No one will listen

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Why does no one care? I'm venting here because I feel horrible physically and I am too uncomfortable to talk to anyone. But my condition isn't real! It doesn't exist to these people! They're evil, I hate them. I hope I die and it's all their fault. I have researched all I could, come up with so many theories, yet none of them care. Because I'm just a little peasant to them.
How can you be so heartless? How can you be this desperate for money? How can you ignore all my cries for help, and lie that it doesn't exist?
It does, b*****s. Stop pretending you care. You would only care if I was one of you. But I'm not. I did this to myself to attempt to get out of this being stuck in the middle, I did it for "attention" or whatever the f**k you say. I have so many good ideas, but you don't care. If you did this to anyone more known than me, everyone would hate you. Everyone should hate you.
Everything I say will always be a lie. Because according to your elitist "professional" BS, I'm not real because you decided to ignore me. Someone died because of this, and you have the audacity to not classify it as a real condition? Well f**k you.
It's self harm until it's something I do. Because I'm such a pure baby and I would never do anything like that. How did no one notice?
Why am I forced to deal with something like this all alone? Because you don't think it's real? How do you live with yourself after hearing my tortured screams as you shut me out, literally? Just because I won't wear that thing doesn't mean you can do something like that to me.
I can't even get schoolwork done. I can't do anything like that, all because of this. And you ignore me? Well, it's real. You're all about raising awareness until someone tells you something you genuinely don't understand. Promoting me wouldn't benefit you, so you try to pretend you didn't see me.
I will be forced to suffer in silence until I find you. I'm writing emo poetry right now, I know, but it's true. One day I will find the person who will listen to me and spread my message. Because apparently I won't be listened to until I find someone who's "real" in your eyes. STOP TELLING ME TO CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE, AND CHANGE YOUR OWN!
Not faking, I just want to be heard.

Um...I'm not quite sure what to put, as I don't quite know if you're aiming it at people in your life or us on WP, or both, or just speaking in second person.
But it sounds you do need someone to listen to you. Please can more people reply to posts like these, in the haven, because it's where people are crying out for support, and is much more important than arguing about Donald bloody Trump in the PPR.

I'm sorry I can't offer much support but I hear you. Whatever it is you're suffering from sounds real to me. Hopefully there will be more replies to your post with better responses than I have come up with.

Hugs

Cora I'm so sorry you are suffering and people aren't listening to you or taking your pain seriously. Sometimes others don't like to acceot there is something going on and that harms you. I'm not quite sure who this vent is directed at but I'm sorry you feel o alone. It is such a difficult feeling.

I see you are also struggling with self harm and don't let other people belittle your version. There are so many different forms and don't let people convince you aren't actually suffering. You are and deserve to feel better.

I wish I could help as it really sounds like you're suffering. Sending love

Thank you both so much. This rant was kinda directed at medical "professionals" who always seem to invalidate my struggles and deny my pain because it isn't "official" to them and listening to me wouldn't give them money. Luckily it has gotten better by now but I was in so much pain that it felt like torture, and this isn't even a rare occurrence. Then add the fact that I'm probably just faking autism and I'm just being dramatic and s**t and I can't really rant to anyone IRL because my parents don't really care and I have trouble talking to actual people when it feels like my body is under attack.
I am trying to work on a game also to raise awareness for the problem that I mentioned, as I'm the only one who'll do it, but I am very discouraged as my coding is fine and it should work but there's this problem occurring that no one else had. I gave up on that engine and am going to find another one that's easier to use.
I don't know what I have to do to be taken seriously. It's quite obvious that no one's gonna care because none of them like me and it wouldn't benefit them to listen to me. I've had to go undercover to ask for advice on other forums, and my posts were locked and apparently were just so bad that they actually got deleted.

Hello Cora. I am glad you are feeling better now. I could really hear the pain you were expressing. It is real. Your problems are real. Your perceptions are real. You are probably smarter than most of the adults who are supposed to help you, but don't.

I was miserable as a teen too. I had no idea I was autistic, because there wasn't any such thing back then. No special ed. But, I think that ended up being good for me because I didn't get infantalized by all that stuff that you are dealing with.

In my experience, an adult who actually listens to a 14 year old is going to be a pretty rare bird. I know I couldn't get anyone to understand my point of view. Being much older now, I can see that many of my points back then were right on. Others weren't. But that doesn't matter because that is how you learn.

I hope you can find the strength to keep yourself together until you can get out of there and find some place where you can be yourself.

In retrospect, in my life, the biggest problem I had as a teen in being so desperate for someone who "understands" or even tolerated me, I took up with the wrong people and made decisions that have impacted my life to this day.

Hang in there, Cora. The people here believe you and understand. (There is also a thread for RANTS and another where to write whatever you want to someone, but not to be sent. Both these threads might help you with the frustration.)

At 14, the brutal truth is if an adult suddenly started to listen to me and is overly interested, this was a huge red flag. Be careful out there.

I have a clue why nobody understood me; I mumbled with a speech impediment and talked with my face looking at the ground, would get frustrated and then give up because usually after finally getting the words out, they still didn't understand me. And now as I discovered as aged, they never really understood me and evidently, neither did I.

I didn't want to annoy people with a new thread so I'll just say it here.
I just realized I don't have any friends. It took me a while of denying it, and trying to say that people who don't text me back are just busy, but I actually have no friends at all, and haven't for years. I go on the search for friends constantly, but just can't get or keep any. I try so much harder than everyone else. I just want friends and no one likes me outside of my family, and everyone from school ignores me.