Assessment over webcam and the eye contact issue.

Post Reply New Topic

Yes! With a friend a quick eye contact—no more than a glance—might be OK, but nothing of any duration.

I hold doors, especially for gals. And, if you read my preceding comments, you'll understand that I am not looking for eye contact. A "Thanks!" or a smile would be appreciated. If you looked at my eyes I probably would not know it because I am unlikely to look into yours—and if I did find us staring into each other's eyes I would be uncomfortable. Maybe a quick glance would seem safe, I guess.

There are a mix of reasons I hold doors:
-=-- I'm old. It used to be obligatory chivalry. I'm an Aspie. It's what I do and I don't like change.
-=-- Disregarding social niceties, it would seem rude to actively or passively shut a door in someone's face.
-=-- It is less efficient if everyone has to reopen the door for themself.
And, obviously, sometimes the other person might be carrying something.

Thank you for your insight. I would always hold a door open if someone is right behind me or close but arms full. I've held doors open for an approaching physically handicapped person.

But men will hold it for me when I'm 25 feet away and even more! and walking very slowly with totally free arms. I make sure not to be right behind them, as this would cue them to hold it for me to prevent it from "slamming in my face." I do the distance thing. Funny, I'm as averse to this as you are with eye contact. Like they say, "If you've met one autistic person you've met one autistic person." I'm sure my aversion is related to my neuro-wiring. I've never liked this "invitation" to get into a stranger's personal space.

Well, speaking as one person—I think this may apply to quite a few guys, NT or ND—sometimes there is an ulterior motive for holding the door open for a gal even if she is still some distance from the door: It makes me feel good! If holding the door is a nice thing to do then holding it open for a little longer as the gal approaches must be an extra nice thing to do. I can mentally pat myself on the back for having been good. And I can hope I've made her day a little better.

Though, that's me. Maybe some guys do want to meet you.

I would never have gone back to the assessors and asked for this if not for your response, and so I did ask, and to my surprise they have agreed to do it in person! I'm so glad.

I was getting stressed and anxious about getting a webcam, mic and screens all set up and working right, so that they could see my trunk and how I play with objects, also with logging into teams, and the whole eye contact and body language thing being different over webcam. I feel like the whole thing will feel much more authentic and valid now and will be proper. It's a very important thing, and likely to be the one and only chance I get for a proper assessment, so I'm so pleased that I won't have to be concerned about the issues that were bothering me so much.

My appointment is @ 9:30 am and I've taken the whole of the day off work. I shouldn't think that I would find it very easy to try to focus and concentrate on work after going through the assessment. And so I'll have the rest of the day to let things settle.

Then the nerve racking wait for the results will begin!

Relax. The hard part is getting to the assessment. After that it might be kind of amusing!