Does it sound bad when a guy says this about sex to his gf?

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ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 12:07 pm

If my gf asks me who was the best sex I had with before and her, and asked me what made sex with those women the best. I couldn't really put my finger on it, at the time, but now that I thought about it, I guess the answer is, is that they just did whatever I wanted. But if she asks me again and I give that answer, will that sound bad, like a woman is the best in bed, if she just does whatever the guy wants?

It can go both ways too as man can be the best in bed by doing whatever the woman wants to. But still does it sound bad, like the guy is into a people pleaser type who can't say no, if that makes sense?



katzhutte
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28 Nov 2021, 12:19 pm

Image



hurtloam
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28 Nov 2021, 12:54 pm

"I enjoy good communication in the bedroom".

Fixed it for you.



ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 1:10 pm

Oh okay, but if I say that, isn't that kind of vague and not very specific?



MaxE
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28 Nov 2021, 1:29 pm

You're lucky she's willing to discuss former sex partners, as some women get upset by the topic.

My suggestion is to describe specific things that you liked and explain what you liked about those things, then give her an opportunity to see for herself by having her do some of those things and observing how you react.


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ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 2:20 pm

Oh okay. She asked me about it so I guess that means she is likely okay with discussing it if she brought it up?

I could talk to her about it, it's just that if I say I was turned on by women being submissive and going out of their way, that might sound bad, or so I thought.



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28 Nov 2021, 2:39 pm

MaxE wrote:
some women get upset by the topic.


guilt and regret maybe.


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ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 3:38 pm

Guilt and regret over what?



theprisoner
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28 Nov 2021, 3:46 pm

You might not want to find out.


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28 Nov 2021, 4:07 pm

You're treading on thin ice, but it's worth it if you can make it to the shore.

I think you can try to talk about, but you better damn well ask what she likes as well.



ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 4:37 pm

Oh yeah for sure, I can ask what she likes as well, and I already have. However, I feel she will ask this question again likely, so if she does, how should I respond then?



cyberdad
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28 Nov 2021, 6:03 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh yeah for sure, I can ask what she likes as well, and I already have. However, I feel she will ask this question again likely, so if she does, how should I respond then?


Politely tell her she's the best



ironpony
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28 Nov 2021, 6:09 pm

Oh well the thing is is that she is very sexually inexeperienced though. So she wants to gain experience though, based on what I know of my past experiences of those I thought were the best. But if I tell her she is the best, even at her little experience level, she's not going to believe me because she is inexperienced.



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28 Nov 2021, 6:37 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh well the thing is is that she is very sexually inexeperienced though. So she wants to gain experience though, based on what I know of my past experiences of those I thought were the best. But if I tell her she is the best, even at her little experience level, she's not going to believe me because she is inexperienced.


Probably best to be honest, she wouldn't have asked if she didn't want to know. Since she's inexperienced she may be having a hard time getting ideas of what to do, so maybe she is hoping that could give her some ideas.

I am kind of sexually inexperienced, though I lost my virginity long ago I didn't really explore what things I'd like or anything just kind of went along with it for my 20's. So, I sometimes look at amatuer porn on reddit...to get ideas.

Just make sure she knows you care about her pleasure to, and it's not just all about you.


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28 Nov 2021, 7:03 pm

I don't think what you said is inherently bad, assuming what you want isn't anything she finds to be very unpleasant.

It's also about what you do for her and you also doing what she wants. If it's give-and-take, then it's not selfish.



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28 Nov 2021, 7:15 pm

I think there are ways to discuss this without issue, but I advise against talking about anything involving exs.

Instead you can depersonalize it with one of those sex books, unless she has an aversion to such things.

Not the ones with the sexy couples, the ones with the drawings :p