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Why don't people don't understand us Aspies

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Joe90
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10 Nov 2021, 6:06 am

Dear_one wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
But it seems that everybody I meet says that I moan. But I've learnt to speak my feelings in a jokey tone, or a matter of fact tone, so that I sound less whiny, but it doesn't work. People still say I'm moaning. So how can one express that they're feeling anxious when people don't listen and dismiss you as "moaning"?


Maybe talk about your feelings about once a week, and things of mutual interest otherwise?


I'm an open, expressive person, and it's hard to bottle up feelings when you have ADHD, anxiety and depression.


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Dear_one
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10 Nov 2021, 6:22 am

Joe90 wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
But it seems that everybody I meet says that I moan. But I've learnt to speak my feelings in a jokey tone, or a matter of fact tone, so that I sound less whiny, but it doesn't work. People still say I'm moaning. So how can one express that they're feeling anxious when people don't listen and dismiss you as "moaning"?


Maybe talk about your feelings about once a week, and things of mutual interest otherwise?


I'm an open, expressive person, and it's hard to bottle up feelings when you have ADHD, anxiety and depression.


I didn't say it would come easily, I just answered your question. I knew someone who would only talk about themselves, to anyone who would listen. One day, she noticed that I'd put the phone down for a bit, and never called back. As far as I know, she's still burning through listeners regularly.



SharonB
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10 Nov 2021, 9:42 am

Joe90 wrote:
...I'm an open, expressive person, and it's hard to bottle up feelings when you have ADHD, anxiety and depression.

Joe, I'm with you on that one. I "spread myself" around. My (ASD-like) BFF is my predominant "listener". I've journaled before and even tried blogging. The more stress I am under the more "listening" (venting) I require. Self-soothing is overrated. :twisted:

Bad news: I could use more compassion; self-compassion continues to elude me. Good news: I am generally very compassionate towards others.