Were you rejected for autism?

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AnonymousAnonymous
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01 Dec 2021, 7:53 pm

auntblabby wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I've been rejected due to my autism before. A lot of people don't understand it and assume that I am just choosing to have the issues that I have.


That is awful! Such people IMO need to be more understanding that the spectrum is real. :x Example: My two bigoted uncles who believe that the spectrum isn't real, that the only way for a man to truly "man up" (spectrum and NT alike) is to enlist in the US Armed Forces (which is something I'm glad I didn't do) and that the only way for a woman to be truly be happy is to settle down before doing anything else in her life.

with all due respect, your "two bigoted uncles" know NOTHING. i've been in the army and it didn't "make me a man" in any way, shape or form. it was just something i endured for 4 years, is all, rather like a sentence of indentured servitude for uncle sam.


Thank you for your service, Aunt Blabby and you are so right! :D
They both believe the spectrum is a big lie made up by the US government. :lol:

I was diagnosed with AS when I was 13, so WTF is their problem after all these years? :?


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auntblabby
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01 Dec 2021, 8:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
LOL....When my wife is gone, I NEVER make my bed :P

that's the spirit, it has good hygienic reasons also, you want a bare mattress so it can air out between the times you sleep in it, that is a good practice.



RightGalaxy
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06 Dec 2021, 11:00 pm

Actually not - just for being overweight.



auntblabby
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06 Dec 2021, 11:17 pm

seems there is a fairly long list people in general have of disqualifying things for matehood or even datehood.



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09 Dec 2021, 1:49 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
My wife thinks I should have been in the Army, too. Her father was in the Trinidad and Tobago Army.

The only reason: Because, then, I would have learned to make a bed properly!

You do not fulfill your manly duties, making the bed perfectly like her father. </3 Secretly try to mimic what he was doing, you know the saying, girls select based on what they see in their dad, but better. So try to 1 up his bedmaking and put sheet-made swans on top & rose petals. If the swan ends up looking like a sausage with wings, it's still better.


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Last edited by Rexi on 09 Dec 2021, 1:56 am, edited 2 times in total.

Rexi
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09 Dec 2021, 1:52 am

hurtloam wrote:
nick007 wrote:
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Probably. No one said that was the reason, they probably didn't know what autism was, they just knew we didn't vibe.

Most gutted I've been is to be rejected by someone autistic because I had found my kin and even he judged me harshly. Can't win.
Were you rejected by any other autistic men or just that one? I notice that autistic women on these forums are less interested in dating autistic men than the other way around so you might have better luck meeting an autistic man on tlhis forum, especially if you were to make the 1st move & reach out & message some guys you find interesting. That's what my current girlfriend did with me.


The only openly autistic one, but not the only suspected one.

No, I'm done making effort. I'm quite content on my own.

I realised that I made a lot of effort, reaching out, organising, starting conversations and nothing was ever enough.

I've had enough.

I hope that wasn't why you reached out to me. :(


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RetroGamer87
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11 Dec 2021, 7:39 am

How would I know?


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12 Dec 2021, 4:15 am

snackamigo wrote:
Yeah I just got dumped yesterday. He said "get your things and leave and never come back. I'm sick of your BS." My "BS" being the ways I cope with the world as an autistic person I guess. Because I don't do any BS. I just have to try to survive in a human environment that is agonizing for me, and I've explained to him so many times but I guess he thinks I'm just dramatic. I don't know.

Sorry for the long reply. Really hurt right now.

My last relationship ended similarly.


That's quite hideous...sounds like not a very understanding person.

For me what's worse is not really the rejection, since this is probably saving me from a boring or stressful relationship. It's people demising, insulting, or ignoring personal needs and boundaries. I typically feel pain if I'm touched for about 10 seconds or more, and never met a woman who understood or respected that. Also had one who was so annoyed that I wanted a curtain over one bedroom window, so I could sleep (there was an outdoor light triggered by a sensor). I'm a very light sleeper. I never could understand how this would negatively impact her sleep or why it was an issue. She went along with it, but felt the need to let me know how annoying it was. Seemed very unfair, since I went to countless family gatherings for her, but that's how some people are.



HighLlama
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12 Dec 2021, 4:18 am

hurtloam wrote:
nick007 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Probably. No one said that was the reason, they probably didn't know what autism was, they just knew we didn't vibe.

Most gutted I've been is to be rejected by someone autistic because I had found my kin and even he judged me harshly. Can't win.
Were you rejected by any other autistic men or just that one? I notice that autistic women on these forums are less interested in dating autistic men than the other way around so you might have better luck meeting an autistic man on tlhis forum, especially if you were to make the 1st move & reach out & message some guys you find interesting. That's what my current girlfriend did with me.


The only openly autistic one, but not the only suspected one.

No, I'm done making effort. I'm quite content on my own.

I realised that I made a lot of effort, reaching out, organising, starting conversations and nothing was ever enough.

I've had enough.


I definitely relate to this. I got very tired of dealing with other people's baggage, neediness, and immaturity. Being single is more fun, especially since I have an exhausting job. You have such a nice way of expressing yourself--very thoughtful--and I think those other people are definitely missing out. It's my opinion that what most people fall in love with is an idea of someone else, and I imagine these people who rejected you didn't know what they were really rejecting. We live in a world that worships fantasy over reality.



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17 Dec 2021, 4:43 am

Erjoy29 wrote:
I wasn’t exactly. There were other reasons. But I BET if I didn’t have autism, I would’ve made it in certain relationships! I would’ve added so much more. So much, that nobody would’ve wanted to end things with me. If I were NT, they would have always wanted to stay with me. NT’s are given so much slack for so many bad things because they are NT. That is exactly why I have to work extra hard to be kind, giving, funny, etc. I try to compensate however I can. But if I really have to be alone lifelong. So be it. Even if it is detrimental to my health in some ways. I have grown extremely used and accustomed to my own company.

I was but then she started talking to me again and we cut it off after she got married for obvious reasons and I never have heard from her again.I told her early on on the basis of my counselor thinking I should upfront and honest.