Explaining Why I'm Leaving WP

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HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jan 2022, 2:36 am

I didn't really think that I'd make an actual post about this, but I thought that I should try to explain why I don't feel comfortable using WP anymore, especially to the people that have become my friends and acquaintances on here.

As someone whose autistic, I come on to WP to interact with people that are more like me, and to get a chance to feel "understood" by other people for once. It's important to me to have somewhere where I don't have to constantly explain or mask myself, and to get to socialize without all of the anxiety that other sites + IRL interactions give me.

Though, as a trans person, it does ruin my experience on WP to feel like I'm still expected to constantly explain and validate myself, one of the things I come on here to not have to do, sometimes to people who don't even want to listen to or understand me.

Additionally, it can be degrading to see people like me being treated like a pawn in the constant political arguments on here, as if trans people and any topics regarding us have no depth other than being associated with "political correctness", "wokeness", and whatever other buzzwords people on here use, including the fact that our worth seems to be conflated with how much people either "agree" or "disagree" with those topics.

It seems to also be easy to say that I should just "ignore" those things, and I tried to do so for quite awhile, but when the same arguments happen over and over again, and people need to explain the same things over and over again, especially to the same people, it becomes apparent that these issues are more than just a "misunderstanding" or people being "uneducated", and more so a blatant refusal to understand people like me, or sometimes even accept that people like me understand ourselves.

I've gotten enough of that type of treatment from NT people who don't want to understand me and my issues as an autistic person, the same type of treatment that negatively affects me and many other people that I've met on here. That's why I don't feel comfortable using WP anymore, as I can't continue to allow myself to use a website meant for autistic people that makes me feel that way.

Now that I've attempted to explain myself I'm going to go through with my "exit" from WP, though I will occasionally log on for a couple days to check my PMs and see if anyone's trying to stay in touch with me.


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AprilR
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03 Jan 2022, 4:35 am

Sorry to hear you're leaving.

I also relate to what you say a lot. I come here with the hope that i will be understood a little, unlike in real life.

I thought that since autistic people know what being ostracized feels like they would be more open minded in general than regular people too. But this isn't always the case here. I think it's true that autistic people and neurotypicals aren't so different after all in some areas. Conforming is necessary in every kind of community, but of course not to the detriment of your mental health.

Again, i am sorry to hear you go, you seem like a very nice and friendly person. I hope you have better experiences in the future.



HighLlama
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03 Jan 2022, 6:13 am

Sorry to see you go, HeroOfHyrule. I hope you find the acceptance you're looking for.



1986
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03 Jan 2022, 6:21 am

Sorry you're leaving. I enjoyed your posts and since I generally don't participate in the political discussions I will say I appreciated your insight and entertaining posts/topics in the other forums. Wishing you well on your future endeavours.



babybird
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03 Jan 2022, 6:37 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I didn't really think that I'd make an actual post about this, but I thought that I should try to explain why I don't feel comfortable using WP anymore, especially to the people that have become my friends and acquaintances on here.

As someone whose autistic, I come on to WP to interact with people that are more like me, and to get a chance to feel "understood" by other people for once. It's important to me to have somewhere where I don't have to constantly explain or mask myself, and to get to socialize without all of the anxiety that other sites + IRL interactions give me.

Though, as a trans person, it does ruin my experience on WP to feel like I'm still expected to constantly explain and validate myself, one of the things I come on here to not have to do, sometimes to people who don't even want to listen to or understand me.

Additionally, it can be degrading to see people like me being treated like a pawn in the constant political arguments on here, as if trans people and any topics regarding us have no depth other than being associated with "political correctness", "wokeness", and whatever other buzzwords people on here use, including the fact that our worth seems to be conflated with how much people either "agree" or "disagree" with those topics.

It seems to also be easy to say that I should just "ignore" those things, and I tried to do so for quite awhile, but when the same arguments happen over and over again, and people need to explain the same things over and over again, especially to the same people, it becomes apparent that these issues are more than just a "misunderstanding" or people being "uneducated", and more so a blatant refusal to understand people like me, or sometimes even accept that people like me understand ourselves.

I've gotten enough of that type of treatment from NT people who don't want to understand me and my issues as an autistic person, the same type of treatment that negatively affects me and many other people that I've met on here. That's why I don't feel comfortable using WP anymore, as I can't continue to allow myself to use a website meant for autistic people that makes me feel that way.

Now that I've attempted to explain myself I'm going to go through with my "exit" from WP, though I will occasionally log on for a couple days to check my PMs and see if anyone's trying to stay in touch with me.


Well you know that you do have support here if ever you do want to come back.

I don't believe in ignoring discrimination myself so I would never advise. But I also don't believe in always feeling as though you have to explain or justify yourself either (no one should ever have to do this). And also I get how so f*****g tiring it can get when you feel you need to always fight the same f*****g argument over and over again to planks of f*****g wood who are too thick to just shut the f**k up and accept that people are diverse in a myriad of ways.

I wish you would stay and play in the games forum with us. You know we love you and you will be greatly missed (you already are).

It's a sad day for diversity when diversity is not accepted or appreciated.

Much love

bb



Misslizard
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03 Jan 2022, 11:40 am

Wish you would stay.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Jan 2022, 11:47 am

It's a sad day when human beings aren't respected for being human beings.

Hero's need to feel welcome, valid, and most importantly comfortable, was compromised on a site that endeavours to accommodate differences without judgement or attack.

We've lost a dear friend and someone with extraordinary leadership potential for this site and elsewhere.

I'll miss you a lot, Hero. You were an inspiration to me from Day 1 because you're sincere and genuine.

Best wishes from me, my daughter, and all our pets



VegetableMan
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03 Jan 2022, 12:22 pm

^Well said! It's unfortunate that the ugly nature of politics has created an environment where those seeking refuge from a world that is often hostile to their quirks and differences is so toxic. This has been a problem here for a long time. It's cost the community some very valuable voices.


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Doberdoofus
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03 Jan 2022, 12:46 pm

Sorry to hear you are leaving. It appears that you will be missed by members and Wrong Planet.


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funeralxempire
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03 Jan 2022, 1:08 pm

It's a shame that the hostility is almost accepted as a tolerable default and any criticisms are dismissed as 'woke'. People insist that their right to espouse hateful views must be protected because only a decade or two ago questioning their views was unthinkable but their views are still the problem and have always been a problem.

And that's a fact that doesn't care about bigots delicate feelings.


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2022, 1:10 pm

Reasons to stay, IMO, just to be a thorn in their sides and shout at them that you exist and are just as valid as anyone else - if not more so for the extra effort you have to put into life - regardless of whatever their particular brand of discriminatory politics makes them believe.

Further to that, I don't read every thread on the forum and I don't even come here daily - sometimes not for a while depending on how busy I am with work and life - BUT - I have several trans friends/acquaintances and am Also on the LGBT spectrum, soooo, if you notice some harsh bs that needs more than your voice to counter - feel free to pm me a link to the thread and I'd be happy to chime in and correct people on their stupidity. :heart:


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Joe90
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03 Jan 2022, 1:29 pm

Just stick around, avoid posting in the PPR or L&D, and if anyone gives you any trouble then report it or tell a mod. They're usually very good at sorting out unfair insults and things like that.

You can't really stop people from not understanding or even agreeing to transgender but as long as they're not upsetting you or saying nasty things about transgender people then it should be OK.


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2022, 1:48 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Just stick around, avoid posting in the PPR or L&D, and if anyone gives you any trouble then report it or tell a mod. They're usually very good at sorting out unfair insults and things like that.

You can't really stop people from not understanding or even agreeing to transgender but as long as they're not upsetting you or saying nasty things about transgender people then it should be OK.


Partially agree.

Stick around and specifically post on thos subforums. Then invite rational people to back you up in those threads while also reporting any ridiculously over the top terrible posts.

I just don’t like seeing people give in to ignorant bigots. Ever.


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HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jan 2022, 1:52 pm

I'd like to thank you guys for being understanding of my situation. :heart: I would really like to stay and continue to interact with people on here, and maybe eventually I'll come back, though I think that'll take some time and maybe some changes before I'd feel comfortable doing that.

Quote:
Just stick around, avoid posting in the PPR or L&D, and if anyone gives you any trouble then report it or tell a mod. They're usually very good at sorting out unfair insults and things like that.

You can't really stop people from not understanding or even agreeing to transgender but as long as they're not upsetting you or saying nasty things about transgender people then it should be OK.

I understand that cis people wouldn't get why the issues w/ trans people on here would make me uncomfortable, but it's kind of like if you were autistic and were using a forum full of NT people, and a sizeable portion of the NT people always talk about how they think "autism isn't real", "autistic people are mentally ill and attention seekers", "giving accommodations to autistic people is just PC/snowflake/woke BS", etc. and if you say anything about how and why that type of stuff is wrong or upsets you, you just get told you're overreacting and stifling their rights to "free speech".

You're right that I can't stop others from not understanding trans people, but just like I wouldn't want to stay on a forum full of NTs that has people disrespecting autistics, plus telling them they're overreacting for saying anything about it, I don't feel like I should stay on here either.


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I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I also have a rabbit, and enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.


AnonymousAnonymous
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03 Jan 2022, 1:54 pm

Wow Brother H of H, this took me entirely by surprise. :o
You're a good WP member who will always be welcomed whenever you want.

I also hope you will also find what you want in your life.


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Joe90
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03 Jan 2022, 1:56 pm

Quote:
You're right that I can't stop others from not understanding trans people, but just like I wouldn't want to stay on a forum full of NTs that has people disrespecting autistics, plus telling them they're overreacting for saying anything about it, I don't feel like I should stay on here either.


I do see your point. I get annoyed when people say the same about ADHD, that it doesn't exist and all of that. Even some autistic people here have said it.


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