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nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,032
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

29 Nov 2021, 5:33 am

I'm not sure what the arguments are about but I do know that couples will not see eye to eye sometimes, or in some cases lots of times. In those cases it may be helpful to try to find compromises. Suggest alternatives that you think might could work for both of you. If they are imminently rejected or not heard, it may be best drop it for a bit & give her a chance to calm down & relax for a while. After you've both calmed down, you can try resuming the debate & perhaps in a different method of communication like email or written or something. After that, it may be best to agree to disagree. You do what you want without her support & she does what she wants without your support. It also helps me to remind myself of the phrase "pick your battles". In my experience lots of arguments are just not worth the fight. I eventually learned it's best just for me to give in sometimes because the argument is not worth both of us feeling like cr@p afterwards. I tend to be a passive person sometimes(or lots of times) & nowadays I seldom push something unless I feel strongly about it. I'll try for a bit & if I feel Cass is not listening to me & not hearing me out, I'll give up & drop it before I get mad at her. Usually when I do push something nowadays it is in some way related to Cass's mental or physical health. Sometimes she's so caught up with her own sh!t that she cant think clearly. She doesn't know how to set boundaries with people & she has a very codependent relationship with a couple family members(NOT me) & gets super worn out & mentally exhausted from it. I am dependent & s#ck with life skills but I am levelheaded & analytical about making decisions if I am not caught up in the heat of the moment. I was a good strategist in the workplace 1ce I learned & caught on to things. If I push an issue & Cass gives in, she usually thanks me latter. & if I push & issue & she doesn't give in, she usually tells me later that she shoulda listened to me. I usually remind her of that when I am pushing an issue. I really think her health would be better if she listened to me more but my health would probably be better in some ways if I listened to her more.


_________________
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