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renaeden
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26 Dec 2021, 3:59 am

Christmas I can't get out of because my family loves it.

But birthdays - I never tell anyone at work when it's my birthday because I don't want fuss. Also, it's a low self esteem thing. Who would care that it's MY birthday? I celebrate it with my family though, I have a twin sister who would think it weird if we didn't celebrate it.



League_Girl
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26 Dec 2021, 5:37 pm

Only thing I loved about Christmas was getting new toys.


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theprisoner
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26 Dec 2021, 5:43 pm

These things are only twice a year. How bad can it be. (Once a year ,if you're born on christmas--ha poor kids , that must cut down on the presents)


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IsabellaLinton
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26 Dec 2021, 5:51 pm

I'm sorry you feel so sad at Christmas and on your birthday.

I have no reason to be happy either. My grandfather committed suicide on my birthday, and my father died on Christmas Eve. I'm also autistic, so I can appreciate the way many people find the social or sensory aspects of either event quite overwhelming. I'm lucky that I find the routines and traditions for both occasions very soothing. I like that the days are predictable and the music / soft lighting are a stim for me. I only see my mother and perhaps my brother so it's never an overwhelming family gathering. I like making gifts for people because it's easier than explaining my feelings verbally. Overall I like these days even though I lost two beloved people on those days.



CurrerBell
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27 Dec 2021, 1:40 am

The world seems to enjoy these rituals! I find it fake, but I think most NT people really sincerely do enjoy the fact that everyone is participating in these rote actions of gift giving and special meals and Santa class myths on the same day. It’s bizarre when you really think about it. I always felt like it’s bit cruel to have these family-centric days when so many people don’t like or don’t have a family. Pretty insensitive, IMO. But I just do my own thing and thanks to,aspergers I totally enjoy myself.



Dandansson
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27 Dec 2021, 6:31 am

armandreyes wrote:
we have to pretend to be happy even thought we have no reason to be happy

I don't have to.
I am not asked to be a jolly santa. Seriously, I think it depends on whom you are with.



Nemesis2k7
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18 Jan 2022, 3:59 am

This. I have avoided them as much as possible. Last year i did not though. I decided to try and fake being happy. for the sake of my family. as they, and myself, are all getting older. Actually proud of myself for doing a good job.



neilinmich
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18 Jan 2022, 10:27 am

It has been many years since I have given Christmas or Birthday gifts. I still give Birthday cards (but I just hand them to the person, I don't mail them). Long ago, when I still went Christmas shopping, I suffered anxiety doing it. I felt like I was forced to do something that I just couldn't do. I didn't know how to select a gift for someone. I still don't. Now I think it has something to do with my ASD. It's an interpersonal thing that I can't get a grip on. I know I'll always fail to do it right and I dread the moment when they'll open the gift and pretend to like it.
Nowadays, if someone asks why I don't give Christmas gifts, I'll say "I'm not Christian". And that usually works. It's also true. I was raised Christian but I rejected the religion long ago.



ToughDiamond
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18 Jan 2022, 12:38 pm

neilinmich wrote:
I didn't know how to select a gift for someone. I still don't. Now I think it has something to do with my ASD. It's an interpersonal thing that I can't get a grip on. I know I'll always fail to do it right and I dread the moment when they'll open the gift and pretend to like it.

I remember when I first started work, feeling that I had to give Xmas cards to everybody there. It was overwhelming and quite scary, trying to make a list of everybody (there were a lot of people there). In the end I figured out a cunning plan - I'd sign a few cards without putting any of my workmates' names on them, take them to work, and then if somebody gave me a card I'd quietly go off and write their name on the envelope of one of those pre-signed cards and give them that. If they didn't give me a card, I figured it was OK for me not to give them one. The method reduced the work and over the years I had fewer and fewer people to give cards to. Later I took the bolder step of just not doing Xmas cards at all.