People having more success than me

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CubsBullsBears
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26 Nov 2021, 1:55 pm

Y’all remember last year when my dad got married and I had a thing for my new step moms niece? Since then, she and her brother have both gotten into relationships while I’m still single. A girl who rejected me a couple months ago got into a relationship. My cousin is in a relationship now. A girl I had a thing for back in junior year of HS has been in a relationship for a while. I’m sure there’s other examples. I’m sick of being alone!

I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow. I’m just so frustrated about being the 5th wheel of 20 somethings at the thanksgiving get together tonight. Whenever things like that happen, it doesn’t feel any better holding in that disheartening feeling.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Nov 2021, 7:36 pm

I know exactly how you feel.

I've been the "fifth wheel," too. Many times.

Feel better tomorrow.



Minuteman
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26 Nov 2021, 10:53 pm

That was me all through high school and college, and well into my 20s. When stuff like that kept happening repeatedly, that should have been my first tipoff that my problems were much deeper than just shyness or awkwardness.



CubsBullsBears
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26 Nov 2021, 11:09 pm

Minuteman wrote:
That was me all through high school and college, and well into my 20s. When stuff like that kept happening repeatedly, that should have been my first tipoff that my problems were much deeper than just shyness or awkwardness.
Were you in any relationships ever since then? Any that had/has lasted a long time?


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27 Nov 2021, 9:48 pm

Dude, you're fine. I didn't even get into a "relationship" at first, just a hookup with a cute aspie girl at your age. A lot of "relationship" things are just random at your qge and people don't understand them until they are older.

Again, play the guitar, go to the gym, don't try the as*hole routine cause your probably not good at it, ask questions, stay friends with a girl that wants to be your friend (unless she complains about her boyfriend to you), observe what other people in relationships are doing (the gentlemen, not the assholez), and don't compare yourself to others, those "relationships" are not as great as you might think they are.

You will get it eventually, it's just going to be tough in the beginning.



ProfessorJohn
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09 Dec 2021, 2:14 am

That was my life in graduate school. I was about the only one without a girlfriend/boyfriend. Guys much nerdier than me were getting married, etc. I know how frustrating it is, how much it hurts, etc. I remember when I got my first serious girlfriend. It was the first time in my life I really felt normal.



kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2021, 7:46 am

I know how it feels. I was the Pariah of even pariahs in high school,



Zakatar
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09 Dec 2021, 2:27 pm

This is me right now; my brother and two of my four cousins are in relationships (the two cousins both married their girlfriends in the past year), and my (Autistic) best friend, who is currently single, had his first relationship while still in high school. And it seems like every woman around my age that I meet is already in a relationship, seems they always make a point to bring up their boyfriends in conversation, like they’re trying to make me feel terrible or something…


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CubsBullsBears
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09 Dec 2021, 3:46 pm

My mom, my therapist, etc. always say stuff that gives me hope for the future. That perhaps in my later 20s or just one of these days I will find someone, even after I rant to them about all the girls that have rejected me. There have been quite a few of those in the past year alone. And then I see how some of you all on here, particularly guys, who are older if not much older than me who also have a hard time in relationships.

It seems impossible for me to determine where I will be 5, 10, 15 years from now. Whether I’ll be happily married with kids or if I’ll be in the same exact position I am now.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2021, 4:22 pm

The truth is: you never know.



ProfessorJohn
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11 Dec 2021, 2:56 am

I had pretty much given up all hope of ever getting married when I met my wife. We just really clicked and were engaged 3 1/2 months later. Been married for 22 years now. I guess I was 31 when we met.



nick007
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13 Dec 2021, 6:14 pm

Zakatar wrote:
And it seems like every woman around my age that I meet is already in a relationship, seems they always make a point to bring up their boyfriends in conversation, like they’re trying to make me feel terrible or something…
If they mostly mention their bf when you 1st meet, they may be doing that to prevent guys from hitting on them. Guys tend to be the 1s who make the 1st direct move with asking out the opposite sex. I know 1st hand that it can be very akward for a guy to hit on a woman who is already in a relationship :oops: I'm sure it must also be very akward for them to be hit on. If those women are regurarly mentioning their boyfriends after they know you are aware, they may be doing it because they are kinda obsessed & like talking about em, kinda like some of us Aspies talk about our special interests a lot. BTW both my exes as well as my current girlfriend were,are my special interests & I sure did talk about em a lot.


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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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14 Dec 2021, 10:24 pm

Quote:
And it seems like every woman around my age that I meet is already in a relationship, seems they always make a point to bring up their boyfriends in conversation, like they’re trying to make me feel terrible or something…


It's a cheap trick.. I mean sometimes it's a legit, till you see like 3 more suitable guys hitting on them with no problem. Until you see a pic of them with their boyfriend, assume it's more of a rude tactic than anything else. And don't let it stop you from talking to them.



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Dec 2021, 7:38 am

Eight billion people in the solar system

Only one of them is the most successful (strongest, best, smartest)

Even that one is not the same one every day

My manager corpse will never be particularly good at anything

But I am 38 years old and my worthless corpse has better things to worry about than inferiority. For example, fecal incontinence, work



kraftiekortie
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15 Dec 2021, 8:20 am

I never made manager.....



Sweetleaf
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16 Dec 2021, 12:29 pm

OutUponATreeBranch wrote:
Quote:
And it seems like every woman around my age that I meet is already in a relationship, seems they always make a point to bring up their boyfriends in conversation, like they’re trying to make me feel terrible or something…


It's a cheap trick.. I mean sometimes it's a legit, till you see like 3 more suitable guys hitting on them with no problem. Until you see a pic of them with their boyfriend, assume it's more of a rude tactic than anything else. And don't let it stop you from talking to them.


I think I'd just mention it so they know I'm not available and save us both the embarassment. I did have a kind of embarrassing incident one time in a past relationship when I was in college. There was a guy I was talking to who hung out at table a bunch of us would go sit at and socialize and one time he wanted to hang out...I totally thought he just meant as friends. But when we went to hang out he got kind of close and touched me in a sort of intimate way and that is when I had to tell him I already have a boyfriend. He was embarrassed I was embarrassed and the whole thing sucked.

I suppose I feel if I had talked about my boyfriend at that table then that guy would have have known about it beforehand and we could have avoided that whole awkward interaction.


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