Keep feeling jealous of NTs

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Ironically, if I just had Asperger's alone, I'd probably have more friends. Being on the very high-functioning end of the spectrum (like I am) and not being too severely affected by your symptoms, and naturally having some social skills, usually doesn't make it impossible to make friends, especially if they can mask and mimic social skills like I did. I know of a few different Aspies (some possible Aspies) who seem to have had more friendship experiences than I've ever had, even if they were short-lived. Me, from the age of 12-14 I literally had 0 friends. Never experienced the feeling of friends knocking on my door asking me to hang out. Didn't have any friends to walk to school with. I finally got some friends when I was at college but they were immature, unstable louts and ended up bullying me.

But I've been reading into ADHD and all the social problems ADHD causes describes me exactly. So having ADHD, social anxiety and Asperger's probably is the reason I do not succeed socially no matter how skilled I can be in some (social) areas.

I hate being lumbered with sh***y ASD. It feels so isolating and as a naturally social person it makes me feel depressed.

To me NT brains are super smart. They're like super technical iPhones. They can connect like Bluetooth and like practically read minds. Lucky for me I can feel and understand emotions but there must be something missing if I can't make friends with my NT peers.

I still can't get over how excluded I was when I first started my job a couple of years ago. It still hurts, even though a couple of the people no longer work there.
I felt just like them; I laughed at their jokes and was laid-back and more or less normal, except I wasn't as loud as 2 of them but I wasn't exactly quiet either. In the group there was a girl with mental health issues, 2 "ordinary" guys (one of the guys had a thing for the girl but the other guy had a wife), and one guy who had a bland personality and was single and still lived with his parents (I used to think he was on the spectrum but I don't think he is, he's just shy). They were all around my age, but the girl also included the teenage daughter of one of the other colleagues (who wasn't part of the group). The teenager didn't work there and was still at school, but somehow she got invited out ice-skating one Saturday with the girl - even though the teenager wasn't like her, she was more like me. But they preferred each other.

And they didn't know each other before they started working there - in fact I knew them before the mentally ill girl started working there, and she was new to the area so didn't know anybody already.

Socialising isn't that f*****g hard. Even I say so myself. It's easy. Eye contact, no problem for me. Smalltalk, interest in other people, expressing emotions - no problem for me. What more do people my age want to be my friend? I'm so crap.

Even for an Aspie this is ridiculous. A severely autistic child probably has more ability to make friends than I do. I get so frustrated with myself.