I met a psychopath and whooo-boy was it interesting.

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txfz1
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07 Jan 2022, 11:46 pm

Postulated based the extreme; seven levels with basic population bell curve, zero is no empathy and six at remarkable empathy.



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08 Jan 2022, 1:12 am

I once read "The Psychopath next Door" and I learned that one of the things I learned that a non violent psychopath does is they leech in society and mooch off people. It made me think of my ex and I wondered if he was a psychopath as well. He seemed to have no regard for other peoples feelings and when he said he will not change for other people and he wants to be accepted for who he is, it meant he will not accommodate your feelings and care about your perspectives. He also expected me to be his mommy and provide for him than getting off his ass and getting a job and going to work without making excuses and moaning about his job and how "ret*d" life is that you have to pay to live and eat and everything and he didn't want to get his license because his reason was "it's cheaper if you take me" because he didn't want to pay for gas and car maintenance. He didn't care about my own personal time.

So was he a hidden psychopath?


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txfz1
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08 Jan 2022, 10:17 am

I'm not sure of the definition of a "hidden psychopath", I could see the traits early but that could just be me knowing the behavior. He claimed to be violent and even made some violent threats. I never push him to the very edge as I think he was capable of becoming explosively violent.



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09 Jan 2022, 5:45 pm

my time working for uncle sam exposed me to the hot form of ASPD [what generally are termed "sociopaths"] as well as the cold form ["psychopaths"] - around both of them you had to always watch your back, but the former kind you could spot a mile away, or at least hear a mile away. the latter kind are very sneaky, you have to catch them doing what they ought not to have been doing. you can't let them see that you caught them or else your days will be numbered. i trusted the hot ones ["keep your enemies close where you can more easily see them] more than the cold ones. a hot one IMHO would be POTUS #45, a cold one would be ted bundy.



txfz1
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09 Jan 2022, 5:55 pm

auntblabby wrote:
my time working for uncle sam exposed me to the hot form of ASPD [what generally are termed "sociopaths"] as well as the cold form ["psychopaths"] - around both of them you had to always watch your back, but the former kind you could spot a mile away, or at least hear a mile away. the latter kind are very sneaky, you have to catch them doing what they ought not to have been doing. you can't let them see that you caught them or else your days will be numbered. i trusted the hot ones ["keep your enemies close where you can more easily see them] more than the cold ones. a hot one IMHO would be POTUS #45, a cold one would be ted bundy.


Okay, I understand now, he was a hidden psychopath. I did everything as you wrote except I had to keep a cold one close as so I could more easily see them. I never acknowledged his acts or let him know I knew directly. It was not a pleasant season for me and I'm still de-stressing after leaving two months ago.

Edit:
I was kinda proud of myself until I realized I had experienced this very same thing type-P in the fourth grade, he was a San Antonio gang leader...we also became "friends."



Last edited by txfz1 on 09 Jan 2022, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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09 Jan 2022, 6:01 pm

txfz1 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
my time working for uncle sam exposed me to the hot form of ASPD [what generally are termed "sociopaths"] as well as the cold form ["psychopaths"] - around both of them you had to always watch your back, but the former kind you could spot a mile away, or at least hear a mile away. the latter kind are very sneaky, you have to catch them doing what they ought not to have been doing. you can't let them see that you caught them or else your days will be numbered. i trusted the hot ones ["keep your enemies close where you can more easily see them] more than the cold ones. a hot one IMHO would be POTUS #45, a cold one would be ted bundy.


Okay, I understand now, he was a hidden psychopath. I did everything as you wrote except I had to keep a cold one close as so I could more easily see them. I never acknowledged his acts or let him know I knew directly. It was not a pleasant season for me and I'm still de-stressing after leaving two months ago.

i'm sorry you had to go through that but it undoubtedly toughened you and made you more able to keep your wits about you in future similar situations. the ones i had to deal with gave me adrenal exhaustion and it took years away from them to heal.



txfz1
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09 Jan 2022, 6:25 pm

I had two shutdowns and it's been a decade plus since I'd had one, still two too many. TBH, I also had some fun with it.



txfz1
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09 Jan 2022, 10:38 pm

theprisoner wrote:
I'm not clear on the zero-pos / zero-neg. Is that really scientific fact. Or something Simon Baron-Cohen came up with. A.K.A Postulated.


I have to correct my answer from this:

Postulated based the extreme; seven levels with basic population bell curve, zero is no empathy and six at remarkable empathy.

To add:

There is an empathy gene or genetic element but is not the smoking gun. Twins and adoption studies were used. I would not say it is a fact but gives a good indicator. I can dig out the studies info if you are interested.



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09 Jan 2022, 11:01 pm

^ I have empathy for animals and loved ones and people I like, after that it's a steep curve into indifference. I think most with ASD, have some kind of empathy disorder. Either too much, too little, or a disconnect between their emotions and their outer expressions. Their manifestations. Flat affect, may make it appear like a person is cold hearted and made of stone, but on the inside they may feel great wave of emotions. You would never really know the extent of happiness, or sadness. Because I imagine they would find it hard to show It.


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09 Jan 2022, 11:35 pm

theprisoner wrote:
^ I have empathy for animals and loved ones and people I like, after that it's a steep curve into indifference. I think most with ASD, have some kind of empathy disorder. Either too much, too little, or a disconnect between their emotions and their outer expressions. Their manifestations. Flat affect, may make it appear like a person is cold hearted and made of stone, but on the inside they may feel great wave of emotions. You would never really know the extent of happiness, or sadness. Because I imagine they would find it hard to show It.

or as Van Gogh poignantly said, “One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever came to sit by it. Passers-by see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on their way.



txfz1
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09 Jan 2022, 11:55 pm

I have it for animals but that's about it. I knew I like Van Gogh for some reason, seeing his physical art is the experience not to be missed.

I always liked the conversation of "Where do you get your morals?" before I was enlightened. The Sam Harris, Jordan Peterson debates are a good listen, especially about religion and free will. I had an experience based fear I could be type-P, I decided not to do harm a couple of times. I'm pleased to know or I have more confidence that I have some morals.



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10 Jan 2022, 3:54 am

txfz1 wrote:
I got multi red flags the very first second of introduction. Odd or weird dress (50's wearing a youth hoodie at work), no eye contact, no touch or handshake, monotonic voice, and the boss introduced him as Jason, and his only words were, "You can call me Jay." This confused me as was he referring to the old SNL joke or did he preferred Jay. All the others around us looked perplexed as they all call him Jason, so it seem weird correcting the boss. Turns out he was the boss of the group. The really weird part is I liked the guy, our time together was too long, but I learned some in the end. I am thankful I noted the red flags, one is a warning but five...alert.

These all sound like autistic traits, not psychopath traits.


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txfz1
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10 Jan 2022, 10:53 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
These all sound like autistic traits, not psychopath traits.


I agree but later in our conversations I learned more about him; there was no remorse or guilt, I watched him turn on the superficial charm, and the manipulation/control was obvious. He had both cognitive and affective empathy but his compassion was skewed. He has no moral code which at the time, I did not truly know if I had one. Anxiety is a question I cannot answer about him, as I think he had some degree of it (more than NTs). This encounter allowed me to look at the similarities at the extremes between the two disorders. The key question in my mind was if I on the spectrum or a psychopath. I did not start researching for myself until afterwards. I've since learned I have a moral code that I've defined without empathy (trial and error). Not all psychopaths are the "sharks in suits" just as we are not all "Rainmens." The anxiety is an outlier for him.

There is also evidence that he would try to fake it, he thought I might be gay and then became flaming. When it finally dawned I wasn't gay, he then reverted back to hetro. The work place is STEM and lots of people had the aspie traits.



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11 Jan 2022, 7:48 pm

I've run into the psychopaths presenting in the different ways, the "good" and "bad".

I can sum up the "good" in a fairly simple example: A father told his son to look after his mother, as she was of no use anymore due to illness (hence, discarded without care). You might not see it here at first, but it's the psychopath poisoning the mind, knowing that the son would have done it anyway because he knew the son, but getting tacit approval from the son that he's doing what the father wants, once gone. He needed to still have control over the outcome. A psychopath above all wants others to give them what they want and power over the same.

The "bad" are the same way, but they use violence and similar means to get what they want and the power they desire. Got some examples there from my former life, but personal, and it's quite obvious compared to the "good" ones. The "good" ones are the ones most people miss until it's too late and they've been used up and thrown away.

The former are the ones that hurt you personally the most. The latter do that PTSD stuff, but if you know them, it'll be personal too (just that PTSD stuff for me and the "bad" ones). My life was kinda ruined by the psychopaths, but that's how luck roles (even if autistic and with OCD, I can still get by with those).



txfz1
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11 Jan 2022, 9:50 pm

He was deffo a bad one, I never saw violence but there were many threats of it. I will never forget the look when we said goodbye. He started, "You're a good dude." Me, "Thanks, call me when you need to be bailed out of jail." Biggest eyes I've ever seen from him and me grinning like a fool. My cognitive is pretty bad but I think I saw the explosion wanting to come out.



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19 Jan 2022, 12:10 pm

People like that often think in very black and white because to them, they want to know who are superior and inferior. However, his common goal is to climb to the top and will use any unethical or abnormal way of getting there. In his mind, you're someone who he will take under his wing so he can take advantage of you. They will do whatever it means necessary to get whatever they want, even if it's breaking the law. They also have no conscious or remorse for the bad things they do to people. In fact, a psychoth will often enjoy hurting people just for the thrill of it.

However, you have a sociopath who do those things to get whatever they want and all kinds of things. In fact, I used to be friends with a mother and and daughter who turned out to be sociopaths when I was growing up and for first year of adulthood.
When my friend and I were kids, you could tell she had mild CD based on her bad behavior and the way other kids our age felt about her. Just about all of them said that they thought she was mean, which she certainly was to me. She also lied all the time.

Her mother also did things that my parents thought were off or questionable.

Both of them also ganged up on me and would constantly put me and criticize me about the way I looked.