How to start an ASD relationship

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CoffeeAndLollipops
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01 Dec 2021, 6:48 pm

So there ist this Guy...
Short Story: we are colleagues (He is a supplier), and I feel drawn to him since the first moment we met. It was before I got hints that he probably has ASD and before I found out I might have ASD (which was weirdly the same month).
I worry that showing to many signs of liking him will harrass him. I don't want him to feel bad around me. Also I don't know If I can show him I like him more than the others without my other Colleagues finding out and acting weird because I might be too obvious for NTs... or my boss finding out...

Should I Talk to him? But how without him feeling harrased or pressured or uncomfortable? Or should I let it run it's course and wait for him to act?? What If He doesnt act because i am a "Client"?

Long Story: First time I Met him was 1,5years ago. I was getting to know everyone in the Office and when I Met hin I thanked god I was in a relationship because I felt so attracted I could not think straight during our Meeting. I knew I would be in hell once I would be single again. So for the time being I kept away from him completely to stay loyal to my bf even If contact would have been beneficial for work...then there was the Project where we Had to work together. And then there was the breakup with my Boyfriend. Both things did not have any correlation btw.
So I got to know him more. I realised that I did Not only Like him because He was beautiful, but because He was fearless, and open-minded, and intelligent and you know ... Great. Everyone Likes him...So He was beautiful inside and outside....and I was in heaven and in hell.
Parallel: One weekend I Met friends. And the day was so weird and they said so many times that they were people of feelings and insisted that I was not and that my brain worked differently from theirs that in the evening I googled their comments...and so the rest of the evening I watched austist YouTube....i remember stuff from me growing Up and stuff from me every day that fits the description. Well...it's been some confusing past weeks .

Anyway..during working together He felt so familiar, Once he by accident touched my hand, it felt like my own. He seemed so innocent and vulnerable to me during our talks. It seemed like I could See my inside from the outside in him. The parts I do not show to anyone. Its so weird.

He was close and i felt His body-warmth. It was so comfortable. But He never touched me. Which is probably good because I Had nightmares of Sex with him including too much body-contact. I am scared of being overwhelmed and running away even If i want to Touch him all the time( that was before i thought i might have asd, how could i muss that?) . He stares at me alot though...and i enjoy staring Back. It's so intense it's like touching without touching. Btw I think He at least Likes my Body as i catched hin staring at my breasts.

So then during our working Date his colleague made a comment about him being autistic.
And since then I switched my YouTube Lessons from "how men Show their interest" to how Relationships Work in the spectrum. Perhaps this is the reason I feel so attracted to him.

Anyway, alot of stuff ist Happening inside my brain at the moment. I feel i can be myself with him which ruins my behaviour with my NT colleagues. But it feels so good to let go.

So yeah, I would love to meet him Outside of Work. And yeah, in my head we are already a couple...i am sorry for being creepy.

I am scared to either harrass him or not show him clearly enough that I like him so He can get a move on.
So what do you guys think I should do? And If you are in an ND-ND relationship, how did it Happen ? How did you know your Partner liked you without overstepping and without scaring Them?



MaxE
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03 Dec 2021, 7:48 am

How old are you? How old is he?


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kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2021, 10:26 am

Make sure you give him a coffee cake with his coffee, rather than a lollipop :P

Seriously, I hope you both are successful in finding each other, if you both want to find each other.



Sweetleaf
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03 Dec 2021, 1:11 pm

Maybe you should ask him out, see if he wants to go for a coffee or something.

Doesn't always have to be the guy who makes that first move.


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CoffeeAndLollipops
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04 Dec 2021, 4:24 am

@maxE I am 36. I think He is the same age +/-5yrs but it's hard to Tell as he seems so young and innocent....

@kraftiekortie thank you for the good wishes, i can only Hope it'll Work Out. And No, I can't bring him coffee and cake at work...everybody would know I like him as I am not that nice to anyone Else

@Sweetleaf Well that's what i did with both my exes. And i don't want to do it this time because it will be much harder for me to find out if he has enough Initiative and fearlessness later on. Also He is a Client and i don't want to harass him....