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Would women in their 40s be happy with men in their 20s?

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hurtloam
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23 Dec 2021, 10:32 am

Aspinator wrote:
I personally feel the emotional age difference not the chronological age would prevent dating.


This.

Your perspective on things changes as you get older. Also energy levels.

I don't think many young men want an older woman with less energy and more stability than themselves. I dated a younger man briefly and I felt he resented my more comfortable place in life. He was still striving for those things. I think if you're a poor older woman who the young man can provide for his ego won't be too hurt.

It's their egos I don't have time for.

If I met a younger man who was down-to-earth and not bothered by status I would go for it. But he would need to persue me. Older women don't tend to be attractive to younger men and I would be a fool to assume he was any different.



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23 Dec 2021, 12:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know of supposed "high-quality" men in their 20's who have dated older women.


But I bet they are very high quality older women if they are in their 40s.



hurtloam
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23 Dec 2021, 1:01 pm

rse92 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I know of supposed "high-quality" men in their 20's who have dated older women.


But I bet they are very high quality older women if they are in their 40s.


We do tend to live beyond our 40s. It's not a special thing to reach 40

I'm pulling your leg. Don't be a jerk. I know lots of quality women in their 40s.



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23 Dec 2021, 1:11 pm

AngelL wrote:
Aspinator wrote:
I personally feel the emotional age difference not the chronological age would prevent dating.


Amen. It seems to me that if, at a fifty-six years old, I am emotionally compatible with a twenty-eight year old woman, then she is maturing twice as fast as I am. How long before she outgrows me?


Emotional age often has nothing in common with chronological age. The ages that are put into law for various things are merely generalisations and are subject to having the 'goal-posts' shifted in line with societal changes.



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23 Dec 2021, 1:25 pm

hurtloam wrote:
rse92 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I know of supposed "high-quality" men in their 20's who have dated older women.


But I bet they are very high quality older women if they are in their 40s.


We do tend to live beyond our 40s. It's not a special thing to reach 40

I'm pulling your leg. Don't be a jerk. I know lots of quality women in their 40s.


With all due respect, I am not sure that your idea of a quality woman aged 40+ is the same that that a high-quality man in his 20s has.

ADDED: I met and dated a number of quality women over age 40. I met them when I was over age 40.



hurtloam
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23 Dec 2021, 1:30 pm

Ha ha, no I would agree. That's why I don't persue younger men. I am quality, but they're in a different zone right now



AngelL
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23 Dec 2021, 1:51 pm

There are "high quality" men in their twenties and "high quality" women in their forties; I should hope that is incontrovertible. However, both being high quality probably makes them incompatible. A 20-something year old guy who graduated from Princeton with a Master's in Business Administration, was recruited for a Fortune 500 company immediately afterwards and is on a fast track to the top of the companies hierarchy can probably take his pick of partners. Add good-looking, emotionally balanced and mature for his age, and his friends describe him as kind, thoughtful, and honest - and he'll have them lining up.

Unless this guy has some serious mommy issues (which runs afoul of the 'emotionally balanced and mature' bit), I don't care how high quality the forty-something year old woman is, she's not going to be on his radar.



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23 Dec 2021, 2:08 pm

ironpony wrote:
I see a lot on dating advice forums online, a lot of women in their 30s complain about how they have trouble getting guys their own age, and that guys in their 30s go for women in their 20s a lot and this leaves a lot of women being romantically challenged to find a guy when they are in their 40s.

I also see a lot of guys in their 20s complain about how it's hard to find a woman their own age, because they keep going for older guys in their 30s a lot. So I wonder, since 20 year old men have it the toughest it seems as well as women in their 40s, would it make sense for the two groups to just date each other? Since they are what's the most left over it seems, wouldn't they just be happier with each other, rather than avoiding dating each other in the market?

It's just a thought I had, based on what people say about their love lives, but what do you think out of curiosity?


For me personally I just don't find men in there 20s attractive. I just can't look at someone who is so much younger than me and want sex with them.


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23 Dec 2021, 3:43 pm

babybird wrote:
For me personally I just don't find men in there 20s attractive.


Me either! Of course, I don't find men attractive, so there is that... Coincidentally, on Friday I stopped for coffee. I was the only customer and they walked a new employee through the process of making my drink. There were nine barista's working; and every one of them was supposed to be a young, good-looking young woman in her early twenties. During the six or seven minutes I was there, I tried to figure out what I would have found appealing about them when I was in my twenties and I couldn't do it. I'm sure a lot of guys would be drooling but I couldn't see it.

babybird wrote:
I just can't look at someone who is so much younger than me and want sex with them.


Yeah. Even if one of those nine young women had the perfect personality for me, I'm just getting too old for show and tell.



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23 Dec 2021, 4:28 pm

My late wife was 47 when we met and I was 25. We were together 22 years and married nearly 19. For the last few years of her life she had vascular dementia.



hurtloam
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23 Dec 2021, 4:54 pm

I'm not really meeting young men at the moment, covid and whatnot, but I follow some young comedians on Instagram and they are attractive to me, but maybe that's more because they make me laugh, I dunno.



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23 Dec 2021, 4:57 pm

Ladies...what's wrong with young guys? :lol: we have so much more energy


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hurtloam
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23 Dec 2021, 5:02 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Ladies...what's wrong with young guys? :lol: we have so much more energy


I don't know. I've been to the doctor for blood tests and nothing shows up. I'm exhausted all the time. I eat healthy. I exercise when I can. If doctors don't know, I don't know.



Benjamin the Donkey
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23 Dec 2021, 6:22 pm

If two people are compatible, why question it just because they're different ages? Couples can break up for many reasons that have nothing to do with age. My partner is significantly younger, but this is the best relationship I've had.


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24 Dec 2021, 2:41 pm

Oh okay, there seems to be people pointing out reasons why women in their 40s do not want to date men in their 20s and vice versa. But at the same time, men in their 20s, complain to losing to men in their 30s and women in their 40s complain to losing out to women in their 30s.

So beggars can't be choosers?



hurtloam
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24 Dec 2021, 2:51 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, there seems to be people pointing out reasons why women in their 40s do not want to date men in their 20s and vice versa. But at the same time, men in their 20s, complain to losing to men in their 30s and women in their 40s complain to losing out to women in their 30s.

So beggars can't be choosers?


Well, a few years ago I would have agreed to that logic. I felt the same way. My friend in a few years younger than me and was really messed about by men our age. She's sweet and quiet and gets picked on by manipulators. Date younger I told her.

I tried it and the younger guy treated me like a placeholder til he found what he really wanted. I'm hesitant now.

I don't want to be the placeholder again.