What makes you manipulative?

Post Reply New Topic

It's a term based on the old 40's movie. He is trying to convince she is cray-cray as to steal her wealth. It's a good movie as I just watched it. Today it's used to describe a person that presents a false narrative that makes another doubt their perceptions and then to be misled.

Manipulation is confusing and I constantly wonder what the line is. Like with masking, is that manipulative because you are changing yourself/not presenting the real you. Then again the real you might get rejected or be misunderstood. I think I get confused because lots of people mistook my genuine misunderstandings as me trying to manipulate/lie to them. Idk

I think from the responses in this one instance though I must not be.

Wasn't quite sure if this belongs here but let me explain. One of my constant obsessions that peaks when my mental illness is at its worse is that I must have something about me that is repulsive to most people, with this affecting males the worst. I thought of it initially as an energy but now I think it has to come from how I hold myself and there must be something about how I act that I don't understand because of my autism.

I was thinking about this today and came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how I look, I will always be ugly/repulsive because that s what I am in myself

Then I started thinking about how the friend who cut me off said that when he first met me he wanted to protect me/thought I needed to be protected but then after he got to know me more he ended up saying something about me made him want to argue with me/upset me. I think maybe this is what a lot of people get with me so maybe how I can stop this happening is try to skew things more to the protective side.

I'm already working on losing weight because a sudden weight gain triggered by a fear of abandonment made it really hard for me towalk more than 10 minutes. When I weighed myself last I was 91.8 (202lbs) kg and I'm aiming to get to around 60-65kg (132-143). I think it's possible as I'm doing it through mindful eating and exercise, the former which made me realise I was bingeing every three or so days and eating constantly till I felt sick. I feel if i was that smaller weight, paired with the fact my legs turn in and the fact I apparently always look terrified that would make people less repulsed. I don't want to be protected but I'd rather people feel that than want to hurt me.

Is that manipulative? I know it isn't exactly healthy but when he cut me off that was my last straw. Guys seem to always get disgusted at me, so strongly that they like to rub it in my face. It's not like I insult them or argue with them just before it happens. I think they must realise what I am and that is why they are disgusted. Is it wrong of me to try to stop this? I don't know if that is manipulative or not and I don't want to be that because it is morally wrong. I just don't want to feel abandoned again.