Clean Christian jokes.

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What did Adam say when he was asked his favorite holiday?

“It’s Christmas, Eve.”

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born into the Trump family?

A: God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

How do you get out of Sunday school?

Tell your mum that you are Sikh.

When is an Easter egg not an Easter egg?

All the time, because they're Southern?

Or maybe when Jesus doesn't bleed. 0.0

What did the snowman say to the three wise men?

Climate change is real!

When it’s not Easter.Then it’s just an egg.

Once, while teaching Sunday School, I was telling the class the story of the Prodigal Son. Wishing to emphasize the resentful attitude of the elder brother, I laid stress on this part of the parable.

After describing the rejoicing of the household over the return of the wayward son, I spoke of one who, in the midst of the festivities, failed to share in the jubilant spirit of the occasion. "Can anybody in the class", I asked, "tell me who this was?"

Nine year old Sarah had been listening sympathetically to the story. She waved her hand in the air. "I know!" she said beamingly. "It was the fatted calf!"

OK time for egg cellent puns before fry day.

A man dies and mets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."

"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."

"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."

"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."

"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."

"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."

"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"

"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be only by the grace of God that'll I'll ever get into this place."

"BINGO!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in!"

Yes I rather like that one - Well done.

In Heaven, God opens a can of Tuna. Mother Teresa asks him: Why do they eat like Kings in hell when we in heaven eat like paupers?

God responds: For two people it does not pay to cook.

What did pirates call Noah’s boat?

“The arrrrrrk.”

One day Jesus sees a bunch of people about to stone a woman to death for adultery. So he says "Let one among you who is without sin cast the first stone." Everything goes quiet for a little while, then this old lady picks up a huge rock and flings it at the condemned woman, and everybody else then wades in. Jesus turns to the old lady and says, "Sometimes, mother, you can be really annoying."