Strangers DO judge all the time

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I agree with fireblossom.

However I am guilty of watching people and if I was in a situation such as a launderette then I would have probably looked at you as well. Not because I'm judging you but because I just like looking at people. I have a fascination.

I also used to worry about people looking at me too. It was so bad when I was you ger that it affected the way I walked. Like my legs would go to jelly.

F**k the strangers do what you want. I am not actually that confident but if I go out I usually have headphones in so I might be listening to music that makes me feel a little more confident at times I interact with people. And idk sometimes I like to dance around a bit to music I am listening to and idk it feels better if I just pretend other people don't really exist...like maybe they are like npcs in an RPG game.


Like idk if I am listening to a good song why shouldn't I dance around to it a bit, also other than that I might weirdly stim I feel if I have visible headphones and dance around people will figure I am just enjoying my music but really I can feel nervous out in public and so listening to music and focusing on that helps me feel a little more comfortable. Like for sure I feel a bit panicky if I am out and about on my own and forgot my headphones...since the music does help. But also I have a medical marijuana card so I can easily get stuff stronger than recreational doses which is what I kind of need. I got my med card for PTSD and when I mentioned that i was going to at least explain a little of why I had PTSD...but they were just like 'ohh PTSD, that's enough for us to approve it, you probably don't want to talk about it' so yeah to get approved they did not even make me explain it which was kind of a relief since I hate when I have to revisit it all.

But even without my medical marijuana, a pair of headphones I can listen to some music I like can help my anxiety, if I am in a crowded spot I might pop one headphone out and just listen with one ear if I feel I need to be more aware. But for sure having some music I like playing in at least one headphone does help calm me.

I remember one time my late grandmother said, "do something really embarrassing so that people will stare, then say 'well you stare when I'm being normal so I thought I'd make it a little more interesting!"'

She suffered Scopophobia (or social anxiety) too, and I used to be able to talk to her about this (and get a laugh out of it too).

You just can’t prevent yourself from experiencing nice things in life because you’re concerned about what a stranger thinks.

I understand this sort of thing doesn’t “go away” magically….but I believe a counterpoint should always be presented.

I see nothing wrong with presenting an alternative view.

Your grandmother sounds like a wise woman. I would completely agree with her.

I do things in public these days that might make people stare at me. I started doing it many years ago. I found that people don't actually care. They may look twice but that's about it.

I always take a shopping list with me to Aldi and I often stand in the middle of the aisle going down the list saying "got that got that got that". I say it quite loudly and it is one of the things I do on purpose. People do do a double take (I am aware of this out of the corner of my eye) but after that they don't care.

Well my boyfriend says it's human nature to look at each other, and I don't get as madly self-conscious with people staring as I used to, but I do have social anxiety around strangers. I don't get picked on by strangers as much as I used to in my early adult years, which is a good sign that I must blend in more than I used to.

It's difficult talking about this subject on an autism forum though because a lot of autistics lack social awareness and would flap their hands or do other noticeable stimming in public without knowing or caring what other people think. I'm more like an NT in that regard - I care what people think and I don't want to stand out,and I don't have the guts to stand out on purpose. I think it's because I've always been surrounded by NTs that have lectured me about acting normal in public and now I'm conditioned to think that way.

When I was a child I was a few years behind when it came to self-awareness. When I was 8 my peers started noticing what was odd and what wasn't, while I was still blissfully unaware. Then when I was 11-12 I was more like an 8-year-old, while my peers were even more self-aware. When I was in my teens I had sort of caught up but I must have been a bit off in my body language because people often ridiculed me in public. Then when I got into my 20s I became the opposite to what I was as a child - I became TOO self-aware and made me self-conscious. These days I don't get so wound up if somebody stares but I still worry about how I look, depending on what mood I'm in.

Social ostracism in adolescence is a contributing factor to this phenomena. It's very common trait to be selfconscious if you have any kind of Asd diagnosis