Not taking it as a compliment?

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Why don't you do yourself a favour and stop going to places where you are clearly not wanted or appreciated.

No one on this board is insulting you but you do seem to enjoy going to places where people do insult you.

I have witnessed bullies behave in a similar way…

“She made me feel bad by crying after I told her she needed to lose weight. What a b****!”

I am not a bully either

No one said you were.

Do you think that your behaviour is appropriate yourself?

Do you think it's normal to just burst in on a group of people completely uninvited and unwanted and then just expect them to accept you into their group?

I would accept anyone who burst in uninvited


I am just desperate to make friends my own age instead of people much older than me all the time. It’s only old people who are tolerant of me

Yes you are desperate. But you can't expect people to just accept you into their social circle because you're desperate and lonely. That's not how it works.

I don't know what the solution to your loneliness is but I do know that your behaviour isn't helping you.

If I was out with my friends or even on my own and you just came up to me and started talking to me (giving compliments or just being friendly) I wouldn't be too happy. I would move away from you or I would be hostile towards you. Your company isn't wanted.

That's as simple as it is.

Being long term unemployed doesn't help either

How the hell do you afford to go to pubs so often if you are unemployed?

Are there any groups you could join in the day time in your area for the unemployed?

I could join the autistic society

You could. It might be a starting point.

It would probably go better than harassing people who've made it clear they're not your friends at the bar.

Well my autism makes it hard to understand boundries so it's not my all my fault. Stop criticising me for things I can't help.

Joining a group of people in an environment that is welcoming to outsiders or new people is far better that just bursting in on groups of people who are hostile because your company is unwelcome.

I don't know what part of the country you live in and don't tell us but there are bound to be loads of groups for you to join.

Do you sign on at the jobcentre? If so your work coach could help you with it. My work coach is always sending me links to places I can join. Just to get me out of the house.

It's not as though this is a brand new issue you don't understand. You've posted about how your interactions at the bar have been going for ages and often describe people being very blunt with you when establishing their boundaries.

When the other people are that clear it's not reasonable to insist the problem is entirely with a failure to understand boundaries. It's one thing to make that claim when they've been ambiguous but you've described people being so explicitly clear that it's hard to believe that misunderstanding is still a factor.

You owe both yourself and those other people to stop harassing them. You owe yourself new strategies for dealing with feeling lonely because subjecting yourself to more blunt rejection is only hurting you. You owe those other people enough respect to stop bothering them when they've made it clear they don't want to interact or being friends.

They also should show more respect and not be so hostile as well. They could be more polite about it at least.