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Is it reasonable for a 31 year old to be banned fromcaffeine

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blitzkrieg
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18 Dec 2021, 11:02 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
I'm drinking coffee right now, I drink like 6 cups a day. Nobody tells me what to do. It spikes cortisol though, so you're better off in a sense. "Honor thy father," He's just tryin to save your adrenal glands. Or be a man and confront your bully lunatic father and say" daddy no, i'm not taking any of your crap," and drink a whole bunch of coffee and spit it in his face. You could always do that. But your family owns shotguns right? Texans. Hunters. Oh it could get ugly.


Nobody should use violence, even against their bullies.

Violence should only ever be employed in self defense. I think that is a view the majority of reasonable & well-adjusted people hold.

I agree.Although I am afraid I will misinterpret him when he is joking about murdering me or eating me because one time he did tell me he was kidding me by saying he would eat me so I just think he may be a very sick individual. or saying he will kill me and the cops dont thinks its a real threat so there's really nothing I could do.


Eating you? As in physically eating you or saying he will kill you?

I think as Autistic folk, we can struggle with metaphors & figurative speech.

For example, it's fairly normal for a person to say something like "I'm going to kill you, you little sod". If someone does something annoying to them. It is all about context & what has been said between two parties and their social history.

If it's an in-person threat, then tone of voice matters & context also. If someone says something like the above figure of speech, in the middle of a crowd, in a light-hearted way - you wouldn't/shouldn't take that seriously.

If a person has threatened you directly - take a screen shot & forward it to the police.

Unless they directly communicate a threat to you, there is nothing you can do. If you seek a person out to see what they are saying about you (if anything) - then you are volunteering attention & you are the problem.

If you feel you have done something worth retaliating against, then that may feed into your fear of that person.

Well he said only joked about cannibalizing me once but I just dont think you should joke with sensitive people about those kinds of things.I did not know if I should it take it seriously but Im typing this so I guess it was just a sick joke.


Oh, that's sad. Nobody should be telling you that they are wanting to cannabilize you. That is indeed sick.



Texasmoneyman300
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18 Dec 2021, 11:18 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
I'm drinking coffee right now, I drink like 6 cups a day. Nobody tells me what to do. It spikes cortisol though, so you're better off in a sense. "Honor thy father," He's just tryin to save your adrenal glands. Or be a man and confront your bully lunatic father and say" daddy no, i'm not taking any of your crap," and drink a whole bunch of coffee and spit it in his face. You could always do that. But your family owns shotguns right? Texans. Hunters. Oh it could get ugly.


Nobody should use violence, even against their bullies.

Violence should only ever be employed in self defense. I think that is a view the majority of reasonable & well-adjusted people hold.

I agree.Although I am afraid I will misinterpret him when he is joking about murdering me or eating me because one time he did tell me he was kidding me by saying he would eat me so I just think he may be a very sick individual. or saying he will kill me and the cops dont thinks its a real threat so there's really nothing I could do.


Eating you? As in physically eating you or saying he will kill you?

I think as Autistic folk, we can struggle with metaphors & figurative speech.

For example, it's fairly normal for a person to say something like "I'm going to kill you, you little sod". If someone does something annoying to them. It is all about context & what has been said between two parties and their social history.

If it's an in-person threat, then tone of voice matters & context also. If someone says something like the above figure of speech, in the middle of a crowd, in a light-hearted way - you wouldn't/shouldn't take that seriously.

If a person has threatened you directly - take a screen shot & forward it to the police.

Unless they directly communicate a threat to you, there is nothing you can do. If you seek a person out to see what they are saying about you (if anything) - then you are volunteering attention & you are the problem.

If you feel you have done something worth retaliating against, then that may feed into your fear of that person.

Well he said only joked about cannibalizing me once but I just dont think you should joke with sensitive people about those kinds of things.I did not know if I should it take it seriously but Im typing this so I guess it was just a sick joke.


Oh, that's sad. Nobody should be telling you that they are wanting to cannabilize you. That is indeed sick.

Thank you.I appreciate it.



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23 Dec 2021, 4:44 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Look where turning the other cheek as got him though.

If you read the advice on how to deal with bullies, it's actually not with violence or retaliation. That will make things worse. Imagining the retaliation, though, is highly beneficial, on the other hand.

Having boundaries and being outspoken though can improve things depending on case. Many times it's a waste of energy and a reason for more arguments though, so really. Not sure what it could ever change sometimes. Some people have to be explained logically, read to daily about coffee and what the age of drinking coffee is, until they have nightmares at night. And even so they can eventually undertsand it and say yes thats very true, and 1 minute later they go back to "i believe whatever i want to" and ignore all scientific evidence because they are entitled, unreasonable, and hostile by default. Only therapy can help an ignorant mind. Many years to break down those thought patterns and get them to seek the truth above the things they seem to want to believe. Because belief is not by will, belief is by truth and awareness.


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RetroGamer87
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26 Dec 2021, 8:44 pm

Rexi wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Look where turning the other cheek as got him though.

If you read the advice on how to deal with bullies, it's actually not with violence or retaliation. That will make things worse. Imagining the retaliation, though, is highly beneficial, on the other hand.

Having boundaries and being outspoken though can improve things depending on case. Many times it's a waste of energy and a reason for more arguments though, so really. Not sure what it could ever change sometimes. Some people have to be explained logically, read to daily about coffee and what the age of drinking coffee is, until they have nightmares at night. And even so they can eventually undertsand it and say yes thats very true, and 1 minute later they go back to "i believe whatever i want to" and ignore all scientific evidence because they are entitled, unreasonable, and hostile by default. Only therapy can help an ignorant mind. Many years to break down those thought patterns and get them to seek the truth above the things they seem to want to believe. Because belief is not by will, belief is by truth and awareness.

How do you set boundries for someone who already has power over you?


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26 Dec 2021, 9:05 pm

If somebody has power over you, and they try to control you, and don't respect your autonomy. Then you take that power away. I'm an easy going guy. But If a family member said i couldn't drink coffee, or tried to lay down law with me. Boss me about. Dictate things. We got problems. I've had family try to emotionally blackmail me, I don't exactly react favorable to that.


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27 Dec 2021, 4:30 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Rexi wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Look where turning the other cheek as got him though.

If you read the advice on how to deal with bullies, it's actually not with violence or retaliation. That will make things worse. Imagining the retaliation, though, is highly beneficial, on the other hand.

Having boundaries and being outspoken though can improve things depending on case. Many times it's a waste of energy and a reason for more arguments though, so really. Not sure what it could ever change sometimes. Some people have to be explained logically, read to daily about coffee and what the age of drinking coffee is, until they have nightmares at night. And even so they can eventually undertsand it and say yes thats very true, and 1 minute later they go back to "i believe whatever i want to" and ignore all scientific evidence because they are entitled, unreasonable, and hostile by default. Only therapy can help an ignorant mind. Many years to break down those thought patterns and get them to seek the truth above the things they seem to want to believe. Because belief is not by will, belief is by truth and awareness.

How do you set boundries for someone who already has power over you?

You can't really in all cases, except for repeating your statement and setting consequences. sometimes you have to set physical boundaries in extreme cases where they have no abstination over their behaviour. Such as lock your room, or the restroom. Like they say "control yourself" not others, but some people can't and have no respect.
Fear makes you controllable. Stay in the fear and say no. Easy to say, hard to do when the survival instinct hits.
The best thing you can do is move out of that house. Even if you visit sometimes, it wont be as bad.


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Nades
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09 Jan 2022, 1:55 pm

Rexi wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Rexi wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Look where turning the other cheek as got him though.

If you read the advice on how to deal with bullies, it's actually not with violence or retaliation. That will make things worse. Imagining the retaliation, though, is highly beneficial, on the other hand.

Having boundaries and being outspoken though can improve things depending on case. Many times it's a waste of energy and a reason for more arguments though, so really. Not sure what it could ever change sometimes. Some people have to be explained logically, read to daily about coffee and what the age of drinking coffee is, until they have nightmares at night. And even so they can eventually undertsand it and say yes thats very true, and 1 minute later they go back to "i believe whatever i want to" and ignore all scientific evidence because they are entitled, unreasonable, and hostile by default. Only therapy can help an ignorant mind. Many years to break down those thought patterns and get them to seek the truth above the things they seem to want to believe. Because belief is not by will, belief is by truth and awareness.

How do you set boundries for someone who already has power over you?

You can't really in all cases, except for repeating your statement and setting consequences. sometimes you have to set physical boundaries in extreme cases where they have no abstination over their behaviour. Such as lock your room, or the restroom. Like they say "control yourself" not others, but some people can't and have no respect.
Fear makes you controllable. Stay in the fear and say no. Easy to say, hard to do when the survival instinct hits.
The best thing you can do is move out of that house. Even if you visit sometimes, it wont be as bad.


Having to resort to running into a room or toilet cubicle and locking the door to get away from a bully is the ultimate humiliation.

Why not just punch them?



goldfish21
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21 Feb 2022, 1:50 pm

Unless your disability is a heart condition or something where Medical Doctors have advised that you not consume caffeine, then IMO their justification is absurd & I agree fully that you should be able to consume caffeine whenever you please.


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01 Mar 2022, 3:21 pm

Nades wrote:
Rexi wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Rexi wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Look where turning the other cheek as got him though.

If you read the advice on how to deal with bullies, it's actually not with violence or retaliation. That will make things worse. Imagining the retaliation, though, is highly beneficial, on the other hand.

Having boundaries and being outspoken though can improve things depending on case. Many times it's a waste of energy and a reason for more arguments though, so really. Not sure what it could ever change sometimes. Some people have to be explained logically, read to daily about coffee and what the age of drinking coffee is, until they have nightmares at night. And even so they can eventually undertsand it and say yes thats very true, and 1 minute later they go back to "i believe whatever i want to" and ignore all scientific evidence because they are entitled, unreasonable, and hostile by default. Only therapy can help an ignorant mind. Many years to break down those thought patterns and get them to seek the truth above the things they seem to want to believe. Because belief is not by will, belief is by truth and awareness.

How do you set boundries for someone who already has power over you?

You can't really in all cases, except for repeating your statement and setting consequences. sometimes you have to set physical boundaries in extreme cases where they have no abstination over their behaviour. Such as lock your room, or the restroom. Like they say "control yourself" not others, but some people can't and have no respect.
Fear makes you controllable. Stay in the fear and say no. Easy to say, hard to do when the survival instinct hits.
The best thing you can do is move out of that house. Even if you visit sometimes, it wont be as bad.


Having to resort to running into a room or toilet cubicle and locking the door to get away from a bully is the ultimate humiliation.

Why not just punch them?

Because your ego is not wise, you have no skill in fighting and if they pick up a tool you're screwed? Or because you could kill them accidentally? It's not an arena, it's a house. And if they call police, you can get in trouble.
Why would you escalate aggressive people.


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DW_a_mom
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01 Mar 2022, 11:40 pm

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
I'm drinking coffee right now, I drink like 6 cups a day. Nobody tells me what to do. It spikes cortisol though, so you're better off in a sense. "Honor thy father," He's just tryin to save your adrenal glands. Or be a man and confront your bully lunatic father and say" daddy no, i'm not taking any of your crap," and drink a whole bunch of coffee and spit it in his face. You could always do that. But your family owns shotguns right? Texans. Hunters. Oh it could get ugly.


Nobody should use violence, even against their bullies.

Violence should only ever be employed in self defense. I think that is a view the majority of reasonable & well-adjusted people hold.

I agree.Although I am afraid I will misinterpret him when he is joking about murdering me or eating me because one time so I just think he may be a very sick individual. or saying he will kill me and the cops dont thinks its a real threat so there's really nothing I could do.He constantly spends hours of each day trying to get a rise out of me to make me yell at him.


When you say "eating you" could it be he was using expressions like "eat you up and spit you out?" It's a class of expressions meant to indicate strategic/intellectual superiority.

Going through the thread and some of your summaries of other things he has said, it sounds to me like he doesn't see you as being "manly" or capable of surviving on your own, and enjoys teasing you about it. I don't know if he realizes you are taking those statements literally, or just finds it funny that you do. Either way it is, honestly, mean of him ... except he might not see it that way. Sometimes the teasing - bullying behavior is such a large part of local culture that no one even realizes how hurtful it is anymore, like everyone is supposed to "toughen up" if they can't take it.

I am sorry you have to deal with that, and don't get to feel unconditional love and acceptance from your parents. You deserve to be accepted exactly as you are.

I still think writing up a contract with your parents could be worth a try. If they do X, you will do Y. It would show initiative on your part, and maybe help them to see more of the strength you do have. If your dad is the type of personality I think he is, he will respect efforts to stand up to him IF he sees those efforts as "smart," instead of childish or tone deaf.


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25 Mar 2022, 9:24 pm

After tonight I will be given my freedom to make alll my own decisions and be my own man



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25 Mar 2022, 9:27 pm

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
After tonight I will be given my freedom to make alll my own decisions and be my own man


How'd that come about?


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Texasmoneyman300
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25 Mar 2022, 10:12 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
After tonight I will be given my freedom to make alll my own decisions and be my own man


How'd that come about?

My parents just decided it was time for me to sink or swim but I am still alllowed to live at home



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26 Mar 2022, 9:28 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
After tonight I will be given my freedom to make alll my own decisions and be my own man


How'd that come about?

My parents just decided it was time for me to sink or swim but I am still alllowed to live at home


Your parents actually want to let you become an independent human being? Am I reading this right? What made them change their behaviour?



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26 Mar 2022, 11:29 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
My parents just decided it was time for me to sink or swim but I am still alllowed to live at home

Congratulations!! ! Get ready to sink a bit and swim a bit and find what works for you!! ! I sink and swim every day.

I wish you the assistance and resources you need. Given your parents previous approach I wonder that they might have an all-or-nothing attitude (either they control nearly in full, or they will not be of near any assistance and possibly judgmental). My mom is a like that. In any case, I'm glad your parents are offering (not allowing, offering) that you explore this from your current home, assuming that suits you.

Friendly teasing: Are you know going to drink so many caffeinated drinks that you puke?



Texasmoneyman300
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26 Mar 2022, 4:10 pm

Nades wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
After tonight I will be given my freedom to make alll my own decisions and be my own man


How'd that come about?

My parents just decided it was time for me to sink or swim but I am still alllowed to live at home


Your parents actually want to let you become an independent human being? Am I reading this right? What made them change their behaviour?

They got tired of me yelling at them for months on end