Bottom of his list?

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All of these things are certainly objectionable, for reasons I can easily understand.

What I don't quite understand is why it bothers you that he didn't make it a priority to attend your New Year's party. Given his inappropriate behavior at your birthday party, why did you even invite him to your New Year's party, much less feel disappointed by his lack of interest in attending?

The reason it bothers me because

1. I thought he was my friend
2. He made it sound like he was my friend when he was not m. Instead, he jerked me around
3. He expected me to bend over backwards and go to his things

How many mutual friends/acquaintances do you and he have?

And is there any larger social circle (e.g. your workplace, or a church or synagogue) that you and he are both part of?

Mutual acquaintances: yes

I have other friends

Speaking of which, I talked to some other friends of mine. They both told me that

1. He seems to think he’s better than everyone else
2. The world owes him a living
3. He’s negative
4. He blames everyone else for he bad choices and behaviors

That said, I have decided that he is just not worth perusing. Therefore, I have decided to ghost him.

Ghosting is likely to cause further drama, given that you do have common acquaintances.

I would suggest that you gently ease him out of your life, but not outright ghost him. Next time he contacts you to dump on someone, perhaps you could tell him you're not interested in being dumped on. Also, of course, don't invite him to any more parties.

Ok, thanks for that

You are in a one-sided friendship. I suggest not beating yourself up over it because it happens from time to time through out ones life. I would suggest reading up on one-sided friendships, how to recognize when you are in one, and how to avoid or make it more equal so you can avoid being in a situation like this again.

Update: That friendship is over now.

Basically, I unfriended him on FB which he picked up on. When he texted me and asked why, I told him that we are not a good fit for each other and that I am not his therapist. I also said that I need to take care of myself

He attempted to throw a hissy fit by saying that the universe is against him. He also pulled out the “I was nice to you” manipulation card but I pretty much stayed calm and shut him down.

Well Done!

This is a prime example of why “cancelling” is not only effective, but necessary.

Stay strong, and keep up the ghost!

Bottom line, I got tired of being taken advantage of.

Additionally, he pulled out the “You’re the only one who I can talk to,” line. please. He gives all his friends the same song and dance.

As for me unfriending him in FB, he asked if it was because he could not make it to my party. No, but I had it at that point next to the fact that his other friends were more important.

Nice work

Thank you everyone for your advice because I was beginning to feel confused.


However, he doesn’t seem to care how he treated me. He also does not want to own up to his actions. Instead, he wants to view me as the bad guy because I dumped him. I don’t have time for that

Excellent job, ST!

I've been there before, too. It's never their behavior that's the problem, but your reaction to it. It sounded like he enjoyed stringing you along, knowing you were waiting to hang out with him. I've been through that too.

I cut him from my life for that reason and because I got tired of him dumping on me.

Really, he only invited me to group things

1. Mainly the video game socials
2. His birthday

However, he never invited me to go see movies with him or go bowling.

However,
He told another friend of mine that he does not like me any less. Yet, he never told me that. Rather, he does not have the energy to hang out with all his friends.


He has come to my things in the past but he was never that excited about them. He would come over and hang out for a little while and then something else was always more important

Could part of your confusion between you two be because you each seemed to have very different expectations, and then each of your signals were not clear?
-Either you were trying to date him--and get him to be the one to initiate it
--OR, you wanted him to be a close, platonic friend (along the lines of a female friendship

Q: Which was it?

-He seems to have either wanted to use you in a one-sided, platonic friendship as a good listener of his complaints,
--OR, he seems to have attempted to reciprocate (in ND+guy fashion) by trying to invite you into his circle of friends sharing their guy interests(*)

Are any of these plausible views of the situation?