"you need to be more social"

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Even my stupid 504 plan says that. I don't even need it, I can get by without it.

Humour on :

"you need to be more social"
"No, you need to get out less and find an all consuming interest"

Actually one of the reasons I don't go to the drop in right now is lots of dry coughs there....

But anyway, I sometimes wish to be social, sometimes don't...

But I wish to be social with people with similar interests, but I find that many find me too intense...

I play Pokemon to take my mind off trauma... birds have been with me forever... But when people realize my interests go way over the top... Even people interested in the topic get turned off...

Except some of the people in my FB groups... Some of them go beyond me... If the topic comes up many are autistic...

according to your post you are thirty nine years old.

if you have made it that long and far without being too social, you do not need to be more social (unless, of course, your situation changed in some extreme way that requires you to be more social. for example, customer service job)

psychologists have been telling me things like that since i was about 18 (when i first started going to psychologists).

now i am 38.

all things equal, if i were more social, my "life" would have been better. (fine).

however, not all things are equal.

nobody is perfect.

things are not always the way they appear.

you might socialize with the wrong person, and then the results could be pretty bad.

failure to socialize with the correct person, is better than socializing with the wrong person.

and besides, how much better would my "life" have been, if i were more social? cost benefit analysis.

for autistics, the "cost" of being social is larger than the "cost" of being social, for neurotypicals.

for autistics, the "benefit" of being social is smaller than the "benefit" of being social, for neurotypicals.

every situation is different

the greatest strategy in one situation, is not the greatest situation in a different situation


every situation is constantly changing

This incident reminds me of a recent thing that happened to me. The doctor I had for my broken meniscus tried to convince me to quickly get injectable procedure which was very expensive on my part and he had no gear for. I asked where's the ultrasound? Nurse goes like "What ultrasound?" and he starts saying that there needs not be an ultrasound that ultrasounds dont see inside the knee when all tests dated and that this procedure is based on have been done with ultrasound and cabinets which do it suggest it only be done so.

This scary old village house without gear on my knee 1 day before my trip to Vienna which he rushed me into which could give me an infection to my knee which would leave me unable to walk and damage my meniscus further? And then he gets angry and states the internet data BS thing.

A day earlier he appears at the cabinet with a bloody joker tshirt like the creep that he is instead of wearing professional attire like the others.

Honestly a lot of stress before my Vienna trip which also affected my relationship more than it needed to be at that stressful point. Like my fiance said "who suggests interventions before a trip?" and like the driver said "they often try to rush you into procedures so you dont have the time to think it through" besides i dont think he was even qualified when i read what hes supposed to do for that job, and the experience he had was doing it on "blind" how the heck can that be called experience. You dont know if it was successful as it needs to be exactly in the broken fragment, which he previously said himself.

I'm so glad I never went through with it. I was sitting right there on the bed with the nurse by. He didn't even give me a diagnosis the day before. All I had was the MRI diagnosis and film which he looked at which states degradable damage 1st and 2nd degree. He said 1 shot could cure it forever if I do it "now."

Last edited by Rexi on 08 Dec 2021, 5:17 am, edited 3 times in total.

You are my twin I have the same problem... also love Pokemon and birds. To the extent that I've memorised most of the different bird calls where I live so I can identify them by hearing them.

When I find people with the same interests I eventually realise they do not have the same intensity of interest and I think that's the main reason why I struggle socially.

I seem to flip-flop between being extremely withdrawn to being over the top and I can't seem to find the right balance to appear "normal" to other people.

A minority opinion most likely; but I don't need to be more social. I need to be the most "searching for" and "being" of the most authentic "me" that there can be!!

I don't feel an impending need to be "social" myself.....

This is insanely insightful. Who on Earth are you?

Thanks. I'm Angel; newly diagnosed (Oct. 13th, 2021) with ASD lvl 2.

Nah....Angel doesn't need to be more "social" than he already is!

You are very intelligent, Angel.

I'm sure it could be a great thing if a person could acquire a large number of staunch, genuine, supportive friends. But there's more to achieving that than just going to a drop-in centre and winging it. What's missing is advice on how to do it and how to do it safely. Plus, if you're happy as you are, why mess with it?

Going to bed by 11pm essential for human happiness? I'd love to know how anybody would draw that conclusion. As you say, you need a certain amount of sleep, and as long as you get that, it doesn't much matter when you sleep, as long as you're awake when you need to be.

It sounds to me like they're just glibly making up advice off the cuff without due diligence or proper attention to detail.