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I signed a Consensual Relationship Agreement, but...

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cyberdad
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30 Nov 2021, 2:36 am

ironpony wrote:
Okay thanks. Do you think this could affect future jobs, and career opportunities though? Like we live in a world where people are being cancelled for whatever reason, and if potential employers of future career opportunities were to look at my facebook, social media, and see my gf for example would they think what kind of guy is this for dating a woman so much younger, etc, let's not do business with him, etc?


I guess the rule of thumb is not to play around where you work, especially if the girl is substantially younger. At best you become the centre of office gossip, at worst you might end up dismissed from your job.

Ultimately it depends on how much you like the girl, If you both sincerely like each other than I guess at some point one of you need to move jobs.



cyberdad
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30 Nov 2021, 4:21 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. She is a supervisor compared to me though, and has been there for 2 and a half years, where as I have been there for nine months though, so I thought it would be percieved as her having power over me maybe therefore. But I don't think the superiors know about her being impressed by my filmmaking experience though.


Ok, so that's kind of weird why she wasn't made to sign one of these agreements?



kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2021, 9:37 am

Now you understand why you shouldn't disclose your romantic relationship at work?

No....I don't believe this will affect your future job prospects. You signed an agreement pertaining to a "consensual" relationship. This is meant to cover both your butts.

Consulting an attorney doesn't hurt---but I believe signing what you signed was probably the right thing to do. It shows that the relationship is "consensual" on both sides. She can't claim you coerced her into it; and you can't claim she coerced you into it.



ironpony
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30 Nov 2021, 9:40 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Now you understand why you shouldn't disclose your romantic relationship at work?

No....I don't believe this will affect your future job prospects. You signed an agreement pertaining to a "consensual" relationship. This is meant to cover both your butts.

Consulting an attorney doesn't hurt---but I believe signing what you signed was probably the right thing to do. It shows that the relationship is "consensual" on both sides. She can't claim you coerced her into it; and you can't claim she coerced you into it.


Oh I didn't disclose the relationship. They found out by other means. I can consult one. It's just that it doesn't feel that they think it's consensual to them if I am the only one signing it, if that makes sense.



cyberdad
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30 Nov 2021, 2:58 pm

ironpony wrote:
They found out by other means.


umm that's a red flag.



kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2021, 3:40 pm

How did they find out?



ironpony
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01 Dec 2021, 9:45 am

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
They found out by other means.


umm that's a red flag.


Oh how is that a red flag exactly?

kraftiekortie wrote:
How did they find out?


I'm not sure, maybe one of them saw us in public together or something like that? I suppose it could have been something like that, if that is the most logical explanation?



kraftiekortie
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01 Dec 2021, 10:59 am

You know what?

The best thing people can do is just mind their own damn business!

These days, the busybodies are having a field day.



cyberdad
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01 Dec 2021, 3:37 pm

ironpony wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
They found out by other means.

umm that's a red flag.

Oh how is that a red flag exactly?


Your employer is snooping.



ironpony
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01 Dec 2021, 8:48 pm

Oh okay. How should I respond to that then?



cyberdad
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01 Dec 2021, 9:24 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. How should I respond to that then?


Go talk to them and get an explanation



ironpony
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01 Dec 2021, 9:26 pm

But if I were to ask them, then I admitting more to the relationship. Isn't best to just keep quiet about the relationship, rather than admitting more to it, in hopes they will tell me how they found out?



cyberdad
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01 Dec 2021, 9:44 pm

ironpony wrote:
But if I were to ask them, then I admitting more to the relationship. Isn't best to just keep quiet about the relationship, rather than admitting more to it, in hopes they will tell me how they found out?


I see what you mean. Perhaps ask about the agreement since they didn't give you a choice.



MuddRM
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01 Dec 2021, 10:10 pm

To begin, I AM NOT A LAWYER.

You just signed away any and all rights you had in regards to your future with this job, if not your career.

If the company wants you to sign such an agreement, especially after you have been employed by the company in good standing, you’re being set up to be terminated at the company’s convince, since most labor nowadays is “at will”, meaning, management or labor don’t have to give a reason to terminate the employment contract.

In short, if management wants you to sign anything make sure you have an attorney, who specializes in labor law, take a look at the document.



Last edited by MuddRM on 01 Dec 2021, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ironpony
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01 Dec 2021, 10:12 pm

Oh well all I did was agree to not complain about any possible sexual harassment, so is that equivalent to signing away my whole career though?



cyberdad
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02 Dec 2021, 12:14 am

MuddRM wrote:
To begin, I AM NOT A LAWYER.

You just signed away any and all rights you had in regards to your future with this job, if not your career.

If the company wants you to sign such an agreement, especially after you have been employed by the company in good standing, you’re being set up to be terminated at the company’s convince, since most labor nowadays is “at will”, meaning, management or labor don’t have to give a reason to terminate the employment contract.

In short, if management wants you to sign anything make sure you have an attorney, who specializes in labor law, take a look at the document.


That's possible as well. However, my understanding is that this is a retail job not a high powered corporate executive position. Retail positions have high turnover so my best guess is the company wants to keep ironpony but wants to protect both him and themselves against any legal complications about ironpony screwing one of the managers.