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Does this happen to you often?
Yes 71%  71%  [ 10 ]
No 29%  29%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 14

Edna3362
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11 Nov 2021, 10:05 pm

hellhole wrote:
^
I hear ya. Like the post was about being 'targeted' by others a lot, possibly as a way to control or shame me, hard to beleive as you say, hard to describe but we are on the same page here I think. As if said person (myself, the "I in me") was prone to feeling shame, or had insecurities, others use this as a sort of weapon to cause me such feelings (triggering or hurting my feelings), and have done this before, like I would say I am sensitive to facial expressions especially those that entail mockery, I have easily hurt feelings, it's easy for others to cause me mental distress or get me wrought in up inside.

Anyway, for instance my farther had previously said things to me that I found disturbing, like (take this seriously) he said "the combination of milk and alcohol will turn into balls in your stomach", this sounds very random, but knowing him for example it was no doubt an intent (I am 100 percent sure he knows this) to trigger shame, of that of a somatic variety (I am prone to hypochondria) , you may wonder why I would find this disturbing, but honestly the idea of having that going on inside isn't a nice thought>shame.

I digress again, a bit of a vent, I posted about this core issue on another forum and I did get some advice, which I worked on, saved to my laptop, about triggering people and psychological toughness rather than fragility. Just saying this happens so often to me which is why I made the thread. My mam says I overanalyze everything, she'd be right but yeah the working on "the self" thing I get ya. Someone mentioned Taoism as a solution, on this different forum. The vulnerable feelings inside is what makes me vulnerable to being humiliated or wound up.

I mean honestly this is less of an ASD thing and more of a "narc defenses" thing, it's hard to describe but I know due to my ASD traits, to be brutally honest, cause me feelings of shame, or buried feelings of being different, but I post here as it's relavant.

Is it narc or BPD, with backgrounds of abuse or trauma?
Was it just some form of echo and memory or was it also hormonal?
Or was it just ASD developmental delays and EF issues concerning emotional/sensory regulation, and mental/beliefs rigidity based on aversive experiences?


Either ways, it's always about this form of "intolerance".
Whatever reactivity, whatever 'trigger' from whatever past, whether real or misperceived present, whichever assumed future...
One of my goals is to put it all to damn rest.

But even a person without any labels under the sun still will get a harder time figuring it out.
Because unlearning from the conscious is not easy enough, let alone from the unconscious.


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hellhole
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12 Nov 2021, 10:52 am

Quote:
Is it narc or BPD, with backgrounds of abuse or trauma?


My signature, I suspect the disorder I have if anything is something akin to AvPD, mild borderline traits, with narc defenses on top (which are in turn partially accepted but unconsciously suppressed in the self as well). It isn't abuse or trauma related, I think it's more likely to be related the the subclinical ASD traits I have, again which I say I believe it the root of my AvPD-eske symptoms, as on some level my ASD traits are ego-dystonic in the self and non accepted. Or cause feelings of shame or self-disgust, like mild sensory processing symptoms or OCD-eske behaviors, they are buried/hidden in the self. I could go into more depth although I don't know who will understand what I am saying here. Anyway, it's beyond the point of the thread. I had spoken to someone else on reddit about it, they understood/had the same issue.

All in all, the mild bpd/avpd (avoidants are vaguely insecure and fear humiliation, for example) symptoms I have make me feel emotionally vulnerable, and so therefore make me easy to wind up. I get targeted, because I am seen as an easy target or different, the social avoidance aspect goes hand in hand with this ye.


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"Autistic traits" (atypical autism).
Normal intelligence, social and language development.

"vulnerable narcissistic defenses w/ mild borderline traits" (self-diagnosed).

Other diagnoses: Body Dysmorphic Disorder (http://bit.ly/2wlDqGU)

Our internal representation of reality: (http://bit.ly/2BJuj5o)


y-pod
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14 Nov 2021, 7:05 am

The only person who can wind me up is my mom. Unfortunately I can't avoid her. She's not trying to be mean, but just being herself is enough to drive anyone crazy. I can diagnose her with all sorts of personality disorders plus stupidity, but it's probably not her fault. I think I tolerate everybody else pretty well, including some crazy friends. You know I found that annoying people tend to go far in life, because they just wouldn't let go. You just gotta accept these people because they're everywhere.


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TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB
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14 Nov 2021, 8:34 am

y-pod wrote:
The only person who can wind me up is my mom. Unfortunately I can't avoid her. She's not trying to be mean, but just being herself is enough to drive anyone crazy. I can diagnose her with all sorts of personality disorders plus stupidity, but it's probably not her fault. I think I tolerate everybody else pretty well, including some crazy friends. You know I found that annoying people tend to go far in life, because they just wouldn't let go. You just gotta accept these people because they're everywhere.


@y-pod

What kind of jobs can annoying people get to go far in life?

Which job requires someone to just not let go?



SharonB
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14 Nov 2021, 11:24 am

My (NT) husband knows to warn me if he's going to tease me. My ASD daughter does not like teasing either.

Teasing is like touch. I can tolerate touch and teasing if I am relaxed. If I am stressed (too often), then I can't. Generally when my husband teases me it feels awful (I want to strike something) and I can be agitated for a long time afterwards whether I want to be or not.

On the Netflix show "Atypical", the ASD young man's sister often teases him (moves his stuff). He said that annoyed him and asked why she did it and she replied gleefully "b/c it annoys you." So is the show condoning it or will he eventually say - knock it off? Or maybe life stresses will ease and he can relax and dish it back at her.