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RetroGamer87
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20 Nov 2021, 8:10 am

Whenever I get into an argument with my partner she gish gallops me. She interrups me to the point where I have to restart the same unfinished sentence over and over again.

She introduces new points to the conversation so rapidly that I don't have time to refute them before she introduces new ones.

I googled for how to stop a gish gallop and it said "To counter a Gish gallop, the best course of action is usually to call out the Gish gallop explicitly".

That technique might work in formal debate circles but the average person hasn't heard of the gish gallop and the sort of person who uses it won't listen long enough to hear it explained.

I'm not sure what to do. It's affecting my mental health.


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20 Nov 2021, 8:23 am

.. leave . Or show her this Thread . And see response .



funeralxempire
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20 Nov 2021, 12:36 pm

Call it out anyways, just be prepared to do more unpacking than you'd have to do in a formal debate setting.

I'm sorry she's a were-Ben Shapiro.


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naturalplastic
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20 Nov 2021, 12:46 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Call it out anyways, just be prepared to do more unpacking than you'd have to do in a formal debate setting.

I'm sorry she's a were-Ben Shapiro.


Sorry to nit-pick, but...

Do you mean a "ware-ben shapiro"? :)

"Ware" as in "warewolf"?



naturalplastic
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20 Nov 2021, 12:49 pm

My sister does that. And I discovered that my girlfriends sister also does that.

Dont know how to deal with it.


I suppose most folks interrupt if they get wound up in a...vigorous disagreement.



RetroGamer87
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21 Nov 2021, 11:04 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Call it out anyways,

I did. She didn't listen. There's not going to be any time for unpacking when I can't get a word in edgewise.


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Mona Pereth
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23 Nov 2021, 4:22 am

I would suggest refusing to engage in spoken debate/discussion with her when she goes into Gish gallop mode, and, instead, tell her you'll respond only if she puts it in an email. If she persists in verbal Gish galloping, lie down and play dead until she stops.


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RetroGamer87
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24 Nov 2021, 9:29 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
I would suggest refusing to engage in spoken debate/discussion with her when she goes into Gish gallop mode

That's what she wants. That's why she does it in the first place. To silence me.


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funeralxempire
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24 Nov 2021, 9:44 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Call it out anyways, just be prepared to do more unpacking than you'd have to do in a formal debate setting.

I'm sorry she's a were-Ben Shapiro.


Sorry to nit-pick, but...

Do you mean a "ware-ben shapiro"? :)

"Ware" as in "warewolf"?


Were- as in werewolf.
You've misspelled it, it's spelled were- and it's derived from an Old English word for man (related to virile).


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funeralxempire
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24 Nov 2021, 9:46 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Call it out anyways,

I did. She didn't listen. There's not going to be any time for unpacking when I can't get a word in edgewise.


That can be hard, I usually just outlast those folks but I don't imagine that strategy works for everyone.


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RetroGamer87
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25 Nov 2021, 3:48 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Call it out anyways,

I did. She didn't listen. There's not going to be any time for unpacking when I can't get a word in edgewise.


That can be hard, I usually just outlast those folks but I don't imagine that strategy works for everyone.


Outlast. She has infinite reserves of patience. But not the good kind of patience.


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25 Nov 2021, 7:54 pm

Put on a solemn face, and in a stern tone say, "honey, what you need to understand is..." then immediately blow raspberries and run out of the house. Do this every time she tries to gish gallop you.

If she's going to act like a child, you've just got to act like a more annoying child. Eventually she'll realize it's less hassle to just let you get your points across.



nick007
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27 Nov 2021, 2:11 am

My current girlfriend is kinda like that sometimes. She does not do it to be mean or get her way thou. She has a major problem with depression, anxiety, & stress & is probably on the boarder of having Borderline Personality Disorder. She expects me to help but she has times when she's so caught up with her emotions that she gets upset by every single thing I say or do. I can NOT help her when she'll cut me off & reject everything. I used to get mad & yell at her & then we'd both end up feeling like complete cr@p after. Thanx to my meds & learning/growing/maturing, I learned to bite my tongue so to speak most of the time & instead of me yelling at her, I'll quietly & quickly leave the room & go do my own thing for a while. I usually either get on my desktop or I'll go to bed. I also don't initiate conversation with her when she comes into the bedroom or when I leave the bedroom. She ends up apologizing because she feels very bad about her behavior after she's calmed down.


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Mona Pereth
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28 Nov 2021, 8:06 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
That's what she wants. That's why she does it in the first place. To silence me.

What would happen if you were to make it clear that you are not listening? Perhaps put your hands over your ears and just say "Stop Gish galloping!" over and over again?

Also, what would happen if you were to put your thoughts in email and simply refuse to acknowledge anything she says in response except via email?


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28 Nov 2021, 8:36 am

If I was at the end of my tether I would quote Brandolini's law and wait for a slap



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28 Nov 2021, 7:06 pm

Keep in mind that a discussion in a relationship is not a debate. There is no audience; you're only trying to get through to the other person.

If she's being totally unreceptive and not listening to you, then just avoid arguing with her. Wait until she feels better and then bring up the discussion with her.

If that works, great. But if she's constantly unreceptive regardless of when you talk to her, then it may be time to move on.