I keep going nonverbal

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I keep not being able to talk. It annoys people around me. They act like I'm being rude but they dont understand that its not my choice. I just get so overwhelmed.

Could you maybe explain it to them when it's not occurring?

They have to be made to understand that it's not voluntary and that you're literally unable to form words because you're overwhelmed. They might not get it at first but if you're consistent in how you explain it they might slowly absorb the message.

I have tried to explain it but it just doesn't make sense to them. I feel like I'm broken. Certain people I just dont even want to explain it to. Some people laugh at me too. I sometimes go to the library but now I feel uncomfortable going there because I know they think I'm "crazy". Everywhere I go people think that. I get it though, I'm different. I dont make eye contact ever. I'm nervous a lot. I rock back and forth.

The worst is when people pretend to be understanding but are actually judging me.

You can obtain/carry 'Autism alert cards' with a succint message of your issues for others to understand.

"communication" euphemism for noise pollution

"Verbal fluency" euphemism for "smooth talking"

Music, sound, noise

Sometimes precious lil "people" talk too much and too loud and there are too many of them

Sometimes they make so much noise they gimme a headache, and I can't do anything about it because precious lil "people" always outnumbered overpowered outsmarted, my worthless corpse

Then when noise pollution comes out of my beak, precious lil "people" half listen and grunt "huh" and "what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

My verbal skills are going downhill too, also I’ll get frustrated in conversations with people asking me question after question