it that way. Life takes work. Life doesn't care whether or not you like it.

If you want to find love, you have to be loveable. You don't get to queue up "Arms of an Angel" and get Susan Sarandon to talk someone into loving you cos "you deserve love too". A charming and romantic idea that sells movies, but doesn't actually hold up in the real world. That's not love. That's obligation.

"Being loveable" doesn't mean you have to "CoNfOrM!" to a specific image of lovable-ness from pop culture. It means you have to have qualities that another person appreciates - not cos you tell them they should, but because they actually do. Hyping your self-perceived positive qualities and making excuses for your negative qualities is NOT going to make anyone "loveable". If people "don't see" how "great" of a person you are, maybe you're not as "great" as you think you are.

So, what are the odds of finding love? A lot of it is up to you.

"YEAH BUT I CANT DO THE THING AND THIS EXCUSE TOO AND MY MADE-UP ONE-SIDED DEFINITION OF FAIRNESS!"

Ok, that lowers your odds by a lot. If you didn't be like that, your odds improve a lot. Notice I said your odds improve, not your odds become good. It's still up to you, and who you CHOOSE to be.

whats doubtful about the fact that I believe my perfect woman doesnt exist?You cant get everything you want in romance and love.