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Would women in their 40s be happy with men in their 20s?

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AngelL
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24 Dec 2021, 4:23 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I tried it and the younger guy treated me like a placeholder til he found what he really wanted. I'm hesitant now. I don't want to be the placeholder again.


I'm sorry that happened to you; no one deserves to be used. Personally, I believe that this was more about the human being in question than it was the age. Some people are selfish and self-centered; other are not. I do not think that's an 'age thing' per se, although it seems to me that more people grow out of being selfish and self-centered than grow into it. Even the people who get taken advantage of again and again, and who swear that they're going to start treating people the same way, don't seem to really have it in them. Also, younger men are frequently driven by hormones that have subsided some by the time they reach middle age.



hurtloam
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24 Dec 2021, 5:20 pm

I think most people are if the "you'll do for now" mindset. I feel like I'm the odd one out.



cyberdad
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24 Dec 2021, 5:34 pm

Older women in the 40s will only consider men in the 20s as an option (if they are open to it) for sex

Hurtloam is correct, men will only consider you a placeholder till something younger comes along

Most men think like Leanardo De Caprio when they have all options open to them.



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24 Dec 2021, 5:46 pm

Older women like younger men sometimes because they make them feel youthful and full of energy.



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24 Dec 2021, 5:46 pm

Oh okay. And yes, not good to use someone as a placeholder, yes. But also, most men probably do not have as many options as De Caprio, so it's probably a non-issue for most therefore?



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24 Dec 2021, 5:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Older women like younger men sometimes because they make them feel youthful and full of energy.


Refer to the venn diagram



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24 Dec 2021, 5:51 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. And yes, not good to use someone as a placeholder, yes. But also, most men probably do not have as many options as De Caprio, so it's probably a non-issue for most therefore?


To me it's a sliding scale. Just look at the numbers. I think most men in their 30s aim for a girl who is slightly younger (usually between 2-7 years younger) so they can have kids. Typically a 30 year old man would marry a 25-30 yr old girl because it gives them reproductive options.

Even a 40 year old man who is financially settled will aim for a girl in her 30s as there is still a chance to have 1-2 kids.



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24 Dec 2021, 5:59 pm

Oh okay. Well a lot of people complain about men going for younger women it seems, but isn't it the laws of nature if guys can still have kids at whatever age, compared to women?



AngelL
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24 Dec 2021, 8:58 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Most men think like Leanardo De Caprio when they have all options open to them.


He had a lot harder time (and less real options) than you think.



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25 Dec 2021, 12:38 am

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
If two people are compatible, why question it just because they're different ages?

My thoughts exactly -- as long as one's partner is, at least, of legal age.

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Couples can break up for many reasons that have nothing to do with age. My partner is significantly younger, but this is the best relationship I've had.

Most of my partners over the years have been far apart from me in age, in one direction or the other. Other kinds of commonalities have been much more important to me than demographic traits such as age.


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25 Dec 2021, 2:49 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Older women like younger men sometimes because they make them feel youthful and full of energy.


I hear older people saying that being around young people makes them feel young, but it just makes me feel old. Our perspectives are just so different.

I look younger than I am and was befriended by some people in their 20s when I first moved to this city, but I had to slip out of the group because they just made me feel old and pathetic. They don't think I am and don't treat me like I am, but their drama and their outlook are different to mine. It's hard to explain. They're still hopeful, but I know that dreams don't just die, they get machine gunned down by life. I've lived it.

Being autistic if probably the issue. My life trajectory was never going to be the same as theirs. Maybe they will get what they want.



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25 Dec 2021, 3:06 am

hurtloam wrote:
I think most people are if the "you'll do for now" mindset. I feel like I'm the odd one out.


True. That's such a gross feeling, too. Relationships can feel like such mind games.



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25 Dec 2021, 4:37 am

AngelL wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Most men think like Leanardo De Caprio when they have all options open to them.


He had a lot harder time (and less real options) than you think.


I don't understand?



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25 Dec 2021, 6:27 am

De Caprio doesn’t have the gift of a private life.



AngelL
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25 Dec 2021, 8:44 am

cyberdad wrote:
AngelL wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Most men think like Leanardo De Caprio when they have all options open to them.


He had a lot harder time (and less real options) than you think.


I don't understand?


Kraftie's point is worth noting - that he doesn't have a private life. Every woman Leo met/meets already "knows" him. They are dreaming about being in a relationship with this idea they have of him - not him. The number of women who have declared their undying love for him within moments of first meeting him is astronomical. How can you have a relationship with someone who refuses to see you - because they'd prefer their fantasy of you.

I have such a relationship with my father. He has this image of a son who is twelve-feet tall and bulletproof. I am not autistic and I don't have mental illness. That son doesn't exist, but it is the one he sees when he looks at me. As a result, my relationship with my father shall always be superficial and the intimacy I crave with him will remain elusive.



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25 Dec 2021, 9:15 am

AngelL wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
AngelL wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Most men think like Leanardo De Caprio when they have all options open to them.


He had a lot harder time (and less real options) than you think.


I don't understand?


Kraftie's point is worth noting - that he doesn't have a private life. Every woman Leo met/meets already "knows" him. They are dreaming about being in a relationship with this idea they have of him - not him. The number of women who have declared their undying love for him within moments of first meeting him is astronomical. How can you have a relationship with someone who refuses to see you - because they'd prefer their fantasy of you.

I have such a relationship with my father. He has this image of a son who is twelve-feet tall and bulletproof. I am not autistic and I don't have mental illness. That son doesn't exist, but it is the one he sees when he looks at me. As a result, my relationship with my father shall always be superficial and the intimacy I crave with him will remain elusive.


My Dad was precisely like this with me until I officially got diagnosed with Autism, nearly 5 years ago (a process which I drove solely myself). Still to this day, he 'forgets' I have Autism (or any disability that I have), even though it's the main thing about me. 8O