When will it end?

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Yep, I'm making super angsty annoying posts again.
I feel like I am for sure a faker. I never have a moment where I realize that I'm actually autistic. I really can't tell if this is right or not. I can't tell if I'm just so normal that I wanted to be different so I faked this.
I feel like I'm a master of lying and making people believe what I want them to believe. May sound strange, but I feel like my brain is a separate entity, some kind of selfish bastard that is controlling me and telling me "you're right" and "there's nothing to worry about" and somehow generating just the right attitudes and answers to deceive people.
Why am I doing this? Why? Will I ever know which person is me?
I'm supposed to look at a list of symptoms and be like "that's me", but instead I find myself wondering "do I do that, and if not, how can I make myself look like I do?"
Also I feel like if the diagnosis was true, I wouldn't be happy about it, because I would be "suffering so much".
I feel like I will ruin my reputation on this forum by saying how I truly feel, but everything is just getting worse, and I can't do anything I want because all I can do is sit here and think about how much of a faker I am and how devastating it would be if people "figured me out" or if I got my diagnosis taken away.

Do not worry.

You are very likely not knowing who you are yet anyway, so don't worry. At least you are thinking.

Most if the world does things that they don't know why they have done it, but they just do it and do not think about it.
You think which is a thing that I find good, because not many think about what they think about. You do think. It makes a difference.

Its very difficult being young. Sounds like your are having an identity crisis.

After Christmas I'm going to make crafts and sell them, so I'm hoping that will help me ignore this. I used to have a "job", but I hated it and I ended up having a burnout.
Hopefully I will like making stuff more, and I will try to be fair with myself and set reasonable prices this time, instead of working nonstop for days for $4.

Nothing you posted at all gave me sense you were a "faker" or a "liar" or anything of that sense. What most people are probably just thinking is, it's not fun being a kid and questioning whether you have Asperger's or autism or what not.

The diagnosis is not you. Don't overwork yourself, crafts are supposed to be fun.