I signed a Consensual Relationship Agreement, but...

Page 2 of 8 [ 113 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 8  Next

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

29 Nov 2021, 10:00 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. She is a supervisor compared to me though, and has been there for 2 and a half years, where as I have been there for nine months though, so I thought it would be percieved as her having power over me maybe therefore. But I don't think the superiors know about her being impressed by my filmmaking experience though.


In that case they may be covering themselves in case they are hauled up by HR (or somebody else) for flouting policies in co-workers dating etc. The agreement sounds like it benefits them not you.



Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

29 Nov 2021, 10:02 pm

ironpony wrote:
I am dating a co-worker and my employers had me sign a Consensual Relationship Agreement which is fine, but should I be worried?

They didn't make her sign one which I found to be odd, and just me. I can't help but feel there may be a stink in the air with how my employers see me now, but wonder if it's likely the case, or maybe I am just thinking about it too much and I am fine? What do you think?

Thanks for any advice on this. I really appreciate it!

She consents regardlessly? Thats kinda funny.
If one of you signs maybe its like visa papers sometimes, they trust that the relationship is ongoing and a thing. Although that doesnt actually happen but both can sign the same statement.




"Workplace romances may lead to accusations of poor judgment, ethical breaches, favoritism and harassment. Employers are also aware of the risks of decreased productivity and employee morale. These concerns have led some employers to institute consensual relationship agreements (sometimes called “love contracts”).

In a consensual relationship contract, the dating parties sign an agreement that confirms the relationship is consensual, explains what the parties should do if the relationship ever ceases to be consensual, and affirms that the employees are aware of the organization’s policies on sexual harassment and workplace ethics and also that they understand the consequences of failure to follow those policies. Agreements may be between peers or between employees of different levels in the organization.

Experts say the reasons for asking employees to sign a consensual relationship contract include:

Decreasing sexual harassment litigation risk. If a workplace romance fails, one employee may claim to have been pressured into the relationship, particularly if one of the employees is in a higher role in the organization than the other. A consensual relationship contract, signed after the relationship has commenced, can effectively refute such claims by providing compelling evidence that both employees entered the relationship voluntarily.

Reducing perceptions of favoritism. Favoritism—or the appearance of it—is not just poor employee relations. In some cases, it is a cause for harassment lawsuits. Openness about the existence of the relationship allows management to be alert for behavior that may hint of favoritism.

Creating a forum to discuss professional workplace behavior. A consensual relationship contract provides a forum for HR professionals to talk to dating employees about appropriate workplace behavior.

Before adopting consensual relationship contracts, employers should consider how their use will affect the organization and its employees: Will the use and enforcement cause as many problems as they solve?

Reasons why some HR professionals spurn consensual relationship contracts include the following:

Employees may regard them as an invasion of privacy. Well-performing, professional employees may be offended by the mandatory reporting of a personal relationship.

HR does not want to be in charge of relationships. Consensual relationship contracts may put HR professionals into the position of policing who dates whom, having to discuss the appropriateness of relationships and dealing with the “idea,” rather than with the reality, of awkward situations.

Consensual relationship contracts do not always protect against the most problematic romantic relationships. Romantic relationships most likely to cause problems for organizations are those in which participants will be the least likely to come forward to sign consensual relationship contract, regardless of policy. For example, married participants or participants in sensitive jobs may choose to disregard policy because of the negative repercussions of revealing the relationship.

Consensual relationship contracts are not for every organization, and the pros and cons must be carefully considered. Regardless, all employers would be wise to create policies that clearly outline acceptable behavior within the organization as well as consequences for employees who cross those boundaries."



I guess the risks are if you harass her after she ends it, in other words try to contact her or talk to her against her will.


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

29 Nov 2021, 10:14 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. She is a supervisor compared to me though, and has been there for 2 and a half years, where as I have been there for nine months though, so I thought it would be percieved as her having power over me maybe therefore. But I don't think the superiors know about her being impressed by my filmmaking experience though.


In that case they may be covering themselves in case they are hauled up by HR (or somebody else) for flouting policies in co-workers dating etc. The agreement sounds like it benefits them not you.


Oh okay. Another thing is, my boss what caught in a sexual harrassment scandal with some of the employees. Basically he slept with some of the immgrant workers, and he is not allowed to hire immigrants anymore legally as a result. This was before I started working there and only heard this my gf who knows more about it before I started.

But could this scandal be possibly why he is covering himself with my situation more, or is that kind of a reach or a long shot?



Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

29 Nov 2021, 10:16 pm

If coworkers have no idea about what consensual agreement signing at the workplace means they might accuse you of not consensually being with her.
Either way I guess theyll talk about you.


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

29 Nov 2021, 10:17 pm

Rexi wrote:
If coworkers have no idea about what consensual agreement signing at the workplace means they might accuse you of not consensually being with her.
Either way I guess theyll talk about you.


Oh sorry, I do not understand. Could you elaborate?



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

29 Nov 2021, 10:22 pm

ironpony wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. She is a supervisor compared to me though, and has been there for 2 and a half years, where as I have been there for nine months though, so I thought it would be percieved as her having power over me maybe therefore. But I don't think the superiors know about her being impressed by my filmmaking experience though.


In that case they may be covering themselves in case they are hauled up by HR (or somebody else) for flouting policies in co-workers dating etc. The agreement sounds like it benefits them not you.


Oh okay. Another thing is, my boss what caught in a sexual harrassment scandal with some of the employees. Basically he slept with some of the immgrant workers, and he is not allowed to hire immigrants anymore legally as a result. This was before I started working there and only heard this my gf who knows more about it before I started.

But could this scandal be possibly why he is covering himself with my situation more, or is that kind of a reach or a long shot?


Possibly might explain the historic precedence for issueing dating co-workers with this agreement/form as a way of diffusing any HR issues. Sounds like you already signed it?



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

29 Nov 2021, 10:22 pm

Oh yes I already signed it back when they presented it to me.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

29 Nov 2021, 10:28 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh yes I already signed it back when they presented it to me.


I'd still get an attorney to look at what you signed.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

29 Nov 2021, 10:34 pm

Okay I can do that. But I thought the attorney would just say it's a consensual relationship agreement and would have no more to say than what is on the form.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

29 Nov 2021, 10:38 pm

ironpony wrote:
Okay I can do that. But I thought the attorney would just say it's a consensual relationship agreement and would have no more to say than what is on the form.


He may, but this is something I am not familiar with, so my first reaction is show it to my attorney.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

29 Nov 2021, 10:41 pm

That's a good point. I can do that. But also, even outside of the legalities, am I in trouble at work, in the sense that they may not like me now likely, especially if they think the age gap is weird, or as long as I do the work well, they will likely be fine?



Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

29 Nov 2021, 10:51 pm

ironpony wrote:
Rexi wrote:
If coworkers have no idea about what consensual agreement signing at the workplace means they might accuse you of not consensually being with her.
Either way I guess theyll talk about you.


Oh sorry, I do not understand. Could you elaborate?

The name of the agreement can cause confusion about what just happened and why you were called to the office. Though, literally, what are the chances for that? But they may also judge you for being in a workplace relationship.


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

30 Nov 2021, 12:11 am

ironpony wrote:
That's a good point. I can do that. But also, even outside of the legalities, am I in trouble at work, in the sense that they may not like me now likely, especially if they think the age gap is weird, or as long as I do the work well, they will likely be fine?


I think it really depends on the work culture. I had a friend when I was in in my 30s who was involved in the visual arts community (artists, performers) there was quite a lot of young female artists who networked with older male artists forming what I think were mutually beneficial liaisons. This was "culturally" acceptable.

But it wouldn't fly in an accounting or engineering (or corporate) firm where co-workers would feel uncomfortable and might complain,



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

30 Nov 2021, 12:29 am

Oh I'm not sure. It's a retail store environment.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

30 Nov 2021, 1:39 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh I'm not sure. It's a retail store environment.


You need to get a feel for it, but retail is kind of corporate so not sure.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

30 Nov 2021, 1:54 am

Okay thanks. Do you think this could affect future jobs, and career opportunities though? Like we live in a world where people are being cancelled for whatever reason, and if potential employers of future career opportunities were to look at my facebook, social media, and see my gf for example would they think what kind of guy is this for dating a woman so much younger, etc, let's not do business with him, etc?