So my friend/crush broke up with her bf...

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robo37
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10 Jan 2022, 11:52 am

So there's this girl I've been fawning over for the past two years and we've became quite close friends, but then just as I was starting to lose interest BAM, she broke up with her boyfriend.

Problem is things are a little bit awkward between us at the moment, she used be really affectionate and sand me constant messages of validation at work, but recently she's stopped that. She said it's because she's been busy at work (she recently got a promotion) and because something personally happened that causes her anxiety when sending and receiving messages, but she won't tell me what.

The other thing is that when she broke up with her boyfriend she said something else personal happened that meant she had to move back into her parents' place, which is very far away. She doesn't ever want to return to my city because of PTSD.

Does anyone have any suggestions how I can open up to her about how I feel while remaining sensitive to her personal circumstances? I really like her and am willing to do anything to make things work.



that1weirdgrrrl
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10 Jan 2022, 1:16 pm

Quote:
because something personally happened that causes her anxiety when sending and receiving messages

when she broke up with her boyfriend she said something else personal happened that meant she had to move back into her parents' place

She doesn't ever want to return to my city because of PTSD.


Going way out on a limb here, but it sounds like there is a possibility that her relationship with her bf wasn't very healthy, and ended under poor circumstances.

If this is indeed the case (may or may not be) it would be best to give her space to allow her to redefine herself as an individual and heal from the relationship.

Anything you do send her should be light and supportive and sporadic. Something like a once a week text saying something like, "how are you doing?"

Definitely dont pry or confess your feelings.

Like I said, if she just got out of a bad relationship, she needs time to heal.


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KMCIURA
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11 Jan 2022, 7:34 pm

If things are so serious for her that she does have a PTSD after her latest relationship, that's the worst time to confess her your feelings. Just be her friend, at least for a while. Show her that you care. Also: do not put pressure on her to tell you what has happened. It is up to her to decide if she wants to tell you or not.

Maybe after a while, if she'll get better, tell her that you miss having her around and if she would like you to visit her and simply hang out together. If she agrees and you two meet, then take it from there.