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OutUponATreeBranch
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 31 Dec 2014
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19 Nov 2021, 8:16 pm

So, since I got out of a bad relationship, haven't felt the desire to make close friends, or honestly know how to make close friends. Whenever I think to myself that I want to go out, I start thinking "oh it's such a pain in the ass to do that, then I have to closely regulate everything I'm doing to not appear weird, and most of these people aren't going to be friends with me in 5 months anyway, etc. etc." I've realized as an adult close friends r needed for emergencies, and my parents are a 5 hour flight away.

Instead I've been dating... because it seems easier. Only have to socialize with one person and the like that way.

So anyway, am I actually in need of these close friends, am I just a worry wort, am I just lazy and i can do it later, or should I just force my butt up and get out there and find some bros, which might be easier than I think?

As for making friends at work, most people are still working from home.



Fireblossom
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20 Nov 2021, 9:12 am

Well, having close friends certainly wouldn't hurt, so it's good to do something about it, but if the trying to make friends -part is really stressing, then it's probably better not to over do it. Put in effort to the point that it's comfortable enough, but if just the thought of going out and meeting up with someone will cause you anxiety, then it's probably healthier to try a little less? Put in some effort and try, but don't overwork yourself, I suppose.

As for dating being easier since you have to socialize with just one person at the time... could this also work with friendships somehow? Could you find someone who'd hang out with just you and you two could get to know each other without a large group?



shortfatbalduglyman
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20 Nov 2021, 10:02 am

Cost benefit analysis

And

Risk versus reward

Are different in every situation

However, having said that, after some situation occurred with a previous group of precious lil "people" in July 2021, my worthless corpse feels like never socializing again. Outside of work, I don't socialize and even at work, I am careful about "loose lips sinks". Besides the precious lil "people" at work are not really the type that I want to interact with.


There is no law that says that you have to socialize


Jd Salinger, Emily Dickinson and Sylvia Plath reclusive. That did not prevent occupational success. (Although maybe they would have been more successful with socializing). However that was without the Internet

Plus Coronavirus and telecommuting

You don't have to socialize if you don't want to

Especially for autistics, socializing is overrated, it appears to me that



theprisoner
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20 Nov 2021, 12:48 pm

Friends are overrated


_________________
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Minuteman
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21 Nov 2021, 8:07 pm

After a breakup there are two ways to react:

1. Pull away from people while you recover emotionally.
2. Get back out there to prove the breakup hasn't broken you.

Neither approach is wrong, as long as it doesn't lead to destructive behavior (i.e. depression or sleeping around).



OutUponATreeBranch
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 31 Dec 2014
Age: 36
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22 Nov 2021, 1:21 am

I think the strategic reason I'm looking for friends is because my family is far away like a 4 hour plane ride and I feel unsafe without having people close to me. I was making friends before the pandemic at work, then socializing became an issue for everyone.

I went to a board game meetup the other night with some other males, and felt like it was more enjoyable than dating. Maybe I switched teams... that's a joke btw.